The Mother of all Mentors

Is it just ME, or do you, too, find the changing of the seasons an intriguing time to take in the wonder of nature?

A New Yorker, coming off a much more severe winter than usual, I, like millions have been teased by a day above 50 degrees Fahrenheit, a blast of sunshine on a windless afternoon just above freezing (believe me, we were grateful) and the early morning chirping of birds – a personal fav – only to be followed by wind, torrential rain, snow showers and sunless skies.

The calendar declares it to be Spring but the weather alleges otherwise.

This morning’s United States national news (Sunday, March 30, 2014) headlines included the aftermath of deadly mudslides in Washington State, an earthquake in California, fires in Iowa, deadly sink holes in Michigan and hundreds of souls yet unaccounted for somewhere – they think – off the coast of Australia and grieving families still hoping against hope….while unusually high waves, wind and fog make difficult recovery, let alone rescue.

Diverse though these stories may be, a single condition connects them all.  It is the human condition as it strives to cope with devastating conditions resulting from assorted personalities of Mother Nature. 

 

I have the habit of assessing situations and trying to find the message, the lesson we can take-away and learn from.  Here’s what I think…

Nature is, well…natural.   She is often indefinable, hard to understand, often misunderstood, too often underestimated and powerful beyond our ability to sometimes accept. 

She gives warmth and she can kill with her frosty bite.   She brings what seems dead back to life and inspires us to care for her offspring, over and over again. 

She is on the job 24/7/365 and she is ultimately reliable despite her intermittent challenges.  She encourages us to move forward as she inspires change and celebrates survival.

She is aptly named:  MOTHER Nature.  Who or what else could have such strength, such perseverance, such strength?  Who else would take the time to teach us what may be life’s greatest – and toughest - lessons?

Not even the changing of the seasons is guaranteed to go smoothly.  Mother Nature, herself, must fight to get the job done; she never surrenders.  She fights on until, within a short time, we forget the challenges we faced and get to participate in her newest gift, whatever the season may be.

That’s the lesson!

If endurance and working through the set-backs is good enough for Mother Nature, how can it not be good enough for you and for me, for anyone?  Through her very own example she demonstrates the challenges of daily trials and re-trials.

Under the worst of conditions, such as today’s headlines, she helps us dig deeper than we thought we ever could, she helps us see beyond the tip of our own nose and become part of a neighborhood and ultimately a global community.  That is when we are individually and collectively at our very best.

These are not easy lessons to learn, not easy circumstances to endure, but coming out on the other side is to feel the warmth of the Spring’s sun inside and out and that is the kind of warmth that will be there for you when you need it most.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, agree that Mother Nature IS the ultimate Mentor; indeed, THE ULTIMATE WOMAN?

