Every day is a day to give thanks…

We in the United States are celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend; a wonderful American tradition dating back to 1621 when the English Colonists (Pilgrims) celebrated and shared their first harvest with members of the Wampanoag Tribe of Native Americans.

How wonderful that such diverse peoples could share a table 392 years ago; makes you wonder why we are called more civilized, more cultured today.  Hmmmmm.

I want to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to so many and for so much.

I am grateful to be a woman with a voice and to share time and space with others who work tirelessly to spread the vision and the mission of The International Women’s Leadership Association with women around the world.

I thank everyone who takes the time to read and comment on this blog and I encourage all women and girls to recognize their own calling, to move in the direction they are destined to and to support each other for the distance.

A simple “thanks” seems too small a gesture yet too often a word some never express, so, 

Thanks

THANKSTAKING

Is it just ME…. or do you feel the world of ginormous retailers is creating unnecessary frenzy with an early -ER start of “Black Friday”?

Remember when Thanksgiving was a day you looked forward  to because it was about family and some downtime?  I loved Thanksgiving for so many reasons. 

Primarily, it was because – by all degrees of comparison – it was a non-commercial holiday.  Other than grocery shopping it was the shopping-free holiday.  No gifts, no wrapping, no cards. Breath.  Enjoy.  Take off your shoes.  Relax.  Anticipate.  The Christmas Season starts …. tomorrow.

As a kid, I remember my Mom handing each of the six of us our “Christmas Club”  money. Yes, Christmastime was here!  Every week, Mom put one dollar into an account for each of us.  It was magical.  Come the day AFTER Thanksgiving, we began planning our shopping route.  We were natural born shoppers!  In those days, the process itself was as much fun as the actual gifting.  WOW, when was the last time I felt that way?

So, the announcements have been made.  Christmas will start on Thanksgiving – and earlier than ever.  Come on!  Can’t we have a traditional, dining room experience without the pressure of shopping?

But, is that the real pressure? 

Let’s examine the evidence….

BLACK FRIDAY; what does that mean?  The truth is that the big stores hope to “get into the black”.  The pressure is really on them – they are just making it our responsibility!  I’m all about the freedom of making money, but… how do you spell gluttony?  Can’t we just overeat and come back an hour later and pull out the leftovers?

And what about the store workers who are supposed to be over-the-moon about working on a major holiday – yes, Thanksgiving is a major (American)holiday. 

Were they polled about this?  Was it made an optional work day?  I don’t even think they’ll get overtime because so many of these retailers only hire part timers – just so they never have to pay O.T. or  paid sick days – OR HOLIDAYS!  (The reason, BTW, too many people have to find and hold-down 3 jobs – do the math Human Resources – it doesn’t make sense!)

Last year, I was shopping in Macy’s (we’ll deal with them later!)  I spotted a beautiful cashmere scarf for my husband.  It was $135.00.  It didn’t come home with me.  About a week later, it did!  70% OFF!  Yes!  Patience IS a virtue. 

That was MY BLACK DECEMBER  19!

If we buy into the Black Friday Propaganda, aren’t we encouraging retailers to keep taking more away from our beloved Thanksgiving?  An extra hour here; an extra hour there.  For what?  Do that many people really hate football?  Is an annual meal with Aunt Lil  just too hard to sit through? 

What about all the prep that goes into creating the most memorable meal of the year?  Will that soon be forgotten, as well? 

Some of my family’s favorite memories are of the after-conversations and activity around the dining room table.  We share those memories with the generation too young to remember the good-old days.  Their faces light up; they smile .  Guess what?  We are creating new memories; good memories.  Not memories about pushing, shoving, waiting on lines – we can do that any other days of the year.

So, I ask you, are you going to help guarantee that the likes of Walmart, K-Mart, Sears, Best Buy, …………, put a few bucks in the till or are you going to help guarantee that a great tradition continues and that Thanksgiving has a day all its own?

