3 simple, life-changing words...

FIND YOUR PASSION!

************

A lesson in every situation? Oh, yeah!

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, wonder what it is you are supposed to get out of every situation?

Well, I am going to keep this short; I’m tired!!!  Let me tell you why…

On a recent trip to visit out-of-town family, for a planned experience, I found myself in the midst of an unexpected one…

About fifteen minutes before my scheduled departure for the airport, my brother-in-law suffered a major heart attack that found us speeding to the hospital emergency room.

Two hours later, we were conferencing with the cardiologist as he showed us a video of the life-saving procedure that re-opened the main artery; the widow-maker, as it has come to be known.  WOW.  

My basic cardiology “class” was just one lesson I learned that day, and I guess I didn’t really learn it as much as I was reminded of a lesson I was raised with.  That lesson is to take no one and nothing for granted and that each day is a gift.

We had household rules growing up.  One was never to slam the door when you left or to leave being angry at a family member.  My Dad always reminded us there was no guarantee that upon re-entering the house we would find everyone where we had left them.  So true.

Regret is a terrible thing to live with; avoid it.  Live in the moment.  Tell the people you love that you love them during the good times; don’t wait for life and death situations.  Let go of grudges; they are burdensome loads that take years off your life, maybe not life expectancy, per se, but the good thing you should expect to get out of life and that others should feel the blessing to expect from you.  Hey, we are all in this together; let’s be there for each other, in the good times and in the bad.

This is a special week for scores of millions of people around the world.  For Christians, it’s Holy Week; for Jews, it is Passover.  The gentleman who sat beside me on the plane ride home was a Muslim visiting the United States to lecture on world religions because it is a special week in that community, as well. 

I know it’s NOT JUST ME… as I said; we are all in this together.

To all who may be suffering now…

GET well, BE well, and STAY well.

Today was a total waste of makeup!

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, “get” the humor in this?  Have you ever felt this way – I have!!!

I saw a small, decorative wooden sign with the saying, ‘Today was a total waste of makeup’.  I stood there and laughed.  I got it.  I know so many other women who, if with me, would have shared the laugh.

  

Laughing is good; we should all laugh more!

You anticipate.  You prepare.  You imagine.

Then… You experience disappointment.  You feel discouraged.

                            You don’t know what you did wrong.

Chances are, you did nothing wrong!  You kissed another proverbial frog.  It’s life.  It’s probable.  Wash your face.  Start again tomorrow.

Don’t be fooled.  There is a “sort of” success in failure.  WHAT?  Yes.  Every lesson learned is a step closer to where it is you hope to be. Now, you know what NOT to do tomorrow.  Number one on the DO NOT DO list is to give up or feel sorry for yourself. No No No.

 I read a quote today from the great Dale Carnegie:

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,

is not only a waste of energy

but the worst habit you could possibly have.

Touché, Mr. Carnegie.

Negative energy is among the most draining waste of time.  It depletes you; it diminishes you.  You end up alone in your own misery.

Positive energy begets energy.  It becomes contagious.  It attracts.  Your spirit is never alone.

CHOOSE!

Nothing you do, nothing you try, nothing you fail at is ever a waste – unless you let it be.  Each experience is a moment of empowerment, enlightenment, and education.  Each “no” in life brings you closer to the “yes”.

Say “yes’ to yourself.  Look for the silver-lining in every cloud ; it’s there.  We only fail to see when we decide to stop looking.

So, IS it just me?  Probably not!

You can even skip the makeup!

(if you put a positive smile on, instead!)

It’s up to you…

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, feel as though things are sometimes beyond your control?

Recently, I had the pleasure of being in an audience to hear a great slant on this feeling – this belief. It happened to have been a religious service, but the metaphor is quite ecumenical and certainly applicable to life beyond any religious affiliation.

“The door to “hell”, he said, “is locked from the inside”. 

Brilliant, I thought.  The visual was at first very compelling, then practical.

Let’s agree to define “hell” as anything with an overwhelming sense of doom, negativity, helplessness.  Hell can be anything from momentary, to temporary, or go as far as total desperation, which, even if truly just momentary, can feel endless.

OK!  We get “hell” (I guess we can give it from time to time, as well!!)

The lesson here is that, sadly, we often put ourselves in this condition called hell and sadly, may chose to remain there!  Putting it in that context sounds less than intelligent, I know, but…think about it….this makes sense.

We all know someone (just one, if you’re lucky) who dwells in, or worse, creates their own hell: always focusing on what makes them a victim in life, one who is destined to be helpless, hopeless.

We also know someone (just one, if you’re blessed) who, regardless of all the challenges thrown in their direction, make everyone around them feel better just for knowing them.  They never focus on all that’s going wrong, all that would seem to give them the right to complain about.  They are never the victim.

WHY?

 Because they chose to live that way!  They refuse to be locked behind that door or made the decision to release themselves from it.  The good news is that the door opens the moment we decide to unlock it for ourselves.