A+

AIM HIGH

So, Is It Just ME, or do you, too, love a well-told story that makes a powerful point in a powerful way? Below, I share such a story, as told by Linda Mclean, a well-respected Life Coach who presents a simple scenario to drive home a poignant message…thank you, Linda. Keep Pressing On A famous mountain climbing resort in the Swiss Alps caters to businesses that encourage their employees to hike up the mountain trails together. The goal is to build camaraderie and to teach teamwork. Although it is about an eight hour trek to the summit, anyone in reasonably good shape can ascend to the top. In the morning, the hikers gather at the base of the mountain for a pep talk before starting the climb. Usually the group is so excited, they can hardly wait to head up the slopes, have a group picture taken, and celebrate the excitement of the journey they are embarking upon. They hike for several hours before taking a break. Approximately halfway up the mountain stands a quaint alpine restaurant. About noon, the weary hikers trudge into the restaurant, peel off their hiking gear, and plop down by the fireplace to have a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and eat their lunch. With the mountain as their backdrop, the hikers savor the warm, cozy, picturesque setting. Interestingly, after they are full and comfortable, fewer than half the hikers choose to continue climbing to the top of the mountain. It isn’t because they aren’t able; it isn’t because the climb suddenly appears too difficult. Their reluctance to continue is simply because they are satisfied with where they are. They’ve lost their drive to excel, to explore a new horizon, and to experience vistas they’d never previously imagined possible. They have tasted a bit of success, and they think it is good enough. Many times, we approach life a lot like those full and comfortable hikers sitting in the restaurant enjoying the view. We have a goal to break a bad habit, to lose some weight, or to pay off our credit cards. At first, we’re so excited. We’re fired up and we go after it! The first leg of the climb up the mountain is powered by enthusiasm for our new goal. But over time, we get lazy and complacent. Maybe we see a little improvement, but then we get comfortable right where we are. This might not be a bad place, but we know it’s not where we’re supposed to be. Like those hikers sitting in that quaint restaurant, we are still perfectly capable of craning our necks and looking up the mountain. We’re not stretching our faith or our potential and we know it. Maybe you own a business, and you’ve experienced a bit of success. Lately, however, you’ve been coasting. Or maybe you set out to lose 20 pounds, you lose 10, and feel like all is good and you get complacent. Don’t stop halfway just because it’s easy! Instead, remember what it is that you really, really want. Put out the effort and go the whole way… to the top of the mountain. Step out of your comfort zone today! Keep pursuing and keep believing. It doesn’t take any more effort to believe and stay filled with hope and faith than it does to develop a negative and defeated attitude. Get up every day and say, “This is going to be a great day! I believe my dreams are coming to pass. There are great things in store for me and everyone around me.” When you have that kind of attitude you are releasing God’s goodness. But it doesn’t come easily. People who see their dreams come to pass are people who have resolve and backbone. They are the ones who refuse to settle for the little victories along the way and see themselves at the finish line, instead continuing on, pushing on toward the ultimate goal. No one wants to be mediocre. You are made for so much more. Realize that what your mind focuses on, it can achieve. It is up to you. Pay attention only to those silent whispers within that say “You can do it!” So, IS it just me, or…point well made? Of course YOU CAN

Spring >>> FORWARD!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, find it all but unbelievable that the ‘new year’ is almost 25% behind us?

Hard to believe, but true!

So, how’s that been working for you?  Still honoring those resolutions,  crossing things off your list and, more importantly,  setting  new goals and adding them to the bottom?

I know, I know; the best laid plans of every new year are ‘oft found dwindling by this time of the year.

NOW HEAR THIS!   It’s OK!

Yes, you read that correctly; it’s OK.

Growth cannot and should not be tied to the afterglow of ushering-in a new year.  Growth comes not because of a date on the calendar but because we chose to  grow  –  then we make it happen.

On a global basis, I would say 2014 got off to a fairly dreadful start.  As wars are winding down, another may be on the brink of starting.  Hundreds of people have fallen from the sky to God only knows where.  Mother Nature has made her presence known and I, for one, am left wondering:  what is it that we are supposed to take-away from all of this?  What are the lessons we need to learn?

As a resident of the northeast Atlantic coast of the United States, a record-breaking – and for no good reasons – winter has just ended.  Historically cold temperatures and a ridiculous snow fall level makes the emerging Spring more welcome than usual.

Of course, many of you are on the opposite side of the seasons facing Autumn, perhaps the most beautiful season of all.  

For me, I am reminded: there is much we can control; there is much we cannot.

Ergo, it makes sense to control that which we can and be prepared to cope with what we cannot.  That combination will produce the best balanced outcomes.

There is no wrong time of the year to decide to take forward action, to stop procrastinating and finding new reasons ‘not to’.  There is no best time for the spirit within to move you toward action; it is always the wrong time to ignore that call, for that time may never come again.

Regardless of the date on the calendar, the season you are heading toward, or what has stalled you until this time, NOW is a great time, the BEST time, the RIGHT time, to decide, to move forward, to contribute to a world that so desperately needs all of us to do something to get this world back on a better track.

Everything matters, everything helps, everything makes a difference.  All that is required is listening to that voice from within; it may seem to have grown silent but is always willing to be awakened  -  again.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too see that every day can be day one of a new year followed by 364 more that move you, me and the world toward redemption.  It’s all worth it!

Happy New Year!

To win or not to lose; that is the question

Is it just ME, or did you, too, used to think that to win meant you had to come in first?

Thankfully, we grow up!

Time is a great teacher.  It subtly settles the arguments we have with ourselves, it answers the questions that even the experts cannot give us on demand, it heals, it nurtures, it puts things in to perspectives.

TIME!  Who knew?

Let’s get back to winning…

The world is, indeed, a competitive place. We are ranked, rated, seeded, evaluated.  We are told we need to be the best, the brightest, the most likely to succeed.  We are told to win, sometimes at all costs.