And Macy’s?  Don’t you want to be remembered as, hello, The Thanksgiving Day Parade store?  Are you going to rename it The Black Friday Day Parade?  Must you throw a sale after the parade? You’ll get my dollar – one day, or another, but not on Thanksgiving.

I also wonder where all the retail execs will be.  Are they pushing back from their feasts early and showing up for work on Thanksgiving, too.  I wonder (but, come on, I think we may already know that answer).

SO, IS it just me, or do you, too, want to tell the turkeys who make these decisions to stuff it?  

  

Do you think Thanksgiving should become Black Thursday, instead?  Please comment…

P.S.  And, Thanks for Giving all that you do; today and every other day.  For you alone give us cause to stop, celebrate, and declare a special day!

KEEP THE GIVING in THANKSGIVING!

Pink – the next power color!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes wonder what you might be doing and where you might be had you been born 20 years or more after you were born?

I decided a long time ago I never wanted to live with regret, pondering “what ifs”.  I’ve been blessed to experience varied   businesses and I have enjoyed them all.

Today’s young girls do have more options, more choices, more diverse career paths from which to choose than I did, though I offer no excuses for my own decisions.

“Lady” engineers, “women in aerospace” were virtually non-existent when I was a lass and still under-populated today, by all degrees of comparison to more typically female professions such as nursing and teaching. 

What might tomorrow be like for today’s young girls….take a look; this video says it all. 

 CLICK TO WATCH VIDEO

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, very excited about what the future holds for today’s young females?

Oh, yeah!

2 Score and a decade; eternity

Is it just ME, or are you, too, at a point in your life where you look back and recall, in extreme details, prolific, unforgettable moments in your life that, in one way, or another, changed you forever?

A rhetorical question, eh?

Moments such as realizing you were in the company of your true and lifelong partner, hearing the first cry of your newborn baby, accomplishing something you never imaged possible…these are such moments, and once experienced, c you are forever changed.

I wish you an abundance of such moments; may they all be glorious.

As an American woman, I cannot let this day, November 22, 2013, begin and end without sharing such a memory.  For it was on this day, fifty years ago, that John F. Kennedy, President of the United States, was assassinated.

That day changed the world.

This is not intended to be a history lesson; though there are countless lessons to be learned.  I make no political statement; I take no political position.   What the legacy of JKF may have been will never be known; history will forever treat him kindly.

What this is about is the young, soft-spoken woman, who at 34 years of age and the mother of two small children became a widow, yes,  but also, the backbone that held the United States of America together under the horrific burden it could neither imagine nor plan for, yet was forced to accept.

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis stood tall and from the depths of her being presented dignity, strength, focus and the resolve of what is means to be a woman of leadership.

Strength is born in every woman.  Until called upon, as in the case of the woman the world will always remember as “Jackie”, one may never know what she is capable of. 

Leadership is born in every woman.  Until called upon, as in the case of Jackie, theretofore known more for her fashion sense and unique beauty, one may never know she has.   

                                                                                       

Circumstances in today’s world challenge us regularly.  They need not be, and I pray they will never be, so iconic as to parallel the events of fifty years ago.  Their presence, and sometimes their overwhelming forbearance over the course of time,  still call upon women of today to stand tall, to present with dignity, to focus and to show resolve; just as Jackie did.

Countless editions line the shelves of book stores and libraries around the world telling Jackie’s story.  In many ways it is the story of every woman.  She is a woman worth knowing; she is a woman who intrigues generation .

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis was laid to rest at The United States National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia.  She is beside President Kennedy, the man she always stood next to, or behind.   She is beneath the glow of the eternal flame; her light will continue to glow.

So on this historic day, I honor

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis

a woman of outstanding leadership

Great expectations

Is it just ME, or do you, too, wonder why some among us are so driven and others are, well, not?

Former US First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson (President Lyndon B. Johnson, 1963 - 1969) wrote that what is expected of children is likely what will be achieved by those children.  Wow!

As we were all children ‘once upon a time’, it is interesting to glance in the rearview mirror and visit times in our own lives when what was expected of us was all, or everything, we were willing to aspire to.

