Why Didn’t I Think of That?

Is It Just ME, or do you, too, get excited when someone shares a great new idea with you?

I had a conference call with a member of The International Women’s Leadership Association (TheIWLA) and two of her business associates today and was my heart pumping!

Now, I am not going to share the details with you – yet!, but I will tell you that what they shared with me only made me wish I had thought of it first.

Women are always coming up with great ideas: practical, functional, intelligent ideas that often go nowhere.  Now, that’s not based on the merits of the idea, itself, but on the challenges of what it takes to move an idea from just that to its deserved destiny.  Hmmmmm.

Well, in a very short time, I am going to bring you details on an amazing opportunity to take your idea to market – and you don’t even have to tangle with any sharks!

A group of creative geniuses are about to introduce the most exciting idea I’ve heard in a long time and I am thrilled that they have put me on the inside track.

Here’s what I want you to do…put your thinking cap on and start writing down every idea that comes into your mind; don’t stop to think about it too long – just get on to the next idea.   Once you focus, you just may be amazed at what floods your mind.

Challenge yourself.  Be bold.  Keep thinking.

Then, watch for updates.  Send me your comments, your questions…

So, IS it just me, or are ideas starting to come to mind before you can even write them down? 

This could be the start of something BIG!

She’s Baaaaaaaack!

Is it just ME, (and I KNOW it’s not!) or are you, too, just so happy that Robin Roberts was able to rejoin the gang of Good Morning America (ABC News, USA)?

I am a big fan of Robin’s.  I view her as a pro in every sense of the word.  She knows her business and she gets the job done without ever making it about herself.

I love that she is a family-person, that she speaks lovingly and respectfully of others and that she never generates controversy.

I admire Robin because of her courage in the face of adversity and that she sees what challenges her in life as opportunity to grow as a person.

I think we all care about Robin because she cares.

As a breast cancer survivor, Robin taught us about resilience and acceptance.  As a result of triumph over cancer, Robin was stricken with an even more rare disease for which there were fewer options, fewer case studies, and fewer survivors.

Five months to the day of a bone marrow transplant, Robin was back at the desk of the popular morning show looking a little thinner than usual – which only made her smile appear bigger! 

Despite the ongoing media-hype in anticipation of her return, Robin is really just the “poster-child” of the real story – and I am confident Robin would be the first to agree…this isn’t just about Robin.

This is a story of the power of people coming together; uniting to become a force that none of us has the power to be alone.  This is about the need to share information and the power of the result of doing so.  This is about humanity at its greatest depth and highest height – this is about what is possible.  It’s about learning that precious few things are impossible - if the why is strong enough.

While Robin has been genuinely sincere in thanking all her well-wishers, the medical professionals that joined “Team Robin”, her family, friends, colleagues – and very importantly – her faith, I think this is really about us thanking her.

From her hospital room and in her fussy slippers, Robin faced cameras just as she does after hair and makeup but with a bald head, a scrubbed face, circles under her eyes, thinner, and with a weaker voice.  This is the definition of humility and raw honesty.  Who wouldn’t admire that?

What never diminished was Robin’s hope that her outcomes would be as favorable as they are proving to be.  What never diminished was her will to get through another day.  What never diminished was that this journey would not be one made in vain; she waged the war for many and her trials will help others survive more easily in the future.  In fact, it’s already happening.  The exposure of her condition has educated others, encouraged countless people to volunteer to become donors, matches have been made, and strangers are saving the lives of other strangers. 

I told you I was a Robin fan!

Equally so, I am a fan of anyone who never surrenders because it’s just the easier thing to do.  I am a fan of faith and hope.  I am a fan of triumph over trial. I am a fan of every possibility that makes any situation a better one for as many people as possible.  I am a fan of never giving up.  I am fan of exhausting options and then coming up with new ones.  I am a fan of fighting the good fight.

That’s why I am a fan of Robin Roberts! That’s why I am a fan of Robin Robert’s fans!  They have come together because they saw the opportunity to do something that would be good for another.  What a notion, eh?

I am a fan of Robin’s sister, Sally, who was her donor.  It took the two of them and an arsenal of medical professionals to see this through – and so they have. 