I wonder, then, what is the opposite of winning?  Logic would tell me it is ‘not to win’ and vice versa.

Time has taught me that ‘not to win’ means not to have tried.  Losing, on the hand means you may not have come in first but you tried.  Ergo, losing may not be as bad as we are sometimes made to feel.

The most decorated women in winter Olympic history is, now retired, speed-skater Bonnie Blair.  I think it would be fair to say Bonnie must have felt like a winner to have qualified to compete in her first games.  She finished far from first place.  She did, however, begin to build her legacy and competed in three consecutive Olympiads and took home 5 Gold medals:  a winner, by any definition.

Of winning, Bonnie Blair said, “You don’t have to come in first to win.” Hmmmm

So, just what does it take to be a winner?

Here’s how I see it:

            Beth’s Top Ten Things to do to Call Yourself a Winner

-         Be perseverant over persistent

-         Learn along the way

-         Don’t win at the expense of another

-         Believe in who you are, what you envision and why you envision it

-         Don’t compromise, but be willing to change course

-         Remember to appreciate those who we with you in the beginning and don’t forget them in the end

-         Put in an honest day’s work each and every day

-         Turn out the light at the end of that day knowing you gave it your all

-         Be willing to put your feet on the floor the next day willing to do even more

-         Stay true to yourself

We cannot all come in first place all the time, be we can all be winners every time.  The only way not to win is to not try or to give up too soon:  your choice.

So IS it just me, or do you, too believe Bonnie Blair is a winner on AND off the ice?

 I hope you rest well tonight; tomorrow is another day.

Treasure what you love

It is just ME, or do you, too, have a little secret that you’ve kept – or tried to – for years?

Oh, sure you do; we all do…I think!

I remember being at my Grandmother’s house; I was probably about 5.  Nanny had a beautiful collection of tea-cups and saucers. I’m not sure if I was allowed to help myself to one, but, I did.  Don’t you know…I dropped the saucer and it shattered.  I remember trying to hide it under what seemed to be a huge bed in an upstairs bedroom, but I was quickly found out.

I haven’t thought of that moment in many, many years, then, this sweet story crossed my desk and the memory came flooding back.

Please read this simple story and whether a vase, a saucer to a tea-cup, or something else, I hope a sweet memory floods your heart, as well…

A Parent’s Love for the Family Treasure There are all kinds of love. The passionate romantic love immortalized and often fantasized by poets and novelists; Platonic love among friends, the love of humanity preached by missionaries and ministers, the love of country, and even the love of our work. I’ve been fortunate to have experienced all of these forms but none has impressed me more than the deep, enduring and totally unselfish love I feel for my children. That’s why I “love” this parable. A 6-year-old girl I’ll call Sarah knocked over a display case that contained a much-cherished vase once owned by her great-grandmother. Her mom loved that vase and frequently referred to it as the family treasure. The vase hit the floor with a loud crash and shattered into pieces. Sarah, shocked and frightened at what she’d done, screamed and began sobbing. Her mom came running into the room fearing the worst. Seeing the shattered vase, her heart sank. Then she saw Sarah sitting on the floor wailing. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry, Mommy. I broke the family treasure!” Seeing despair on her daughter’s face, the mother’s heart plunged further. Faced with two powerful and conflicting instincts – one toward anger and blame, the other toward compassion and forgiveness, she sat next to Sarah, pulled her on her lap, and kissed her tears. “Sweetheart, when I ran in here, I was terrified that something bad had happened to our family’s most precious treasure. But thank God, you’re okay. Sarah, you are the family treasure.” Sarah’s mom turned what could have been a painful incident and a lifelong source of guilt into an enduring source of affirmation and worthiness. I wonder if I would have had the presence of mind to realize in the instant after an upsetting event that I could choose my reaction and that my choice would have a permanent impact on someone I love. The reaction of Sarah’s mom was nothing short of heroic and stands as a reminder that, even in the face of powerful emotions, we do have choices — and they really matter. Remember, character counts. So, IS it just me, or do you, too, wish to thank Michael Josephson for sharing this story and for reminding us what’s most important in life and as the saying goes life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to it. It’s good to think before reacting

When is it the right time?

