Don’t take the bait…

Is it just ME, or do you, too, find yourself in jaw-dropping moments for what another has dared to say?

It could be the evening news, a conversation with a neighbor, a situation at work, during which someone so freely expresses an opinion, unsolicited mind you, and what was said was to be taken as fact.

Freedom of expression, gifted as a right, is to be cherished and used, not abused with reckless abandon to the benefit of one in favor of another.  That might actually be verbal bullying, which the world already has too much of.

Yes, everyone is entitled to an opinion but you shouldn’t expect the right to declare yours without being willing to hear those of others.  Play fair!

I think this is an area that men do better in than women.  They don’t get personal; they don’t think that hard – and that is not intended to sound mean – it’s a proven fact.  Men express themselves in ways that would be totally unacceptable for women to express themselves among each other, absent of what may be considered culturally acceptable.   Of course, we must remember there is a difference between being a woman and being a lady.  They need not be mutually exclusive, but sometimes are.  Sad!

Women should command a voice; not DEMAND one.  

Here’s a good rule of thumb…stick to the point.  Don’t flood your opinion from one category to another.  If you are attempting to engage in a conversation on a particular topic, stick to that topic..  Leaping from a business discussion to “getting personal” is bad form.  What that suggests to me is that the basis of the business side of the discussion had a shaky foundation or possibly imploded.  Switching from business to personal opinions of another – on a perusal basis – is just bad form; very bad form.

Women are tempted to do this.  It hurts the target; the offending party knows this.  It is meant to derail, to draw emotion from and to pull the offended party away from what the conversation was supposed to be about in the first place.  Stooping to the same level is actually what the offending party wants and it’s the last place you should go.

Staying poised is not always easy, but it is worth it in the end.  It is actually your greatest strength coming to bear when you need it most.

Have no doubt, the one who “went there” is well aware of it and attempting to deflect a thought.  Transference is written about in every Psych book and taught in every Psych class.  It is intriguing; to say the least, don’t take the bait! And yes, it is tempting…. but don’t take the bait.  Please, don’t take the bait! 

This is self-sabotaging and what many would say has held some women back.   We are all warned to be aware of the written word; the spoken word, too, when expressed with a sharp tongue cuts deeply – and it lingers.

Never fail to remember, that saying it doesn’t make it so.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too wish women would finally get past this urge, this need, this “acting like a girl” thing and treat each other with dignity and respect?

Discretion is the greater part of valor

“The Bard”, himself

And, yes, I understand this has given me the opportunity to express an opinion, my opinion.  Please feel free to express yours, as well.  Thank you.