YOU OLD-FASHIONED GIRL, YOU

Is it Just Me, or have you, too grown weary of spoken words and broken promises?

I used to think I was pretty “with-it” – you know, keeping up with the times, making the necessary changes here and there.  I’m starting to think I am really just an old-fashioned girl.  That is not an apology!

I was raised listening to the stories of senior folk (guess I just proved the old-fashioned thing!).  Deals were made with handshakes. Promises were kept; one’s word didn’t mean something – it meant everything.  You could only be as good as your word.  That was enough.

Today, things seem quite different.  Despite the benefit of technology and the ability to keep track of everything, we seem to be running on a significant deficit when it comes to keeping our word.  What a shame!

Remember the sayings, “Say what you mean and mean what you say”, “…walk your talk”,  “Do as I do; not as I say”?  (Oh, I AM old-fashioned!)

In speaking with so many wonderful women who have assumed leadership roles at home, in their communities, and in the workplace, I promise you this – no matter how “with-it” THEY are – and they are – they, too have a bit of good old-fashioned values in them.

 

Leadership requires the ability to make decisions, to keep commitments, to assure others that your word is bankable – in every sense - and that they are deserving of the rights and responsibilities of their roles.

There is so much I admire about women who go out of their way to network, to mentor others, to be reliable sources of information to and for others.  There is nothing I admire more than one whose word is still worth everything to them – THEIR word is everything to me.

So, IS it just me, or do you wish we could go forward by taking a step back to the values of just a couple of generations ago just to be able to shake another’s hand while not having to wonder if the other hand were in your pocket?

I’d take that journey; I give you my word on it!

You Don’t Have to be an Einstein…..

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, find great wisdom in this….?

Yesterday, I received an interesting e-mail; I am about to share the message with you..  It just makes so much sense and, more importantly, it empowers each of us to do something about making a difference. 

I don’t know what the genesis of this provocative statement was, but I understand why it’s resurfaced.

It’s been less than a month since the tragedy in a small Connecticut, USA town (Newtown) that ended the lives of 20 First-Graders and 6 members of the Sandy Hook Elementary School staff.

Just ten days before Christmas, this event made the holiday season a somber one for those following the day-to-day details.

Since then, we have celebrated the start of a new year.  New tragedies, sorrows, and natural disasters have filled the evening news reports and the pages of daily newspapers.  Yet, there are still 20 precious children and 6 outstanding education professionals whose loved ones still struggle to find a way to move forward in 2013.

The debate continues:  gun control vs. mental health vs. prescription drugs.

We may never know the reasons behind the too many senseless events that rattle families, neighborhoods, the global community.  We must not ignore the fact that something is very – very wrong in the world and that action must be taken and sooner than later.

Yes, Einstein, the world is a dangerous place!

Our most precious asset, our children remain at risk – they need a place to go – a safe place to be heard, validated, and helped.  While we hope that might be around the comfort and intimacy of the family dining table – as once it was – those days may never return.

In the meantime, what can we do?

I want to share the site that was sent to me yesterday.  It offers a confidential resource for children.  All I ask is that you share it; make the opportunity and the resource known to others.  Do whatever you can.  Without action, nothing will change.  We all can do a little something and children are depending on us.

Here is the link:  www.kidshelpphone.ca(Please note, there is a phone number on this site that might not be able to be reached from all calling areas, but the site will direct you further.  Thank you.)

So, IS it just me, or do you feel it’s time we all do little something?
  

For as Einstein also said,

  “The definition of insanity is to continue to do the same things

 and expect different results.”

The Year is Two-Thousand Thir-teaM – “M’ is for Mentor

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, look back and remember one teacher as your favorite?

For me, it was Mrs. Stanton.  I had her for Social Studies for two of my high school years.  As the years move on, I recall tidbits of information she shared as she leaned over her podium in her modest attire and not too fashionable hair-do.  I loved her.  As time goes on, I appreciate her more and more.

At the wake of the mother of a lifelong friend, I engaged in a conversation with a woman who happened to position herself nearby.  I learned she grew up in the same town as I.  I asked her maiden name; she said Stanton!

I asked her if “Mrs. Stanton” was her mother.  Duh, of course, Mrs. Stanton was her mother.  Pretty sure Mr. Stanton was her father, too!   But, I meant was she “my” Mrs. Stanton’s mother!  She said she was.