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes find yourself putting things off – you know, waiting for the right time?

Let me get directly to the point: the right time, the best time, the only time is the here and the now.

Wonderful articles have been written trying to define, to capture the ‘right time’.  We’ve heard things such as: when the weather gets better, when the kids get older, when the house is clean (love that one!)…the list goes on.

As the list goes on, so does time; the clock keeps ticking.  Though you may not think you are watching it, it is watching you.  If you allow it to steal one precious second at a time, suddenly the hours turn into days, the days into weeks, the weeks into months.  The years drift by quickly enough; hold onto what you can, not by preserving time, but by using it.

The passage of time and the eventual end of it will come.  The only one who should be prepared for that is the soul moving forward; not those of us left behind.  If in those moments we are still contemplating how to slow it down, the preserve it, to hold onto it, rest assured you are letting it slip away; you do not get it back.

I am certainly one who believes there is never enough time with a loved one; it is never the right time to say good-bye, but that is because I am still here.  For those who have gone ahead, we must believe that for them, it was the right time and their job in this world was done.

Richard Bach put it this way:

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:

                              If you’re alive, it isn’t.

So, here we are.  That means we are supposed to be doing something!

During a recent conversation with a very bright and accomplished woman, she mentioned that she keeps hoping…

I stated back that hoping is certainly good; hope being one of the virtues, after all.  But, hoping is not enough.  Hoping, wishing, dreaming, waiting…none of that is enough. 

It has to be about the action we take that takes us from where we are to where we hope to be. Even in reaching that goal we remain hopeful; hoping we did it the best way possible, hoping we achieved the best possible outcomes, hoping we added value to the lives of others.  I’s the ‘ING’ thing at the end of words that means we are to put that thought, that wish into action  (the gerundic form of a noun; wow, where did that come from?)

Now, let’s get really real, shall we?

I get that it is not possible to live the ‘carpe diem’ life without consequence.  I also know that to just be alive is not to live.  As always, it’s about creating the balance – in the moment – that makes more things possible and that puts our time to its best use.

People often share their dreams, thoughts and feelings with me.  Too often they are followed by an “oh, well” as if to say “I surrender”, “I’m giving up on – myself!”.

Never, never, never give up on yourself unless you are willing to accept that everyone else will have the right to give up on you, too!  That may be the hardest thing you ask someone who loves and cares about you to do.

Toe the line, run the race, cross the finish line and when the time is right for you to slide into the hereafter, do it as legendary George Carlin said we should, yelling, “WOW, that was some ride” and you will know that that NOW is also the right time, the best time.

What matters is what we do between this now and that now.

NOW…go…LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH and every moment will be a WOW moment for you.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, resolved to capture the moment and make the best of each one of them.

NOW…go…do something fabulous

One step, one day, one woman at a time.

Is it just ME, or do you, too have to pause a moment to think about how you truly feel about statements, such as this, from Bishop Desmond Tutu….

Dear friends, We men have made a mess of things. I want a world run by women! I think we are beginning to realise that we cannot have a fair world, a peaceful world, when we exclude half the population. It is not right that a child of God should be condemned to a life that is less than full, just because she is a girl. Give her the power to become all she can be and her world – which is ours, too – will be transformed.

I certainly respect and appreciate the humility of this statement.  So too, do I admire what I take as public acknowledgment that which the world collectively holds to be true.

On this day, March 8, the world celebrates International Women’s Day; a day to celebrate how far women have come and to look forward to all we can and must still do.  Celebrated by women Heads of State in the grandest of venues, women who live in conditions hard to believe could still exist in 2014 and every possible scenario in between, this is, indeed a day women should be proud of.  The tradition of this day should be sustained, triumphed over and shared in the corners of even the most remote of places where women have yet to find their voices.

Beyond that, which we should take as nothing short of obvious, here is where I have a problem…..my opinion, nothing more…

The world is in the condition it is because of exclusion.  Women were excluded from decision-making positions for centuries; but not really!  Women always made decisions when it came to family matters, how money was spent, how the house was run.  From where I sit, we always  held positions of great power; we just weren’t permitted to transfer that ‘power’ to the masses.

So, men did.  So…here we all are!

