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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

12 Steps to happiness…



Is it just Me, or do you, too wonder why some people always seems so happy and others are just so – well, not?

I think some of us are just wired to see the ‘head’ side of the coin in situations while others see the ‘tails’.

I’ve decided that, to some extent, happiness is a choice:  we can choose to see the more positive side of every situation or we can chose to see the negative side.

OK, put your thinking cap on…who do you know that – no matter what – keeps smiling, thinking positively and moving forward?

Are you blessed to know someone like this?

Now, who do you know who – no matter how blessed they seem to be, no matter how great their talents, their friends and family, just seem to always be miserable? 

Now, I’m not trying to superficially judge anyone or declare why I think they should be happy, or not; but  it  is cause to pause and wonder why, or why not.

I guess that’s why both optimist and pessimist are listed in the dictionary!

Based on the studies and observations of positivity psychologist, Sonja Lyubomirsky, and adapted from Jacob Sokol, here are the 12 things happy people do regularly:


1.       Happy people express gratitude. --   Basically, being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness. And that's without having to go out and buy anything. It makes sense. You’ll  have a hard time ever being happy if we aren't thankful for what we already have.

2.      Happy people cultivate optimism. -- Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism. No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the one who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it. She sees  what others may see as ‘failure’ as opportunity to grow and learn  new lessons from life. People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.


3.      Happy people avoid over-thinking and social comparison. -- Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous. If we're somehow ‘better’ than the person that we're comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority. If we're ‘worse’ than the person that we're comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we've done and dismiss all the progress that we've made. What I've found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn't stem from a healthy place. If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.

4.      Happy people practice acts of kindness. -- Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain. (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.) Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside.  Evenbetter, I that the party who is the beneficiary of the kindness benefits, too.

5.      Happy people nurture social relationships. -- The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Did you know studies show lonely people die younger?  There's a wonderful feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with. We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than just ourselves..

6.      Happy people develop strategies for coping. -- How you respond to the difficult moments is what shapes your character. Sometimes circumstances are beyond our control; it's inevitable. It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.

7.      Happy people learn to forgive. -- Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being. You see, your mind doesn't know the difference between past and present emotion. When you ‘hate’ someone, and you're continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are toxic for your well-being. You put yourself in a state of emotional negativity and it stays with you throughout your day.

8.      Happy people increase flow experiences. -- Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still. It's when you're so focused on what you're doing that you become one with the task. Action and awareness are merged. You're not hungry, sleepy, or emotional. You're just completely engaged in the activity that you're doing. Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.

9.      Happy people savor life's joys. -- Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy. It's easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life's enjoyable experiences. When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic. It's the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding  -  if we remember to fully experience them.

10.   Happy people commit to goals. -- Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force. Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to accomplish a task or fulfill a goal.. When you're fully committed to doing something, you have no choice but to do it.. Counter-intuitively, having no option -- where you can't change your mind -- subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of their purpose.

11.    Happy people practice spirituality. -- When we practice spirituality, or perhaps,  religion, we recognize that life is bigger than we are. We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever. It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists. Some of the most accomplished people I know feel that they're here doing work they're "called to do."

12.   Happy people take care of their body. -- Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be. If you don't have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected   Not only that, but here's the bonus... six months later, the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.


So, Is it just me, or are you, too, starting to better understand why some people “are just the way they are”; the way they chose to be?  Are you also seeing a bit of yourself – or lack thereof, in some of these points?  GREAT! Then you know where to begin to become a happier person.



On you mark, get set, GET HAPPY






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