I hope that very few people – and no others that I know and love – face a crisis as Robin did.  I do hope that many – including those that I know and love – accept the opportunity to become a donor, a volunteer, a cheerleader for those who need to know you care.  In so doing, you gift yourself more than you can ever humanly gift another – because you did something.  You loved enough!

So, IS it just me, or are you, too,  deciding what it is that you have been blessed with that you can share with the world – or even just one other person?

“Take the mess and become the messenger”

The wise and inspiring words of Robin’s Beloved Mother

From the Mouths of Babes

Is it just ME, or do you, also marvel at the wisdom of the young?

My Dad once said, “Youth is wasted on the young.”  What he meant by that was that one can chose to be “young at heart” (one of his favorite songs; and mine!) at any age; youthfulness is a spirit, an attitude.

He also believed that young people are worth listening to; right again, Dear Old Dad! 

Of that he would say, “…from the mouths of babes”, a phrase I lovingly credited to him; one that he shared with Ghandi!

 

They were both right.

These thoughts flooded my mind and heart recently as I read a story of a 4-year old little girl, Arianna Joy Rodriguez.  Now, the two words I think should never be used in the same sentence are children and cancer.  Sadly, little Arianna, is the story of a precious child who is undergoing chemotherapy for yet a second time.   

My prayers and thoughts to you and your family, Little One.

What do we have the right to expect of any 4-year old child?  NOTHING, except that they bring joy and love to those around them, that they listen more than they don’t, that they learn to share, and that they see a world with limitless possibility. 

What do we have the right to expect of Arianna?  NOTHING, except to hope that she trusts, that she tries, and somehow, still puts smiles on the faces of others around her.

That’s a lot to expect of anyone – at any age, don’t you think?  I do.!

Would you ever expect that this child, who is challenged beyond any adult’s ability to reason “why”, would be the source of strength to those very same people? 

Perhaps best defined by her middle name, “Joy”, Arianna manages to do just that and so much more.

Though Arianna faces another round of chemo, she experiences a sense of safety in the playroom at the hospital; the very place that would scare most of us.  A special child, indeed.

Arianna has decided she wants other children to be happy in that room, too, so much so that her family has created a not-for-profit, Hope in Joy, to provide gifts of toys, furniture, electronics, even a fish tank!  You go Arianna!  Be the beacon of hope for other children and lead by example.  You were born to lead and so you do – even at the tender age of 4!  You have proven leadership is not defined by age.

The potential for greatness is born in all of us; it must be embraced and the “why” attached to it.  If your why is big enough, no challenge can diminish it, no stone in your path can be too big so as to cause you to waver from it – if the “why” is big enough.

So what’s Arianna Joy Rodriguez’s “why”?   She said it best herself: “Never give up.  Every good thing that can happen will happen”.  That, dear child, is a lesson that takes most of us a lifetime to learn; thank you for teaching us.

     

Yes, “…from the mouths of babes….”

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, see that wisdom is born in each of us?  We just need to be smart enough to listen – even to children.

Why, you ask?

Why not!

TheIWLA is attempting to find more information about “Hope in Joy” and will make it available for those who may wish to make a donation.     Thank you.

It May Be Easier Than You Think

Is it just ME, or do (did) you, too, think that to be a leader meant having to do extraordinary things?

Leadership is not over-rated, though often misunderstood.  Here’s why… We live in a world of excess.  It seems everyone is declared “the best”, “the most beautiful”, “the smartest”, “the richest” and we confuse these accolades (often self-proclaimed) as signs of leadership.

Not necessarily so. Some of the best leaders I have known and admired remain somewhat nameless in the grand scale of things.  They made a mark in the world: they were mothers, teachers, and nurses.  They attended meetings, served in soup kitchens, stayed up late to get things done. They were highly thought of and their absence leaves a void.

But were they leaders?  Yes – and in every sense of the word.  Here’s why:  they influenced others.  They influenced children, students, patients.  They supported, encouraged, and nurtured.  That, my friend, is to lead.

Never underestimate your ability to lead by assuming it takes more than is does.  Never use that perception as an excuse not to assume a leadership role.