Somewhat true to form (for me!) I reacted with free-flowing tears!  Mrs. Stanton had passed-away not that many years before.  I never told her what she meant to me and how much I still thought of her and the fact that I learned so much from her.  So, I told her daughter.  She beamed and thanked me for sharing my feelings about her mom.   I felt good for that moment, but not really satisfied with it; not really proud of myself.

I suppose it’s safe – and fair – to say that every teacher we have ever had has been a mentor.  Mrs. Stanton was one of mine and I didn’t even know it.  That’s how easy mentorship can be.  Years later, that’s how meaningful mentorship can be.

January is Mentorship Month.

Mentorship is a personal development relationship in which a more experienced or knowledgeable person helps a less experienced or less knowledgeable person; it means to help others succeed.

May I suggest you find a mentor; become a mentor.  It demands nothing of you except to take interest in the experience or needs of another.  I believe we should all be wearing both hats at the same time (now, there’s a look!).  It’s what the saying ‘lift as you are lifted’ means.  It means to be paying it forward as you are paying it back.  It means to be important to someone else and to let them know they are important to you.

Regardless of station or stage of life, we can all use a mentor; we can all be a mentor.  We can all play a positive role in helping another succeed.  That makes us the most successful we can be.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, have a mentor who, long after the last bell rang, still lives in your heart and in your memories?  Sure you do; we all have a Mrs. Stanton.

              Would you believe, I can still remember the first word I wrote in my  

               Sophomore Social Studies notebook:  “Gondwanaland”!  Google it.

                                     It’s fascinating; just like Mrs. Stanton.

Who was that special teacher, coach, mentor in your life?  Please share.

Et tu, Dr. Oz?

Is it just ME, or are you, too, overwhelmed by all the weight loss info you are receiving, as always, at the New Year?

Now, I am receiving e-mail upon e-mail from “The Wizard” himself, Dr. Oz…..

Mehmet Cengiz Oz, also known as Dr. Oz, is a well-renowned cardiothoracic surgeon turned author and television celeb.  He grew into a household name after he first appeared on Oprah back in 2004.

I don’t follow him or the show to any great extent, but he seems to be following me.  At 6:31a.m. today, I received an e-mail about his latest  “miracle” (he said it!) weight loss cure from the good doctor; it was for green coffee.  At 8:58 a.m. today, I received the next e-mail; this time the “magic” pill, Carcinia Cambogia. (The one that arrived the week before Thanksgiving promised me a loss of 8 pounds within the week!  That was the Raspberry Ketones one.)

Helloooooooooooooooo; you are a doctor.  You know better; or at least you should. 

OK, here’s a few options from Dr. Oz’s recent list of weight loss remedies: Raspberry Ketones, Green Coffee, Kidney Beans, The 7-day Crash Diet (of course, that could mean you face-plant after 7 days of virtual starvation), the 7-day Cleanse (come on, now, call it what it is!).

I remember when doctors were reliable sources of information with a bit of “I” – for integrity – thrown in.  Now, it seems the “I” is – well, I, (me, mine)… the medically educated turned spokesperson.

Granted, I am being hard on the doctor. I am sure he has truly saved lives as a cardiothoracic surgeon.  For that, kudos, Dr. Oz.

There seems to be a trend and it doesn’t take a wizard to recognize it.  NFL Super Bowl MVPs are hawking mid-size affordable automobiles, Super Models are sharing their beauty secrets (finally and thank you), and TV-stars from years gone-by share that they are wearing diapers.

I guess it all “depends” (sorry - couldn’t resist) but my fear is that leaders in too many niches are becoming, not followers, but chasers – and they are chasing pay-day after pay-day at the expense of their admiring fans.

Coffee Beans!  I could swear doctors have been telling us to cut down. Now, it’s about cutting-up.   And if coffee beans are the “miracle” (again, his choice of words – or maybe scripted for him!), why do we need the “magic” from Southeast Asia.

Most troubling is that the good doctor tells us that finally, the secret to weight loss is revealed – and all without dieting or exercise.  OMG – it IS a “magical miracle”!!!!

Weight loss is neither miraculous nor magic; it is mathematical.  Actually it is also based on the fundamental basis of MIS (Management Information Systems):  INPUT = OUTPUT. 

Put a little less in your mouth and put out a bit more energy = weight management.  I don’t even have a medical degree; but, now I have a headache.  I better go have another piece of chocolate! 

As always, we each get to choose (see Blog of Wed. 11/28/12).

SO, is it just me, or are you, too, tired of being manipulated and made a fool of when it comes to weight loss?  Wouldn’t you rather be told the truth – about the truth?