Conversely, the learned preacher went on to describe a rather familiar depiction of Jesus knocking on a door.  I knew the picture right away.  What I never noticed was that the door has no doorknob!

Here’s why….

Let’s agree that Jesus can represent nothing but goodness, positivity, opportunity.  HOPE.

We are probably all familiar with the phrase…”opportunity is knocking”.  I’ve heard a version that states “opportunity knocks once”.

I choose to see it this way…there I always opportunity, hope, good things happening in the world.  It’s always knocking – but (no doorknob!), you have to let it in…again, YOUR CHOICE. 

May I suggest this?  Make good choices – you really do have more control than you may realize.  As women, we are expected to make good choices that affect our families, those in our workplace, and in our communities.  THE WORLD NEEDS WOMEN TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES – AND WE CAN, WE DO!

Let yourself out of whatever negativity you may be locking yourself inside of.

Listen for the knock of positivity, of opportunity; good things just waiting for you to accept them in your life.

So is it just ME, or do you, too, get it; we own the key to both doors!

                          

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Open the door and find out!

Hope…it SPRINGs Eternal…

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, just love this time of year?

Now, I know not all of us are heading into Springtime, and I’m sorry for those of you who are not; although Autumn is magical, as well.

Today, March, 20, 2013, we will experience the vernal equinox in the northern hemisphere. It is the time of year when night and day are nearly equal.  It corresponds to the centre of the sun crossing the celestial equator, heading southward.  In the southern hemisphere, it occurs 6 months later, as the northern hemisphere begins autumn.

That’s as much the astronomy as I can muster!

The start of Spring is so much more.  In ancient times, it signaled it was time to plant the crops; a widely believed explanation of the ever-mysterious Stonehenge.

Today – and I think we truly need this – Spring is a time when we begin to sense a feeling of renewal, a spirit of rebirth, starting over. We see buds forming on trees, we hear the chirping of birds at dawn telling us to get up and begin the day, ever hopeful it will be a good one.   Yes, we hope.

In the Judeo-Christian world, the beginning of Spring means the celebrations of Passover and Easter Sunday; both symbols of hope, possibility, and renewal of spirit and purpose.

It’ a busy time: winter clean-ups, landscaping, painting houses, planting flowers… it’s a very busy time.

So, why do we do these things?

Simple: we feel good!  Spring revives hope and with hope, there is possibility.  Possibility!  Anything can happen.  Everything is possible.

I love the very notion of having another shot and maybe, just maybe, doing a better job, getting better results, achieving higher goals. WE HOPE.

What is HOPE? Hope is a strong desire for something to be possible, a strong belief that an outcome will be attained without any true certainty that it will.  Hope is a form of trust.

OK! Let’s be honest hoping, wishing for something is great, but wishing – even really, really hard, doesn’t make it so.  So, what can we do to move hope into reality.  WE DECIDE.  WE CHOOSE.  Then, WE ACT.

Women of leadership are natural agents of hope:  they inspire, motivate, and make everything seem possible.  That’s the starting point.  From there, we need to get moving, we need to Do, to ACT, to BE.  Then and only then can something we hoped for yesterday become today’s activity and tomorrow’s reality.

Know what it is you are hoping for.  Decide if it’s important enough for you to pursue.  Plan “the plan”.  Move through it   Expect bumps in the road, see the forks-in-the-road ahead, allow yourself to pull-off the side of the road and regroup. 

Just don’t give up.  

Even more so, don’t steal hope from another.  Where doubt may be, encourage.  Help another believe that what they are hoping for it worth it and possible.

Sometimes leading another means pushing them a bit.  So, PUSH: Provide Unlimited Support and Help.

When necessary, PULL: Provide Unlimited Love and LISTEN.

HOPE does SPRING Eternal – and TODAY IS THE DAY!  

So, IS It Just Me, or do you, too, feel hopeful for all that is possible in your life?  Good, go get it!

I HOPE all you are wishing for will be yours!

Beware the Ides of March!

Is It Just ME, or are you, too familiar with this expression without really knowing why?

Briefly, the Roman calendar began in the month of March.  The beginning of the New Year was cause for celebration and the celebration typically lasted until the middle, “the Ides”, of the month.

The warning, “Beware the ides of March” was given to Julius Caesar by a soothsayer, who was forewarning the Roman Emperor of the danger he would encounter in the middle of March.  Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44BC.  His death was avenged on the same day, 4 years later,  when hundreds of conspirators were murdered.

So, all you Roman Emperors, “Beware the Ides of March”, indeed!

The middle of March is upon us; today, the Ides of March.  This time of year means our New Year’s Resolutions are probably as much a part of history as the death of Julius Caesar!  That’s OK!  We’re all human.

Like most things, the Ides of March can mean many things.  Most important is what it means to you:  your thoughts, your perspectives, your realities, your actions or lack thereof…your choices. 