Wishing I knew then what I know – or don’t know – now, raises my antenna a bit; what about yours?

I think of children accessed by standard exams or, perhaps, more subjectively, by educators or coaches who come in to their lives at impressionable, early stages.  We hear of children defined as a result of comparison to other children, some medicated, some given less attention than others because they are deemed less capable.  Less is expected of them.  How easy for such a label to become permanently attached - and worn on the outside. 

Has anyone never heard of a late-bloomer?  Have we not heard of professional athletes who were cut from high school teams only to become college superstars. It happens!

There are many lessons Lady Bird’s opinion offers…

The obvious one is to never give up on a child.  The challenge is to continue to support, motivate, validate and honor the individuality of who they are; not who others think they are not or could never be. In what it is that distinguishes them from the “average” or “normal” child is exactly what could be their greatest gift - a gift the world needs.

Is it fair to say that once pigeonholed there is no way out?  No, I do not think so.

At every given moment and with each breath it is within each of us to decide to change.  There is within the capacity of the human spirit such strength and energy to reach beyond what we thought was possible yesterday.

Another great quote, and I am paraphrasing, is that another person’s opinion of you is none of your business.  I love that!

Here’s where I am going…reach out to someone and encourage that person to be everything that is possible within his/her realm of being…but don’t wait for someone to play that role in your life…just believe in yourself, more than anyone else ever has, and know that if you want it badly enough and for all the right reasons, it is possible; you can do it.

Can you even begin to imagine the mentor, the role model, the parent you could be to a child who hasn’t reached that moment in his/her own life yet?  Be that gift to a child.

To settle into a life of mediocrity or complacency because others expected and imagined that’s all you could ever do, is fulfilling their belief – not yours.  You get to decide for yourself and it is never too late to change.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, dusting off dreams that others told you were beyond your ability to make come true and deciding you are worthy, you are capable and everything is possible?

Have great expectations.

Time and Energy

Is it just ME, or are you, too, curious about the best use of your time and energy?

Somewhat a mathematical soul, I often “break-it-down” so as to analyze: time and energy are a great example.

Most things perceived to  be of significant value in one’s life make that person willing to devote significant time and energy in that direction.  Another, with indefinably less interest in the same area would not so willing to make the same investment.  Makes sense!

On that point, let’s agree to agree, shall we?

Now, let’s look at time and energy as components of an equation (back to the math!).  Here’s how I see it:

Time + Energy = Outcome

How much time; how much energy?

What type of time; what type of energy?

Therein lies the difference; therein lies the difference in the type of outcome you should expect to have; that you deserve to have.

I recall an early M-W-F class as a college Sophomore:  Management Information Systems (MIS).  Aside from not always getting to that class on time, the Professor was, well – boring!

I remember sitting in that class, still wiping sleep from my eyes wondering how MIS was going to impact my life?  Why had I chosen this course – and at 8am?

All these years later, I look back and realize how often MIS pops into my life and yours, I am quite sure, even if you are not aware of it.  WOW, what could have been had the class been at 10 or 11!  Basically, it’s input = output.  (MATH!)

And so it goes in life…we get out of it what we put into it – at least in the overwhelming percentages of cases.

Let’s get back to my Time + Energy = Outcome equation.

Granted, we all dreams; we should; we must.  For in that thought pattern, in that visualization, is the genesis of an invention; it starts as a thought.  Taking TIME to develop thoughts is what makes dreams come true; and they really, really can!!

Now comes the ENERGY…taking a lifetime to think about something will never make it come true; you must give it some energy (action) for a thought to develop, for a dream to become reality.

That brings us to OUTCOME.

Q and A about to begin…..

How much time are you willing to invest in YOU and YOUR dream?

How will you know when it’s enough time?

How much work are you willing to do?

How much work are you not willing to do or pass on to others?

What outcome are you hoping for?

What sacrifices are you willing to make to achieve desired outcome?