Rarely is “a leader” “the leader”, meaning that they lead in all ways.  We have specialties, areas of expertise, different frames of reference, and different life experiences. We are individually great and individually worthy.

A plaque hangs in my office that reads:

So, IS it just me, or are you ready to put on your big girl shoes and pave a new path?

You’ll never have followers if you refuse to lead.

A War Worth Waging

I Know It’s Not Just Me on this one…

Last week, I shared a story of a young woman who jumped to her death from the George Washington Bridge in New York.  It seemed she saw no alternative to dealing with a handful of colleagues who were bullying her.

These “colleagues” are women!  They are not children who can be excused for simply not knowing any better.  WOMEN!

I had the pleasure of speaking with a member of The International Women’s Leadership Association  (TheIWLA) yesterday.  We spoke about the outrage of bullying, particularly as it is rampant among we who were once known as the “fairer” sex.  Well, there is nothing remotely fair about anyone who preys upon someone  perceived to be weaker, less worthy, or in the “spirit” of the manifesto-driven, less “entitled”.  (Another topic you shouldn’t get me started on!)

With her permission and her blessing, this wonderful women with whom I spoke, a victim of bullying herself, has granted me the right to share some of what we shared by way of our follow-up, written comments.  Thank you, Constancia.

Please read…  

Hi Beth,

Just wanted to tell you it was pleasant to hear your voice.  Just wanted to share with you after we talked, a young lady who I am considering for a position in my office told me her daughter was bullied at school and she attempted suicide.  Again, bullying is a real issue, it is rampant and I want to join with others in helping.  Thanks for your words of inspiration.   It has been a challenge since we last talked but I am still "shutting out the noise and pressing on."  This happens to be the title of my book, a work in progress.   There is a lot of negative chatter and negative energy right now.  If we allow this to engulf our being, it can blind us to our purpose and goals.   I will not be manipulated into the whirlwinds of life because I remain mindful of my Creator.  I am the change agent!

Have a great evening!

Best regards,

Constancia Stewart

My response…

Dear Constancia,

It was lovely to speak with you today, as well;  thank you for your kind words…

As you know, I have zero-tolerance for bullying; I loathe it is every one of its forms.

Your message, is such a sad one; one too frequently told.  Thankfully, in this case, it is not too late to do something.

We of TheIWLA stand ready to play whatever role we can in the worthy battle against bullying.  We will continue to blog about it and, with your blessing, I would like to use our correspondence for that purpose. 

You may believe, as I do, that there are no co-incidences.  So, how did you come to be named Constancia; it’s a strong and purposeful name!  The Creator you remain mindful of apparently had big things in store for you, thus a name that represents diligence, persistence, one who does not easily gives up: “the constant one”, Constancia.

You are wagering a big battle but it’s a worthy one and one that countless others join you in.  We join you and we will continue to shed light on this awful situation that, so sadly, seems to have become a female virus.

I look forward to reading your book.  I am sure it will help many.  Keep telling your story; keep telling the stories of others.

With my most sincere regards and in support of your work,

Beth Johnston

Executive Director

TheIWLA

I feel strongly that there are others readings this who can relate to Constancia.  I want  you to know that TheIWLA is going to continue to advocate against  bullying in every way possible.   I ask you to join us, share your stories, join local groups and pray.  Pray for the victims.  Pray for the bullies; they are the ones most in need of our prayers and redemption.  

I know it’s not just me….let’s do all we can to end bullying.  Mentor young girls.  Hold women accountable for their actions and may another one of us never choose death over life because of a bully.

To the victims, I say, “God bless you”;

to the bullies, I say, God help you”!

The Volunteer Who Didn’t

Is it just ME, or do you, too think volunteerism should be, well, voluntary?

Funny story…

I recently found my name printed on an invitation that went out to thousands of alumni from my high school.  I could easily have missed it! But, I didn’t.  There it was.  My name as a committee member for a committee I had not volunteered for.  Who has the time for these things?

I had a choice; we always do.

 

I decided that my name was there for a reason; I don’t believe in co-incidences.  I didn’t want to be attached to anything that misrepresented the nature of the event, the source of the invitation, and certainly not me.

I called the head of the alumni association and introduced myself and briefly “apologized” for having missed previously scheduled committee meetings – and explained why!  We both laughed. Graciously, the person on the other end understood and appreciated my position and extended her own apology for putting me in this situation.

Then I asked what I could do to help.

We chatted for about 1 hour, exchanged some stories and I was given the conference call info for later that night.  At 7p.m., I joined a call – already in progress (who ever starts these things on time?)  My “situation” was shared with the other attendees and the meeting progressed. 

I suggested that a special invitation be sent to the former P.E. Director of our school as the event was “Sports Night” related.  My “sister committee members” all thought it a great idea.  But alas, no-one knew how to begin to be in touch with her.  Oh well, lots of good ideas die on the vine – especially when they are just left there to die.

One Google search and a “411” call later, I was on the phone with this beloved woman.  I explained I was a former student of the school, mentioned the class, then my name and permitted her to admit she had no idea who I was.  But she did!

“I know exactly who you are”, she chimed.  I was smiling from ear to ear.  I couldn’t believe it.  She flattered me by saying “You are worth remembering.”  I thought I would cry (my typical reaction – happy or sad!)

I explained the nature of the call, shared details of the upcoming event and extended her an invitation to join in the celebration.  She was thrilled.  I was more thrilled.

Here’s the thing: opportunity comes when opportunity is needed the most. Though the years have always held fond memories of this woman, I would never have picked up the phone out of the blue and called her.  NEVER!  But here was any opportunity which for some reason was placed before me.

When opportunity presents itself, take it. See it as a gift – a gift you need and deserve. The “nothing ventured, nothing gained” phrase rings true, it always does. But are we here just to break even at the end of any given day, at the end of any given relationship?

This woman made my day and I think I added a bit to hers, as well! Our 20 minutes conversation opened a flood-gate of memories of wonderful people we both knew.  It was as if we were regular phone buddies.  It was great!

Opportunity is often followed by responsibility and I imagine that’s the reason many of us don’t volunteer in the first place.  Now, we have to do something!  The phone call was just step one.  But, isn’t the first step always the hardest?  That being said, this is going to become an experience I would not have wanted to pass up yet it could easily be one I never embraced.

 

So, IS it just me, or do you think I was volunteered for a reason?

Knock, Knock…

Who’s there?

OPPORTUNITY

(let it in!)

Account - HER – Ability

Is It Just ME, or do you, too have a short fuse for certain things – like bullying?

I have just read a story about a young woman in her early 20s who jumped to her death from the George Washington Bridge in New York.

A student of fashion, she aspired to do great things; as we all should.  She left behind grieving parents and other family members who may never understand what led her to her final moment - or their possible role in it.

She also left behind a list of 5 other young woman who, from the ice cold water of the Hudson River she would ever deny  a place in her death that they did not have in her life; they are to be denied attendance at her services.

I am not mentioning her name; she has many.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a strong and negative reaction to anyone who bullies.  I have stood up against them – boys and girl – when I witnessed their pathetic attempt to appear bigger or better than another.
 
In my generation, it seemed we tolerated or expected such behavior from boys – but girls?  As time has moved on, (but not necessarily progressed) I think the “fair” among us have grown less so (and in every way) than once imaginable.  WHY?

In our quest for equality did we knowingly choose to surrender all that positively differentiated us from the primal instincts of our male counterparts; or was that the spoils of the battle we fought?  In either case, may we have a mulligan?

Though bullying has been around forever, the debate about it is new and hardly ready to be called – if ever it will.  So why does it seem to be breeding at warp speed?  Media?  I would say yes.

Women have been pitted against other women in “reality” shows under the banner of, i.e., “The REAL Housewives of…”  Jealousy, greed, gossip are standards by which air time is “rewarded”.  Networks are making millions in the new arena of femme-fatale gladiators in which women are both the victim AND the prey.  To that I say “BRAVO” (reference intended: The Bravo Network!)  You make women bullying other women look to be a goal every self-worshiping female should set her sights on.  Again, I say “BRAVO”!  (Shame on you!)

If anyone feels they are made big in making others feel small, I have news for them: they are the lowest of the low.  Their lack of self-worth may one day catch up with them and they will reap what you have sown; or perhaps, their children will – how sad.

I feel myself winding-up here because I have an instinctive, visceral reaction to the whole topic of bullying.  I WANT NAMES!!

So to the beautiful young woman, who chose to leap to her death this week, was this your attempt to bully-back?  Was this the only way you could control the situation?  Do you think you have left a handful of colleagues behind who you eternal control over through guilt, remorse, sorrow?

OR HAS THE BULLY WON?  Has the bully proved her point that you were of lesser value?

HAS ANYONE WON?

Of course not…we have all lost and will continue to do so until we realize we are each self-empowering.  Another can only take from us what we are willing to surrender.  DO NOT.

Find a Mentor.  Be a Mentor.  Be there for your children, for each other.  Be a champion in the cause against bullying and to you, I say, “BRAVA”.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, ready to stand beside others and tell them just how wonderful, how worthy they are.

                                                    SO ARE YOU!

The Power of Every Given Moment

Is it just ME, or do you, too, look back and beg to have certain moments in your life back – just for a moment?

I suppose we all do.  What would we have done differently?  How might different choices made in any given moment have changed the course of our lives?

One hundred years ago, on February 4, 1913, a woman by the name of Rosa Parks was born.  Forty-two years later, Rosa changed the course of history – not just for herself, not just for a race – but for a nation – and I dare say the world.

Rosa boarded a Montgomery, Alabama public bus.  She chose a seat directly behind the 10 rows reserved for whites; it was 1955.

When asked (told?) to move and give her seat to a white man, she refused.  She and two other women were arrested.   Years later, Rosa, herself described that moment as spontaneous and not premeditated.  Predestined, perhaps!

In that moment, life changed for us all.  I am not just speaking about the civil rights movement being catapulted forward, I am referring to the fact that it was a woman who stood her ground and spoke her heart. 

Rosa Parks became the face of integration and changing segregation laws known as ”Jim Crow Laws”.  That was just the beginning.

Ms. Parks was the recipient of the Congressional Gold Medal of Honor and the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  Rosa died on October 24, 2005; she was the first woman to lie-in-state in the Capitol of the United States of America.

What Rosa did for women was to encourage us to follow our hearts; they are the pulse, the lifeline of the world.  She taught us to speak up, to stand our ground and to express ourselves.   Her ride in 1955 on a Montgomery, Alabama public bus changed the journey and the destination for every woman and forever.

Rosa taught us about choices.  The right to choose, the ability to choose, and the reasons we make the choices we make.  True women of leadership aren’t born in an innate ability to only and always make the right choices but in being accountable for the results of all the choices they make.  That’s leadership, integrity, responsibility.

Weakness does not come from making bad choices; it comes from refusing to make choices at all.  

Marianne Williamson wrote about “playing small”; it serves no-one, it teaches no-one.  Don’t confuse that with “playing it safe”.  Refusing to make choices or forcing others to choose for you isn’t safe at all; in fact, I think it’s rather   dangerous.

  

For all reading this in relative real time, Rosa Park was a woman of our times.  She is not a page in an old history book.  She remains the vibrant and beautiful face of  courage a woman took in declaring her rightful place, not just on a bus but in life; she made that choice easier for every woman. 

Own your life.  Make choices. Make mistakes.  Make new choices.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, now see that courage, strength, leadership do not come from going backwards; the come only in having the courage to choose to move forward.

Thank you, Miss Parks

Wash the Windows!

Is it just ME, or are you, too, amazed at simple things that seem to never get done?

Here’s an example…

I live in a pretty small town with a rather small assortment of retailers.  About a year-and-a-half ago, a new shop opened.  Something in the window caught my eye: a big red handbag!  I had to get a closer look.

Because I always pass this store either before or after normal retail hours, it necessitated a special trip on a weekend which, by the way, I was eager to make; and so I did.

Circled twice.  Found a parking space.  Stopped to take a look in the window; UGH!  I went in anyway.

The shop was a designer consignment shop, which I was not aware of, and the bag I was coveting was a tennis racket tote. 

As I was the only potential customer there (not!), I felt obligated to give every article its encore ovation.  Yes, there were Jimmy Choo shoes, Versace dresses, Armani suits, even a Vera Wang wedding dress!  AND, the large red tennis racket tote in the window.

All of that = NO SALE.

More than a year later, guess what?  Well, I’ve never revisited but I still do pass the shop and the large red tennis tote IS STILL IN THE WINDOW!!!!!

So, what, you ask!

Any market, large or small, has a finite number of opportunities to make an impression.   Making the right impression is the key.  You, like previously owned designer shoes may never get another chance to dance and be the belle of the ball.  You have to keep the music playing, keep the party going, keep the interest of the same audience.  That is the difference between success and failure.  In fact, it’s the basis of any and every relationship.

Don’t miss any opportunity to keep a prospect, a buyer, a follower from coming back and to keep following you.  “First dates” count.  Gone bad, they preclude second dates, and so on….

Keep your windows clean.  Force your market to take a second look. Give them something new to look at – it’s really that simple! 

Keeping the competitive edge in today’s market is tough, but if you make your audience feel as if you don’t care about them or that you don’t need them (and believe me: you do!) don’t be shocked when they return the sentiment.  You must keep doing the work.  You must keep the window into your business clean and appealing.

I doubt I’ll ever go into that shop again.  They have made their impression.  The next time I open that door may be when they have gone out of business and a new one has replaced them. 

Don’t let your customers, your prospects, your clients wait for the next “shop” to open.  Keep them buying from you!  Don’t let them replace you.

So, IS it just me, or do you feel like going home and cleaning your windows – it’s just me, right?

If you are in the market for a

LARGE RED TENNIS RACKET TOTE,

let me know!

In The Mirror

Is it just ME, or are you, too, amazed by people – even just one, if you’re lucky – who continue to inspire and amaze you?

I remember being eager to share daily reflections with my Dad – the world’s greatest listener – to draw-out his reaction.  I remember sharing my shock, my surprise, my delight – whatever I was feeling and asking, “Can you believe that, Dad?”  He’d look over his glasses, methodically remove them right to left, take a concentrated pause and reply, “Doll, you’ve been around long enough; how can anything surprise you, anymore.”  Oh, the wisdom!

Some of those days were half my life ago.  How I wish I could have just one more.  (That wouldn’t surprise anyone who knew my Dad.)

I think the sad reality of the high-tech age is that we hear so much that is negative.  The evening news show is too much to handle some times – and that’s just the local news!

Children being taken, spouses calculating cruelty against each other, politicians pandering for support…ENOUGH!

And then, it the bleakest of moments, hope rises from ruin and we are restored and reminded that good people, great people still live among us  Do they just not sell as many newspapers or keep the advertising dollar high enough to be lauded?  

I don’t know for sure – I wish I could figure it out, but in the meantime, I want to shine a light – again – on the women I am blessed to work with, to serve, to know, to admire, to call “friend”, my “sisters”, both biological and spiritual.  You continue to amaze me on so many levels and in so many ways. 

     

Yes, Dad, I have been around that long, yet I am still amazed!

Here’s the point: women always want to be, do, to help, to contribute.  Women NEED to do; leadership is born in us.  OK, maybe we just need to be reminded that we can aspire to be whatever we set our hearts, minds, passion and hard work to.  We are only bound by the limits we weigh ourselves down with.

Almost daily, I converse with a number of members of The Inter-national Women’s Leadership Association (TheIWLA).  They come from all walks of life, varying cultures and educational backgrounds. 

They often lose sight of the contribution they make to the world – they are just too busy doing it!  They are just that purposeful.

These women walk among us every day.  They don’t always stand out in a crowd; they rarely seek to.  They are “the makers”; not “the takers”.  They change hats throughout the day, they multi-task, they get the job done and then take on another one.  They keep the world spinning and say “thank you” at the end of the day.

Oh, I am just so amazed to know many of you, to have been blessed to share some time with you.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too blessed to have even one such person in your life? 

Look in the mirror…THERE SHE IS!!!