The Ides of March need not just refer to the middle of March – it could refer to the middle of well – anything!

Have you ever started something: a project, a book, a letter, an assignment, cleaning out the basement…you get the picture…and stopped just about half-way through ?  (Take a moment…can you think of an example?) What made you stop? 

HMMMMMMM!

Of course, it’s important to start, to take the first step.  But, getting off to the wrong start or a slow start shouldn’t justify abandoning a project.  I recently told a group that many a horse has won the Kentucky Derby out of the worst post-position and being last out of the gate. 

What matters is how we finish – THAT we finish. 

Don’t be deterred by bumps in the road; anticipate them.  Don’t be derailed by nay-sayers who, quite probably, don’t know enough about what it is you are doing to even have an (intelligent) opinion; they’re just playing it safe.

Don’t be discouraged if details become complicated, confusing, overwhelming.  Just take a moment and remember what it was that made you start in the first place.  Refocus.  Keep moving forward.  When necessary, start all over again.

For me the “Ides of March” means “half-time”.  It means there is as much time – and opportunity – ahead of me as there is behind me.  It means I get to catch my breath, refresh, pick myself up and continue to move forward.

“Half-time” means it’s exactly equal; I have as good a shot to succeed, to win, to make a difference, to touch the life of others as at any other time in my life.  What could be bad about that?  I’d take those odds any day.

Focus on the upside.  Only look back to realize how far you’ve come.  Look ahead to see how close you’re getting to the finish line. 

So, by all means, “note” the Ides of March, be “mindful” of them, and be happy when you reach the half-way point of anything.  Taking just one more step gets you closer to finishing than beginning.  It’s always about ONE MORE STEP.

So, IS it just me, or have the “ides” of life tapped you on your shoulder, too?  Of course they have!  They are reminding you that to keep living, to keep growing you must keep moving forward.  And so we do.

You’ll excuse me now,

I have to finish cleaning the basement.

Lean On

Is It Just ME, or are you, too, curious about Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, “Lean In”?

On just its second day, it has already been slammed – by women!

Categorized as a Feminist Manifesto, the book , which will become a best-seller, despite the negativity surrounding it - has me wondering…

First, let me say I haven’t read the book; not sure that I will.  What leaves me wondering is why Sheryl Sandberg is “being hated” (not my words!) for what the book represents and for the success story she is.
At 43, Ms. Sandberg has been named among “The Top 5 Most Powerful Women in the World (Forbes), almost reached bbbbbillionaire status, is raising two children…….come on girls, we’re talking “uber-successful” here.  Let’s show her some love.

The reaction to her book may actually prove the very point Sheryl (if I may be so familiar) is trying to make in the book.  WOMEN ARE TOUGH ON WOMEN…do I see lightbulbs….?  WOMEN FOCUS ON THE WRONG THINGS!

Why can’t we appreciate that she, and other dedicated, committed, talented, SMART women have proven “it” can be done – if we want it.  AND, if we don’t, don’t hate those who do and are working hard to be their own success story.

All the critics I have read are women! They are all slamming the book.  Does Sheryl Sandberg owe you – or anyone – anything? Does HER success diminish YOU in any way?  OR, is Ms. Sandberg correct in saying we (women) are more concerned about “being liked” (by other women) than in finding enough self-motivation so as not to need to care about such things. THEN, we use that very reason (subconsciously, of course) as the actual reason success is impossible for us to attain.

Come on, now, no authentic coin has two heads!

I may never meet Sheryl Sandberg, though I do hold-out the possibility of having the pleasure.  But, I like her; I really like her.  I appreciate that she has raised the bar, broken through the glass-ceiling  - use your catch-phrase of choice - and proven “it” is possible.  In so doing, we should appreciate the example she has set, the hope see provides, and the perspective that she generously shares.

Stop blaming others for what you haven’t done.  Be accountable.  Be proud of this – and other women – who reach the apex of their career, realize their dreams and support others in doing the same.  Stop being jealous!  It’s old, it’s been done and if you are still playing that card, you’ve proven that being jealous of another’s success does nothing to help you find your own.

Are we all destined to be billionaires?  No!

Are we all wired to run a major global company?  No!

Can we all realize “Amazonian” success?  Well, YES!  The possibility is there and we all have the right to define it as we choose  -  then go find it.

SO, how do you spell Amazonian?

We all also have the right to sit back, do nothing, criticize those who do, and find reason after reason to not even try.  Your choice!

Please, celebrate women who succeed.  Be happy for them; be proud of them.  Learn to “lean on” their success to find the path to your own.  There are so many women willing to help you arrive.  I think (and I hope) that’s what Ms. Sandberg was hoping to do: to motivate other women, to encourage them, and to generously share the path on which she traveled to find her success.

If you never read the book, fine, but, you might just want to give a copy of it to your daughter(s).
So, IS IT JUST ME – please say “NO”

Hey, Sheryl, call me. (Maybe?)

I want to say “thanks”!