Lessons Grandmothers Teach

Is it just Me – and I hope it isn’t, but do you, too, look back on the lessons taught by your Grandmother and grow to appreciate them more and more?

As I write, it is January 12, 2014.  Today marks 40 years since I lost my beloved Nanny Johnston; she was my Dad's Mother and a huge influence in the lives of many, many people blessed to have known her.

Born Elizabeth A. Culkin, Nanny was born in New York City, a fact she was more than proud of.  Both her parents had come to New York from Ireland, but Nanny always said she was American.

The second child in one of those typically large Irish families, Nanny was a young woman when her own Mother died.  Her older sister married shortly thereafter leaving Nanny to raise her younger brothers and sisters and care for the house.  She did so without a second thought and never complained about having to put her own life on hold until her siblings were able to fend for themselves.  

A woman of that generation, Nanny was older than the average bride and had her first of two children, my Dad, when she was almost thirty.  Her second child came 7 years later.

Nanny was often described as a nervous type.  I think what she worried about most was what more she could do to help anyone whose path crossed hers.  She was kind, gentle, intelligent, perhaps always older than her years and gifted with the ability to tell wonderful stories - all true, by the way, of her daily encounters and mishaps.  

It is probably fair to say she wore the pants in the family as she married he who has been described as the most patient  man in the world, Poppy Johnston, who I was not blessed  to ever know.  Poppy called Nanny Jim!  That tells you something!!

At her tallest, Nanny stood 5ft,, 2 inches, but her presence in the room made her seem stately, to say the least.  She could hold her own with the best of them, I never heard her say a cross word to any one and she had a sweet smile and contagious laugh that made her blue eyes disappear as she threw her head back.

Nanny wore signature pearls, winter and summer versions, a hint of red lipstick and a scent that gave off the slightest floral note, which I can still smell today. She was up early every day, attended the 6:30 am mass, except on Sundays (she went to Mass at 9a.m) and thought she watched the 10p.m. news; she nodded her way through!

We lovingly refer to "Little Nanny"  as a "character", and boy, was she ever!

In my youth, I would have said Nanny was an old-fashioned, somewhat superstitious Irish, excuse me, American, woman who represented many norms of her generation.  Now, I am not so sure.

Born in the 1800s, Nanny now seems to have been a women well ahead of her time.  She was confident, capable, generous, smart, giving.   She always knew the right thing to do in the moment and always - always  followed-up.  She paid attention to detail, had good habits, expected much of herself and demanded less form others..

If Elizabeth A. Culkin Johnston were born today, she would fit right in.  

She had everything it takes to be a woman of leadership; a woman who lived to make a difference for others and did it with purpose, passion and unconditional love. 

Nanny was. and would still be, a woman the world could use more of.  I was a huge fan of hers and, truth be told, she was a fan of mine.  She gave me credit for such things as stopping at EVERY stop sign!  She gave me meaningful thank you gifts such as flowering plants to grow a garden.  That's  wisdom!

In those gifts were lessons of gratitude, of commitment, of worthiness and acceptance.  Nanny influenced me in ways I cannot even explain.  I carry her essence, her sensibility and her sensitivity with me and every time someone calls me "Bethy" I believe it is to remind me she is still with me.

The joy of having a Grandmother, and I was blessed to have two - is hard to trump.   For those of you who are Grandmothers, know that you are a gift to your Grandchildren.  You are likely their first Mentor, their first advocate, as you love them no matter what and intervene on their behalf at all costs.  You share stories and secrets.  You teach; they learn.  Your bond cannot be broken - even after 40 years!

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, recall the love and the lessons only a Grandmother could teach?  I hope you are as blessed as I.

I love you Little Nanny

                                           Bethy xo