I don’t believe men did a bad job; at least not on purpose.  I believe they did an incomplete job, at best.  That’s because women were excluded on the ‘public’ platform.  The imbalance, which was the natural by-product. Perpetuated too long, things got out of hand, the pendulum swung wildly and men, like Desmond Tutu, the Dali Lama, Warren Buffet, former United States President Jimmy Carter and others have been awakened to the notion that, as always, women can solve todays’ global problems.

Women have extraordinary contributions to make to today’s world’ she always has.  But to task her with its complete redemption is to cause the pendulum to swing as wildly in another direction that over time  will create a mess all its own.

I believe the solutions always has – and always will be – a world of inclusion.  Here’s why I believe this to be true…

At the core of civilization is the family structure.  When the family structure functions so as to identify and implement to best talents of each member, the strengths of individuals, it, the family, will automatically be stronger.

When family after family turns out in and among the masses, that strength will be exponential and everyone benefits.

Can you imagine a meritorious world?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful!

Brain-power over beauty, empowerment over entitlement, the right and the option to participate how you chose to participate, to feed, rather than be fed. 

Do I dare to dream too much?  

The 2014 Winter Olympics recently reminded us of the unifying power of sports.  Title 9 Laws make possible for girls in the United States to have equal rights: school budgets, scholarship, equipment, and recognition equal to that of their male counterparts; that’s a good thing and I believe it is a sign of things to come.

Given the same opportunity, girls can achieve as highly as boys in everything.  When that right is spread across and around the world and we approach politics, the rights to learn and equality to earn, we will automatically establish an inclusionary world.  From that will come balance, harmony, vertical perspectives and better outcomes.

My sincere hope is that International Women’s Day will continue until such time as it transitions to a historical day when we recall how the world used to be and celebrate how much better it has become.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, believe that a world that is inclusionary over exclusionary is a world that serves us all, for the right reasons and with more positive results?

To my family: Mom and Dad, all my brothers & sisters

 and my husband who encouraged and supported

me whenever I took the road less travelled.

Ebb and flow

Is it just ME, or have you, too, been hypnotized watching the ebb and flow at the water’s edge.

I’m blessed to live close to the ocean and able to observe its beauty on demand.

Watching the rhythm of the waves as they roll in and out and observing that, while there truly is a pattern, each effort made by the mightiest of waves or the gentlest of ripples, is unique.

Sometimes, the water splashes, sometimes it does not.

Sometimes it gently caresses the shore, sometimes it carves itself into the sand, taking some of it back to its open space.

Sometimes, the mark left is straight and easy to follow. Sometimes  it creates zigs and zags making walking its legacy next to impossible..

But always, it makes another attempt, as if to go a bit further, to leave more evidence of having been, and always knowing that it must retreat to gain its strength again.

It is mighty, powerful, relentless, perseverant, always present in one way, or another.

At times, it refreshes.  At times it instills a type of fear; better defined as respect.

In the reflection of the sky, it is every possible shade of blue; it invites.

In the night sky it seems to vanish, yet its strength is felt even more; respect for its power swells.

At dawn, its beauty returns.  Though night has come and gone it has not truly rested.  Rather, on another shore well beyond the horizon and under that sun, it is still licking the shore, sharing beauty, demanding wonder; always there.

Perhaps these are among the reasons the might sea is referred to as ‘she’!

Yes, that must be it; for the sea does possess all that women possess: strength, beauty, perseverance, omni-presence, as it were… always at work, always trying, always  leaving an impression.

What the ebb and flow of the ocean has taught me is that effort is worth it; the results will be what they will be based on that.  It has taught me the need to retreat, to re-group, to gather my strength and try again.  It has taught me that while some see a positive side, others may see a negative side.  It has taught me it is not for me to control; my task is to carry on.

As the sea can refresh or exhaust, nourish or deny, give life or take it, it teaches me that above all it will always be there.  How we use it is up to us.

So too is our time, our talent, our attention.  How we use all of our resources, our skills, our talents, will always be up to us.  But to think we will mean the same thing to everyone and for all the same reasons is to defy reason, purpose and passion and nature, itself.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too realize that just to be there is sometimes all that another requires of us,  it is sometimes the best we can do, it is sometimes the greatest  gift we give.

Till my soul is full of longing
For the secret of the sea,
And the heart of the great ocean
Sends a thrilling pulse through me.

Last verse from “Secret of the Sea”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow