ZIG; then ZAG

Is it just ME, or do you, too love reading clever, motivational sayings?

I love them!

 

It is sad, then, to think that one of the greats has written his last one.

World renowned and all-around master of positive thinking, Zig Ziglar died this week at the age of 86.

Author of 30 books and Mentor to the Mentors, Zig’s phrases and perspectives have been quoted and paraphrased for more than 40 years.  He sat beside US Presidents and former Prime Minister of England, Margaret Thatcher.

I can remember hearing his name for the first time.  I hadn’t a clue.  His name started to echo in my ear over the years and I grew to be a big fan.

What would Zig say about that?

Perhaps that nothing he said was about him; which is not to say that his words did not apply to him.  Rather, he lived to motivate others to achieve success – and boy, did he ever!!

Let’s share one, shall we?

You can have everything in life you want,

if you will just help other people get what they want.

Well, yes, of course…we all know that, right? 

Zig had a way of making things sound obvious; reasonable.  Therein lies the ability for all of us to gleen something from his words of wisdom.

 

THAT’S THE ZAG!

What I mean by that is to take the words of a Zig (often imitated; never duplicated!) and then apply them – as you see fit – to you and your personal circumstances.  It will always be an honest, albeit, sometimes uncomfortable fit.

In fact, take the words of anyone and extract what is most meaningful for yourself, your family, your community, your tribe.  It’s like reading horoscopes in the newspaper.  I think if you cover up what sign you are reading, each and every one of them will resonate with you. 

Let’s take another look…

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - 

that's why we recommend it daily.  

Another winner!

Please take a moment every day and find your motivation in some one, some thing, some place.  Then find your focus for the day and see it through.  Find your inner motivation and share it.  Lead by example; other will always be willing to follow.

I honestly believe I have felt your feelings.
I've walked in your shoes.
You have made some mistakes,
and you may not be where you want to be,
but that has nothing to do with your future.

~Zig Ziglar

SO, IS it just me, or do you, too find hope and honesty in the words of Zig Ziglar

Tell me, where do you find your inspiration, your motivation?

Rest well, Mr. Z – and thanks.

Lead or Follow: It’s Your Choice; Either Way, YOU WIN!

Is it just ME, or do you ever wonder how some people are constantly doing something  - all the time?

I’ve decided the answer is that they choose to, and it’s a good choice.

We have been deluged with the Law of Attraction (LOA) theme in the last 8 years, or so.  Once “The Secret” was let out of the bag (Press Pause: come on, now, was it really a secret?) we’ve been told to think about the power of thought. (“thought”, in this case, a noun, not the past tense of what it was we used to be thinking.  Let’s not create another chicken and egg debate!)

OK, I get it. Think positive thoughts and positive things will just happen, right?  Not totally out of my realm of acceptance; just a bit naive, I’d say.

If you sit around all day thinking lovely, positive thoughts….. well, I don’t think there’s any secret here – nothing happens.  LOA?  LOL!

Here’s “the secret”…actually, the game plan:

1.)      Think

2.)      Decide

3.)      Take Action

4.)      Complete Task

5.)      Access…………………………..and REPEAT

Thinking isn’t enough; that’s called dreaming.  It’s about actualizing.  The good news is that this is episodic; it’s forgiving.  You can press “restart” just by deciding.  Your decisions can float. You can decide to lead in one circumstance; you can decide to follow in another.  It’s always your choice.  Either way, you win.  In fact, everyone wins!

I’m a planner.  My dad used to always ask, “What’s on your agenda, today”.  He was telling us we needed to have purpose.  We needed to have a set of goals – if only for the day. 

Perhaps, that’s what made me a list-writer.  The joy of writing a list begins when you start crossing things off the list . Ah, the satisfaction. Something got done.

Then I started writing perpetual lists.  One thing off the top; something added to the bottom.  Ah, the empowerment.

I decided a long time ago the one thing I would never want to live with was regret (and the guy I wasted much of my 30s with!).  I’d rather try and not succeed (not the same as failing), learn something and try again – or something new.  Kind of like the 5-step approach, above. 

I look at having choice not as another burden, but as a blessing.  It’s freedom.  It’s also about accountability.  We must accept the results of our actions or lack of action.  That’s fair.

May I offer this suggestion...please?

Before you get out of bed in the morning decide what kind of a day you want to have. Then, plant your feet firmly on the floor and take the first step in that direction.  Now, you have an agenda.  You have a goal.  Maybe a list.  You have purpose.  That’s the only way you can be an effective leader, an effective follower and the perfect combination of both.  We need to know who or what purpose we are serving (this is true for leaders and followers), how we satisfy a need, how we impact the world.  It starts when we decide.

So, IS it just me…or do you admire those who have a plan?

Tell me, are you a list-writer?  How does it help you?

Please excuse me, now…I have to cross “Blog” off today’s list! 

And, thanks for deciding to read this Blog!  (BTW:  for proper response, see Blog of Monday, Nov. 26, 2012!)

The Passing of Gentility

Is it just ME… or has the whole world stopped saying, “You’re welcome”?

Remember when the knee-jerk response to “thank you” was “you’re welcome”?  Have you noticed it’s been replaced with “no problem”?  Does that mean I should only consider doing something – even going out of my way – a little bit – because it didn’t create a problem for me to do so?  Oh, how sad!

I am willing to go the extra mile for the benefit of another.  Isn’t that what women are intuitively wired to do? Aren’t we the actual problem SOLVERS?

So, what’s the problem we are all declaring (thankfully!) wasn’t in the way of a kind act or a momentary expression of appreciation?

Can we know longer tell others they are worth our circumventing any problem that might otherwise prevent a kind gesture of one human being to another?

Think about it – I’ll wait – “no problem”! 

OK, so what does “you’re welcome” really mean? 

Here are some possibilities:

I was happy to do that for you

It was my pleasure to assist you

Nothing in the world could have prevented me from helping you

There was nothing else I would have wanted to do

OK, starting to sound a bit Gone With the Wind-ish!

So here is what is likely to happen…a generation, or so, from now, the sound of the once gentile phrase, ‘you’re welcome’ will sound as dissonant as a busy signal on a land-line.  (Busy signal? Land-line? Google them!)

There are probably many other expressions of yester-year that have been retired.  Can you think of any?  Please share.

For me, and yes I began to hear myself momentarily – and unconsciously -  leaning to the “no problem” side of the table, I am going to go out of my way to hold fast to the kinder, gentler days when we looked for opportunities to do things for others because it made both of us feel good.  WOW; what a notion!  

OMG (that used to be OH, My Gosh!) I think I just figured out what the problem is; therefore what the “no problem” is…..ready…..this is big….too few people are saying “thank you”.  That means no-one even has the chance to say “you’re welcome”!  I get it.  THAT’S the problem!  So when someone responds “no problem” to your “thank you” they are actually thanking you because YOU didn’t re-create the actual problem (of not saying “thank you”)  They are actually acknowledging that YOU said “thank you”

WOW – problem solved……………………………………..”you’re welcome!”

So, IS it just me, or have you, too, hearing, “no problem” as a response to “thank you”?

Which is your preference?  What do you say?  Please comment…

WHEN GREAT OAKS REFUSE TO BEND

Is it just ME…or have you ever wondered why the small, seemingly weakest-of-all trees bend in the wind and the tall ones fall?  HMMM!

The mighty winds of “Superstorm Sandy” (October, 2012) huffed and puffed over coastal New Jersey and New York. The small, fragile-looking trees bent as if on springs; the tallest and widest stood firmly planted.  It seemed impossible for them to move at all.  Yet, as if in the blink of an eye, these hundred year-old beauties seemed to uproot themselves!  They lay across roadways, smashed through rooftops, crushed cars, took-down service wires, and forever changed the view in all directions.  They reminded me of King Kong laying on 5^th Avenue in New York City after plummeting from atop The Empire State Building. Both scenes broke my heart.  Neither seemed real.

For years I’ve heard the banter about how miraculous it is that little trees survive and large ones fall.  What’s the lesson? What is the Diva of all Divas, Mother Nature, herself wanting us to learn from this?

I offer you this – and I am sure I am not alone…

At the funeral of the late Richard M. Nixon, President of the United States (1969  -  Aug, 1974), a comment in a eulogy stated that, and I paraphrase, “Only when a mighty oak falls can you truly measure its greatness”.  (Loved it!) Yes, I thought, so true.  Now while we will not discuss the controversial presidency of “Tricky Dick” (Hated it!) we will mention a few of his personality traits.

Richard Milhous Nixon in many ways was a strong leader.  He served the world through his courageous stand on foreign policy. Agree or disagree, he was, I think you’ll agree, courageous in his approach to it.