I have to go take a brisk walk around the block to calm down!  Hey, wait – a brisk walk?  No, I’ll wait for the magic pill for that one, too.

Do-Over!

Is it just ME, or are you, too, excited about a new year?

Truth be told, I am happy to see 2012 end – and “12” was always my favorite number!

Don’t get me wrong; 2012 (must have) had (some) great moments and we do need to dig-deep and recall them.  Then celebrate them again in our minds, file them, move on, do better, or do over.

The too many and too cruel realities of 2012 are sadly easier to recall. Mother Nature, herself, wreaked havoc around the globe from floods in Australia, China, and Nepal, the earthquake in the Philippines, Superstorm Sandy in the U.S.  

Man’s inhumanity to man broke too many stories around the world including genocide, murder, bombings, and the senseless shootings of 20 students in Mubi, Nigeria as well as 20 children in Newtown, Connecticut, United States – with just 9 days to go until Christmas.  Still too tragic to wrap our heads and hearts around.

BUT, since the Mayan prediction about the end of the world did not occur on December 21, 2012, we get another chance to do a better job, to live more peacefully, to encourage and support one another.   We came together as a world community for 2 magnificent weeks in August for the 30^th Olympiad (there ‘ya go, a good 2012 memory!).  Can’t we transfer the same spirit beyond the fields of athletic competition?  Sure we can!

SO, as we close the book on one year, we open a new one; one yet to be written, to be lived.  How we do that is up to each of us; that alone is something to celebrate!  (“Choices”: 12/12/12) 

As a young student athlete, we had an expression: “Do-Over” when we didn’t like the outcome and needed to do it again to produce a better one!  Oh, that it could be that easy!

 

I think of that expression every year at this time as we face the challenge and the opportunity to “do-over” each day of a new year.  We typically approach is as resolutions.  Does that mean to “re-solve”, as in solve it again?  But if we already “solved” it………..

Resolutions often include exercising more, losing weight and relaxing on the weekend.  In this context, a resolution is a promise you make to yourself.   That’s fine, but by definition it is about doing for oneself.

Well, as I head toward a big birthday, I’ve made a big decision.  My resolution is about changing things that will have a direct influence on the lives of others – not just me!  Pretty grown up, don’t you think?

Do-overs are great but they are never guaranteed.  I’ve decided to do it right this year (or at least exhaust myself trying). I have been very inspired by the poem that follows (BTW: the same author in my previous Blog, “Mad Dash to the Finish Line” (12/21/12)  

I hope it inspires you, too; I believe there is a bit of each of us on at least one line of this poem.

Time of Your Life Do you reflect upon the years gone by as you prepare for yet one more, with promises and resolutions that you have made before? Do memories of people and places once as sharp as any knife now blend in bits and pieces in a kaleidoscope of life? Do you squander precious minutes seeking reasons why you're here,  contemplating your life's purpose year after passing year? Persuade yourself to understand, it matters not the reason. Your purpose is to seize the life in every passing season! Learn to see things differently. Let your thoughts and actions change. Allow your views of past and present to slowly rearrange. Let your spirit start anew; become focused and aware of the moments and the blessings that surround you everywhere! Do not permit past memories: the where…the who…the how to become more important than the ones you’re making now. Live life in person; inhabit every day. You may not like where you are now, but you’re there anyway! A lifetime is a puzzle, every failure, each success adds another jagged piece to fit together with the rest. To finish the picture and view the masterpiece whole, fill the time of your life with your heart and your soul. Acquaint yourself with your feelings and heighten your senses. Experience living. Put down your defenses. You don't have to know why you are you, and I’m me. Believe it is what it is and it’s how it should be. You did not choose your date of birth, nor do you know your last, so live this gift that is your present, before it becomes your past. Linda Ellis, copyright 2011

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, feeling inspired, moved to action? 

Let’s go girls: if we don’t do it, who will?

Let’s resolve to make the number “13” a lucky one, a blessed one, a promising one, a fulfilling one.

To you and yours, I wish you the best that life can offer,

opportunity around every corner,

 health, and great friends with whom to share it all.

Happy New Year!

Beth

MAD DASH TO THE FINISH LINE

Is it just ME, or do you ever ponder how you will be remembered?  Come on, now, I think we all do.
 

I read a poem years ago.  I loved it then.  I read it again just last week.  I think I love it even more.  (See what more distance in the rearview mirror does to a girl?)

I love it because it is so simple.  I love it because it provokes such thought.  Read it, won’t you?  I’ll see you at “the end”…Oh, my…at the end of the poem, I mean.  OR, perhaps at THE end, as well (which obviously didn’t come today as the Mayan calendar predicted – that means we all have  chance to do a better job!)

