However long it takes…

Is it just Me, or do you, too, appreciate when others share – actually reveal – an inner thought an inner feeling?

The article, below, was shared with me by Cheryl Braxton, who generously asked me to share it with you.  I feel strongly that Cheryl is not alone on this.  In fact, I am quite certain Cheryl has more ‘friends’ than she imagines….

I AM WHO I AM

It may seem silly to some but I marvel at the sight of women gathering together enjoying some quality time.  Whether it is a book club on Friday night or the latest movie on a Saturday afternoon: having cocktails at their favorite night club or a group manicure or pedicure at their favorite spa: I think it must be pretty cool to have girlfriends to share your life with, to have them as your retreat from your regular day-to-day stuff wearing the many hats that we do. “I think,” because for all of my adult life, I have never been fortunate enough to be a part of a circle of girlfriends.  I've never been a Chatty Patty and held long conversations over the phone; I've never, on a regular basis, been in the company of several other women at one time: This had never been a part of my life style although there were times that I wished it were.  

My best girlfriend lives more than 200 miles away.  I see her just a few times a year and while I look forward to our daily chats on the phone, I never stay on too long.   I sometimes wonder if it’s me.  I mean, I like people so why don’t I have lots of friends.   I found that as I was growing older this had become a real issue for me, that is, my need to better understand the social me.  I've thought about it so much lately that I started researching into the matter.

  

I went as far as to ask my mom specific questions about my childhood behaviors; she had shared many things that I don’t ever remember talking about before.  She still had all my old report cards so I spent some time reading what the teachers had to say as well.

After all this and taking a good hard look at my present likes, dislikes and

what really makes me happy and who I am today, I have come to the conclusion

that I have spent most of my life as a square peg trying to fit into the

proverbial round hole.  I've been molded into living my life as an extrovert by the world I grew up in, but in retrospect it was never really me! 

I saw a brief interview with Susan Cain, the author of, Quiet: The Power of

Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (can’t wait to get my hands on the book) and finally feel validated!

I now understand why: As a little girl I could sit for hours playing alone with worms, ants and any type of bug and be totally content, why I had only one friend as a child and her name was Cheryl, too; why as a young woman growing up in the busy & over-crowded borough of the Bronx, I secretly thirsted for life in rural America, why even though I could hold a conversation with anyone at any given time, I have never been comfortable speaking to a crowd.  WHY I enjoy listening to “REAL” talk and not idle chatter especially not gossip, I find it such a waste of time, why on

my very first Caribbean cruise I had one suitcase just for my books, why I

prefer dinner with a couple of people listening to a live jazz band over a

concert hall with a crowd and why in this corporate world where team/group work is pushed so much, I prefer to work alone.   

I no longer have questions about who I am and why I don’t get the same enjoyment from running with the crowd, as some other women do, my best friend being one of them; talk about opposites attracting!   Now my only question is why it took me until 54 years old to figure it out!   There’s something about growing gracefully gray that prompts you to become truthful with yourself. Perhaps it’s because I feel I’m on the other side of my life cycle, my better side.  Perhaps it’s because it just takes too much out of me to be someone I’m not.  Or perhaps it’s, “just because’.  Whatever the case, I no longer have the need to pretend or to try to fit in. 

       

If you totally know who you are, I applaud you.  But if you have questions, like I did, and you are seeking the answers, I applaud you as well. Take the time to think about who you really are; doing so has made my life so much better!  For me this was a journey; for you it may be a sprint. However long it may take, ‘make it happen and let it be’!

I am who I am, and I’m finally glad about it!   

By Cheryl Braxton

So, IS it just me, or do you, too appreciate – even relate to what

Cheryl has shared?

BE who you are; be the best you can -  in that role.