Richard Milhous Nixon in some ways was a weak leader.  It is argued that he could not grasp the fact that one day he would no longer be the ruler of the free world. 

He was that mighty oak that resisted the wind until it could resist no more.  He created the fall of what otherwise may have gone down in history as a stunning presidency -  but for the right reason.

Leaders are funny people.  You can only lead if others are willing to follow.  But leaders must (should) view themselves as blessed to be of service to their followers; not the other way around. 

Let’s compare…

Characteristics of Oak Tree Leadership 

Standing too firm in one spot

Not appreciating your followers

Not inviting their thoughts and opinions

Disregarding their feedback

Leading them where you want to go

   In short, ignoring the change in the wind.

Characteristics of Service Leadership 

(I am going to call this Magnolia Leadership – why?  Because I’m a leader  -  and I can !!)

Willingness to bend for the benefit of others

Appreciating your followers

Asking them to share their thoughts, feelings, perspectives

Considering their feedback

Leading them where they want to go

  In short, being willing to change with the times and the needs.

I so believe that service leadership is a more natural instinct of women than of men.  I believe most women truly want to make a difference.  (I also believe some just want to appear to do so.)

Woman, be true to yourself!  If you are a natural-born leader, embrace what is intuitively yours.  If you feel you were born to follow, appreciate yourself for helping others to become great leaders – it’s thanks to you that they can be. 

Most importantly, be willing to change hats from time to time.  Leadership is relative.  You can be a great team-player at work and an awesome leader in the community.  You can be a loyal supporter of a cause and still more than capable of leading another one. 

As I write in the aftermath of “Sandy”, I have a view of my own yard.  Many oaks still stand.  When will they resist so much that they can resist no more?  I see my beautiful Magnolia.  Yes, she has given-up her multi-hued leaves, but just for a while.  She will be back.  She will bud and bloom and announce that springtime has arrived.   She will lead us on to kinder, gentler days.  She is, after all, a Magnolia.

SO…

Beware the might oak, for when they fall they can devastate.

Celebrate those who are still strengthening their roots and spreading their “wings”.  Feed their needs and nurture their souls.  For today’s followers may be tomorrow’s leaders, and the world needs both. 

Be willing to lead.  Be willing to follow.  Be brave enough to do both. 

So, IS it just me?  What do you think, dear Magnolia?

Who do you follow; who do you lead?

ARE YOU MORE ANGRY THAN UPSET…FRUSTRATED…what?

Is it just ME…or are you, too, just down-right FRUSTRATED by the General Petraeus affair “incident”?

We are all aware of the latest Power-Dude who Duded himself out of a high-power job because of an extramarital affair.  Four-star General David Petraeus, former head of U.S. military activity in Iraq and Afghanistan and now former head of the CIA (Double Dude!) had an affair with his authorized biographer, Paula Broadwell.  Have journalists (if she really is one!) taken on a whole new level of “imbedding” with the military?

But here’s my frustration…I read that Paula Broadwell is upset about all the damage that has been ‘done to her family’ because of this. HELLLLLOOOO?  Who done it?

Yes, it takes two.  But it seems Paula Broadwell takes that as her having digs on 2 generals.  Ergo, an e-mail to Jill Kelly telling Kelly to keep her hands off her (Broadwell’s) stable of U.S. Generals.  Come on girls.  We’re talking a total of 8 Stars here.  Isn’t that enough for the two of you?

Who is Jill Kelly?  She’s reported to be the unofficial official social-digger who throws parties in the Tampa, Florida area to get in good with the military community.  (For the heck of it, GOOGLE her – it seems there are more important issues in her life for her to attend to than throwing parties!)

Jill received threatening e-mails from Paula (this feels like high school stuff!) and Jill blew the whistle on the whole darn bunch of them!

Long story short, Petraeus lost his job (and his image), Broadwell is a Broad, no longer well, Kelly’s laundry has been aired to the world, General Allen has been named “a player”…spouses and children have had what must have seemed (deservedly) like a safe, strong family structure shaken……………..and, oh, yes, Broadwell is upset!   So sorry, Paula.

I imagine this sort of stuff has always gone on; we know it has.  But, come on, General Petraeus, you were the head of the CIA.  The “I” stands for Intelligence. You were supposed to make the American public and allies around the world feel you were in charge, that you knew what was going on, you (CIA) could uncover any covert op.  Yet you couldn’t cover-up your own?