The Dash

by Linda Ellis, copyright 1996

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone, from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth. And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars…the house…the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real and always try to understand the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile, remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash… would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?

Hi, Beth, again…

WOW!  Did you love it, too?  Aren’t the words golden?

I’ve been blessed to know great women – great men, of course, as well.  I think of them often.  My Mom, for instance.  My Grandmothers.  Did they do great things?  Yes!  No!  Whatever!

They did things with great love.  The dashes that mark their graves are the lines between heaven and earth.  That would be enough for most women; it would be enough for me.  

Women want to be remembered for being a great mom, for being honest, fair, for having made a difference for others.  Are there any more noble legacies than these?  These are simple words. But, they are lofty accomplishments.  There are what lead women through their long days and short nights.

Make no mistake.  These words are spoken by presidents of companies, accomplished professionals, leaders in government, communities and not-for-profits.  They have paid it forward and they want to continue to pay it back.  In so doing, they WILL be remembered as great moms, for being honest, fair and for having made a difference in the world.

SO, IS it just me?  As you are “dashing” around today, give it some thought, won’t you?  Share your thoughts; they just might make a difference in the life of someone else.  That’s what it’s all about, right?

So, how do you want to be remembered?

 Please share…..Please comment.

I will not be posting any new Blogs until Wed, Jan 2, 2013.

On behalf of everyone at TheIWLA,

I wish you and  yours the very best of the holiday season

and may everything you are hoping for in 2013

be the least that you receive.

~Beth

IT CAN’T HAVE BEEN IN VAIN

Is it just me, or are you, too, desperately trying to find the message, the lesson in the Newtown shooting?

We all are; we all must.

In the few days since news broke of this tragedy, emotions have swelled, grief has been shared and disbelief expressed.

What next?

I have shared many thoughts and feelings with those I personally come in contact with regularly and whose perspectives and opinions I value.  But no-one has found the answer.

I have spoken to some who said they did not watch.  They didn’t want to hear the names or see the faces.  I  understand.

For my husband and me, we were glued.  We felt a type of responsibility to share the grief of this Rockwell-like community. We wanted to support them.  No-one’s right, no-one’s wrong.

SO, WHAT IS WRONG?

There seems to be two emerging schools of thought:  gun control and treatment of mental illness.

To those points, we are all right.

Mental illness has always brought with it a social stigma.  We have to have learned by now that ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.

I think it’s about lack; lack of understanding, lack of services, lack of the perfection we crave in every aspect of life, lack of our willingness to say that if one among us is broken, we are all broken, and that we are all in this – together.   It is as elementary as the theory of ‘only being as strong as the weakest link’.

We can’t cry hard enough for the families of the victims of Newtown.  To this specific moment of harsh reality in our history there truly are no words, but, perhaps that is the beginning.

WORDS!

There is nothing more powerful – and today more necessary – than to begin a dialogue, to begin to accept that the human condition brings with it moments of inhumanity – even to our precious children – and that not talking about it – or doing something about it means we are just waiting for it to happen again…and it will.  If it could happen to those amazing women and bright, beautiful children of Newtown, it could happen anywhere.

When Hilary Clinton’s book, “It Takes a Village” came out, I was not a fan of her theory. I believed that every child should find the values, the lessons, and love that life would require beneath his or her own roof.  I was one of those lucky ones.

I have always believed that children are loaned to us by God, they do not belong to us personally and that we are each   responsible to and for every child.  I guess Hilary was right.

Newtown, as Columbine, Aurora, and Virginia Tech will always be remembered on their anniversaries.  Memorials will endure the seasons.  Candles will glow.  Somehow, each of us will remember the name of at least one victim. But that is not enough.

If you know a parent who is, or you suspect, is struggling with a child the textbooks define as ‘not capable of properly dealing with the ordinary demands of life’, love that person enough to let her/him know they are not alone; they are not to blame. 

That may be the most courageous and generous thing any of us could ever do.  It is raw. It doesn’t get more personal. It is a risk worth taking and with greater hope of a better outcome than those who risked their own lives as they threw themselves into the path of a barrage of bullets to shield the students of Sandy Hook Elementary School. 

You will be every bit as great a hero.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, willing to believe that every child in this world is worth protecting- especially at the cost of our own feelings - because every child is our hope for a better tomorrow?

The dialogue can begin here and now; please share your thoughts and feelings…