What outcome are you willing to live with?

Let’s be clear…you get to choose…you always get to choose.  BUT, you

must be willing to live with the choices you make; you must be willing to accept the outcome you get based on those choices.    Fair?    Fair!

If I may, may I strongly suggest that you know what it is you want – and, by all means, dare to dream big!  Then determine what you want the result to be…I know, I know…I jumped from the Alpha to the Omega.

That’s it!  Know what you want from the beginning of the thought to the actualization of it and be willing to take the TIME and ENERGY required – by YOU – to connect those dots to achieve the desired outcome.

MIS, in a nutshell …

Bad Input: perhaps not enough time and/or the wrong energy (negativity) = Bad Output: disappointing outcome

Good input: sufficient, well-spent time and positive energy 

= Good Output: satisfying outcome.

Again, you choose, so choose wisely, for TIME is Fleeting and, on day, each of us will all run out of ENERGY;  it’s what we do between here and there that will make all the difference.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too suddenly remembering all those courses and classes of yesteryear you thought you would never  need?

8 am; what was I thinking?

Anyway, thanks for taking the

time and energy to read my blog!

Be grateful – aloud!

Is it just ME, or are you, too, sometimes stopped dead in your tracks by news stories?

As I write, it is November 11, 2013; Veteran’s Day in the United States; Remembrance Day in Canada.

For much of yesterday and on today’s morning news, stories of Veterans have been highlighted in ads, football games and as leading news stories – and rightfully so.

My favorite stories are of today’s service men and women as they  arrive home to surprise their partners and children; they never get old!

I am dismayed by the stories of service personnel returning to find themselves homeless, broke and alone.  I am overwhelmed with sadness to hear the stories of the wounded who must find a way to assimilate into society after horrific injury to the bodies and/or their psyches.

I am also extremely grateful to these same persons who remind us that we are blessed to do what we get to do each day because of what do each and every day.  Please don’t think I am comparing my day-to-day to that of anyone in service; I am neither that bold, nor foolhardy!

An annual parade down New York’s storied Fifth Avenue, streets lined with admiring patriots, countrymen waiving flags are all, indeed,  good things.  Let us remember the service and the sacrifice of military personnel everywhere every time WE have the freedom to walk down any avenue, to express our feelings about anything and everything and that the red on the flag of the United States of America represents generations of men and women who sacrificed everything.  They are those who have given me the freedom to write this today.

I am not alone, neither as an American, nor as a woman to know that blessings come at a very high cost and represent a debt that can never be repaid.  The most amazing thing is that those who serve their country – any country – have not asked to be repaid.  Respect, however, should be a given. Respect must be given to every service person and to their families; it should not be reserved for a once a year commercialization of what it truly means to have served.

A wonderful quote came across my desk today…

Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.

                                                                                                                   ~Gertrude Stein

As with love, gratitude must be expressed; it must be given in order to be received. 

So, IS it just me, or can you, too, think of a moment you would like to have back to say, “I love you”, or “Thank you” just one more time?  Wouldn’t we be foolish to pass up another opportunity?

Say it; show it, shout it! 

A bright light, indeed!

Today’s blog is a bit different, as I share the thoughts, words and visions of TheIWLA member Ekaterina Arnaoutova…

The Light Within

A moment before getting onstage, when the crowds are waiting, something special happens. Something that makes my heart beat faster, that makes my whole body tingle, a feeling of excitement suddenly seizes me.

It's hard to measure success sometimes; for some it's money, for others fame, or maybe winning a gold medal, but if success is linked to happiness, then you must ask yourself what really makes you happy as an individual, and as a person?  Are you following a predetermined path laid by your family, your friends, or society? Do you feel as if you're always answering the needs of others rather that listening to your own desires? It's not easy to always indulge yourself with everything you might possibly wish for, but if you take a step back, look at yourself from a distance, how would you qualify your own success? Do you feel like you are happy, or just satisfied?

