Is it just ME, or do you, too, appreciate words of
wisdom from experts who get you back on the right track?
Today, I am sharing the wisdom of Mary Jane
Mapes and boy, is she right on target – as she always is…
Mary Jane describes the two sides of
leadership and the two sides of effective followers. There are always two side; it is a
partnership. Think of it this way:
If you are dancing to different
music, someone is going to get hurt, the pleasure of the experience is
diminished and you may not get a second chance to strike up the band. It makes sense to be on the same page, see
the vision the same, understand the desired results and land it; that’s the
sweetest music of all!
This is all about expectations, but,
perhaps, the best take-away from this is
the need for all parties to be accountable.
It is so easy to blame, accuse, pass-the-buck, call it what you
may.
Let Mary Jane share her story with you…
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Recently Dawn, video aficionado and recorder
for most of my online educational videos, helped me put together a speaker
demo video for meeting planners. She'd not done something like that
before, but felt confident she could do the job. I was excited.
We pulled out the latest couple of programs
I'd had video recorded for client audiences and viewed them, with me pointing
out clips that I thought we could use, while sharing with her the importance
of having some music to bring the whole thing together. Because
speeches, venues, and expectations are constantly changing, I didn't want to
invest thousands of dollars into a video that I'd just have to turn around
and change. So it seemed like a wise choice to have Dawn do it.
She took the video materials and equipment
home and put together what she thought was a wonderful video, and then sent
me the link for my approval before posting it "live". Viewing
it, I felt irritated. The finished product was not what I thought we'd talked
about. But I also knew that I had no one to blame but myself. I
simply had not taken the time to communicate my expectations to her in a way
that allowed her to clearly understand what it was I actually needed. So,
back to the drawing board--with time, energy, and money (not to mention high
hopes) wasted.
I should have known better. Having worked with
leaders as a consultant and executive coach over the past several decades, I
know that clear
expectations is a basic leadership competency - something I had
not provided Dawn (and the second of 5 mainstays of leadership trust -Character, Clarity, Consistency,
Commitment, and Contribution). Had I been less aware, I might have
chalked the incident up to Dawn's incompetency, her lack of listening skills,
and a flagrant disregard for what I was asking. Trust would have been
seriously affected and our relationship damaged. Fortunately, none of that
happened.
Accepting responsibility for less that stellar
results, I again sat down with Dawn and laid out exactly what I wanted.
We viewed samples of demos that more clearly indicated what I had in mind,
and she had a chance to ask questions (and question some of my requests). We
identified specific clips from my videos, marking the beginning and ending of
each clip. We identified the order for the clips, the words that would
indicate what the viewer would see, and how the music would be used. We
took time for discussion, making it possible for us to negotiate other
elements to be included. We cleared up anything that seemed confusing to Dawn
or to me, ending with the joy of knowing we were both in total agreement.
A couple of days later Dawn sent me another
link. This time it did not disappoint. In fact, we were thrilled! Why?
Because we had taken the time to thoroughly discuss expectations, validate
them, ask and answer questions, and negotiate elements with one another. This
time I did not assume that my expectations were clear - a major trust-buster
when results don't match.
As a leader, it's your job and responsibility
to clarify expectations so that you do not end up undermining trust and pointing
the finger of blame in the wrong direction.
Be your own best coach: To make sure you're providing clear
expectations (at work or at home), think of the last time you were
disappointed in the results you got - results that didn't match expectation -
and answer the following questions:
· Did you check with the other party to see if your communication had been
clear? Did you know what that person had understood from your
conversation?
· Did you ask the other person what they saw as their next step?
· Did you ask that person what you could do to make things clearer for him/her?
· Did the other person have a chance to express their own ideas and concerns?
· Was the work expectation going to be a win-win for both parties?
Remember: If you are not the one in charge, clear
expectations go both ways. Take responsibility every time for making
sure that you have all you need to fulfill on another's expectation of you.
But as a leader, that does not negate the fact that, ultimately, you are
responsible.
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So, IS it just me, or do you, too, better understand exactly what Mary Jane is teaching us
here?
If
you start ANY journey headed in the wrong direction, you’ll never reach your
destination in the most efficient and enjoyable way possible.
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