Ever since the age of two, happiness was putting on a costume, going onstage, and performing to a crowd of thousands. Hearing them hold their breath in anticipation, laughing, screaming, and roaring with applause is where I found myself to be in complete bliss. This feeling of deep satisfaction, of pride, and belonging is my treasure at the end of the rainbow. Suddenly, I forget about all the sacrifices I've made to be where I am; all the hours of sweat, pain, and tears. Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Today, having spent over 28 years onstage, traveled the world, and shared my art with millions; I wish to inspire others to find their own light within. It takes a lot of courage to be able to open yourself up, to be vulnerable, to expel this energy hidden deep within ourselves, to break down walls, obstacles, and fears.
Knowing what to hold onto, finding the right communication skills, and creating a balance of the power in the mind of the beholder are key elements.

"To achieve success, you must want it as much as you need to breathe."

I have been in the entertainment business all my life. Born as third generation in a family of renowned Russian circus acrobats, I have been performing ever since I knew how to walk. I learned the hard way, what it meant to breath, how crucial it actually is to respire, and how far it will take you. In my world, you have to make sure that's it's the audience's role to hold their breath, not yours. Learning how to breathe through tricks, flights, and feats, is an art form in itself. I think that this applies to anything in life: when you breathe, you take the time to make better decisions, which consequently lead you to better achievements.

In order to fulfill your desires, you must know what you’re aiming for: to want it as much as you would need air. When I'm training to achieve a new trick, soaring in the air and defying gravity, I have to make sure that I can consistently accomplish this sequence many times in a row. Over and over again, the same feat, through bruises, blood, and tears, over and over again. When I get to a point where I feel like I'm completely exhausted and I can't do it anymore, that is when it becomes primal to do it again. One last time, with all the reserve power within, because once you can do that, you know that you've broken through your wall, refined your abilities, and created true strength.

For me, when I hear applause at the end of my act, when I get a standing ovation, when I hear audiences cheering and screaming, when I see tears of joy rolling down people’s faces, that's when I know I've succeeded. Being able to reach and touch my audience emotionally is food to my soul. That's what makes me happy.  I wish that you can find your project, goal, or dream and act upon it. Who we are is defined by our own desires, ambitions, and destinies. We are all individuals, and we must search for our own light within and our inner potential as either woman or man.

                              

Thank you, Ekaterina; beautiful.

Keep your light shining brightly.

The last 26.2 miles….

Is it just me, or are you, too, blown away by stories of extraordinary accomplishments of people you wish you were blessed to know?

Last Sunday, November 3, 2013, the world’s largest marathon was run in New York City.  That’s MY city!

This year’s race was particularly special for a number of reasons.  In addition to perfect running conditions, 48,000 runners and the streets of the 5 boroughs that are New York City lined with record-breaking  crowds offering support to the runners, this year’s race meant more than ever.

Last year’s NYC Marathon was cancelled.  Mother Nature had sent Super Storm Sandy on a marathon of her own.  She too had visited the 5 boroughs as well as the Jersey Shore, Long Island (that’s MY ISLAND!) as well as surrounding Metro areas.   We were in a race of a different sort: to save homes, treasures…lives.

Many are still running THAT race; we are all winners!

After New York, all eyes were set on Boston.  On another beautiful day for a Marathon another disaster struck.  It wasn’t Mother Nature.  In fact, it seemed to be the antithesis of anything that could be defined as natural.  On that day, terrorism struck devastating a country, a city, a community, families, individuals.

We are still fighting THAT battle; we will be winners!

So, November 3, 2013 was about more than world-class athletes  and recreational heroes,  It was about spirit, survival, destiny and humanity.  It was a good day.

That day was special for another reason.  For on that beautiful Sunday and for  more than 8 hours, 86 year old Joy Johnson of California, USA, became the oldest woman to compete in a 26.2 mile marathon.  She competed along with her 83  year old sister – there is nothing like a sister.  Others around her competed in the greatness of this woman aptly named “Joy” – and wasn’t she just!

Somewhere in the 20th mile, Joy slipped and bumped her head.  She declined medical attention and was determined to finish her race.   The next day, she appeared on a National Talk Show with Al Roker to “show-off” her medal; that was her goal. 

Joy Johnson died just several hours later.

The legacy of this beautiful spirit, this outstanding example of determination, this brilliant living-definition of what it means to have a passion and to put it in motion will live forever.  Joy Johnson will inspire others who may never know her name, never really know what it took to do what she did; they just know that she proved what is possible when you have a vision, see the goal and take action to reach it.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too , want to strive to find  some form of “joy” in your heart that can be put in to action, that can inspire others, that can go the distance and in the end create a great legacy of your own?

         That’s a race worth running!

The Wall

Is it just ME, or do you, too sometimes feel as though you’ve hit “the wall” – or that the wall has hit you?

Something tells me I am not alone.  In fact, many of you have told me I am not alone; I am in good company.

So, what is this wall?  What is this force that seems to have power over us to such a degree that it stops us in our tracks?

I believe the answer to that question is a four-letter word!!  It’s  L – I – F - E;  it happens and not always when we feel most able to deal with it, to handle it, to get on with it.

Recent conversations and circumstances remind me that it is in these very moments that we must call upon ourselves and dig deep inside ourselves so as to come out on the other side and get past that wall.

I am one to want to understand the “why” of moments such as these.  In some cases, the whys are so obtuse they explain themselves.  In other moments, they seem more subtle, though no less challenging or threatening.

Among the many life lessons my Mother taught me was that the rear-view mirror explains everything.  What’s important is to stay in the present, to keep moving and to move past the wall by climbing over it or going around it.  Most importantly, don’t just stare at it; for it is staring back and in that glance may come doubt, fear or over-thinking.

When the dust settles and your focus sharpens, you will remember your “why” and if it is strong enough you will easily reduce that wall to tiny pieces that raise it to the ground.  Then, you can keep moving forward.

These days, it seems that many give up too easily when things don’t go as easily as one would hope or wish.  WOW!  If easy facilitation were the most urgent motivator, think of all the wonderful things that have been accomplished that would have been given up on!  Remember your “why”, keep your goals in sight, be prepared to do some demolition along the way; you will conquer the thickest of walls. 

   

So, IS it just me, or do you, too feel up to some “wall climbing”. 

Climb…climb…climb

Dreams really do come true…

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes day dream and imagine what could be?

I believe in dreams.  I believe dreams begin as thoughts.  Often unconscious, these thoughts become more powerful than the thoughts we are consciously aware of.

I believe dreams are pathways to our own destiny; they are the root of actualization.  They are not only inspiring; they are inspired.

Today, and in the company of amazing women and with the support of countless others, I am blessed to have another dream actualized as TheIWLA begins a new day, a new month, a new phase, in a new home.

As in most cases, moving is a twice-edged sword.  There is the excitement of planning and visualizing (dreaming!!) of what a new office will look like, where it will be, how it will function, how it will help TheIWLA to serve more effectively.

Then, there is the angst of worrying if all the decisions already made were the right ones, the best ones.  There is the work of packing, cleaning-up , followed by unpacking and setting up.

In addition to the power of dreams, I also believe that when you believe in and with all your heart that you are fulfilling your life’s plan and being blessed by sharing your blessings…all the work in the world is well worth it! 

When you believe that you are doing all the right things and for all the right reasons, the burden of ‘work’ is lessened by the sense of accomplishment.

To all the women of TheIWLA who believe that we are the agents of change, influencers in today’s world, and for all the better, brighter tomorrows we hope for our children, thank you for doing the work you do so selflessly, so passionately and with such resolve. 


I KNOW IT’S NOT JUST ME!  I know that all people understand the power, the potential and the perseverance of women everywhere, for each to rise to her personal level of greatness and in so doing be part of something that truly is greater than any of us can be alone.

It is who we are; it is what we do…we are TheIWLA!

Dare to dream.  I did.

Thank you.