Therein lies the truth.  We live in a transparent world.  Cameras are everywhere.  Info travels as fast as words can be spoken, texted, faxed.  It’s harder than ever to get away with anything.  I have trouble talking-down to a 4-Star General, but, “SIR!, DID THEY NOT TEACH YOU THAT IN “CIA 1001”?

What of Ms. Kelly?  Is she a loyal, honest American citizen who stepped up for her country?  Or, is she another scorned woman?  What were her motives?  Was she so fixed on getting-back at Broadwell that she would risk the reputation of two honored military career men.  Did this all backfire in her face?  Jill: hero or victim?

And Ms. Broadwell? How do you define your patriotic rights – and to whom?    

I’m no genius, but do these folk not read the newspapers or listen to the news?  Are they not aware of the “Governator Affair” – to name just one?  (Oh, no! Does this mean you are all going to write  “make me rich” books now?)

For me, I want to know that leaders at the top – of anything -  got there by doing the right thing; that they earned it.  I want to believe that a 37-year marriage was built on respect, if not love.  I want to feel that the men and women of our Armed Forces know their leaders have one thing (the right thing) on their minds – the safety of our troops, and I want to hope that everyone learns something from this.

(But, I am known for wearing rose-colored glasses!) 

SO, IS it just me? Are you tired of “The-Betray-Us” way of life where  leaders are  fine with anything and everything – until THEIR toes get stepped on – or they get caught? 

Please share your thoughts and comments

Now, SMILE – because someone probably has a camera on you right now and eventually, we’ll all know if you didn’t!

Thankstaking

Is it just ME….or do you feel the world of gi-normous retailers is creating unnecessary frenzy with an early-ER start of “Black Friday”?

Remember when Thanksgiving was a day you looked forward to because it was about family and some downtime?  I loved Thanksgiving for so many reasons.  Primarily, it was because – by all degrees of comparison – it was a non-commercial holiday.  Other than grocery shopping it was the shopping-free holiday.  No gifts, no wrapping, no cards.  Breathe.  Enjoy.  Take off your shoes.  Relax.  Anticipate.  The Christmas Season starts …. tomorrow.

As a kid, I remember my Mom handing each of the six of us our “Christmas Club” money. Yes, Christmastime was here!  Every week, Mom put one dollar into an account for each of us.  It was magical. Come December 26^th, we began planning our shopping route.  We were natural born shoppers!  In those days, the process itself was as much fun as the actual gifting.  WOW, when was the last time I felt that way?

So, the announcements have been made.  Christmas will start on Thanksgiving – and earlier than ever.  Come on!  Can’t we have a traditional, dining room experience without the pressure of shopping?

But, is that the real pressure?

 

Let’s examine the evidence….

BLACK FRIDAY; what does that mean?  The truth is that the big stores hope to “get into the black”.  The pressure is really on them – they are just making it our responsibility!  I’m all about the freedom of making money, but… how do you spell gluttony?  Can’t we just overeat and come back an hour later and pull out the leftovers?

Thanksgiving is early this year.  That means we already have a longer-than-usual shopping season for Christmas.  Besides, most people I know cut back on holiday gifting years ago.  I did!

And what about the store workers who are supposed to be over-the-moon about working on a major holiday – yes, Thanksgiving is a major holiday.  Were they polled about this?  Was it made an optional work day?  I don’t even think they’ll get overtime because so many of these retailers only hire part timers – just so they never have to pay O.T. or pay for health insurance, paid sick days – OR HOLIDAYS!  (The reason, BTW, too many people have to find and hold-down 3 jobs – do the math Human Resources – it doesn’t make sense!)

Last year, I was shopping in Macy’s (we’ll deal with them later!)  I spotted a beautiful cashmere scarf for my husband.  It was $135.00.  It didn’t come home with me.  About a week later, it did!  70% OFF!  Yes!  Patience IS a virtue.  That was MY BLACK DECEMBER 19!

If we buy into the Black Friday Propaganda, aren’t we encouraging retailers to keep taking more away from our beloved Thanksgiving?  An extra hour here; an extra hour there.  For what?  Do that many people really hate football?  Is an annual meal with Aunt Lil just too hard to bear? 

What about all the prep that goes into creating the most memorable meal of the year?  Will that soon be forgotten, as well? 

Some of my family’s favorite memories are of the after-conversations and activity around the dining room table.  We share those memories with the generation too young to remember the good-old days.  Their faces light up; and they smile.  Guess what?  We are creating new memories; good memories.  Not memories about pushing, shoving, and waiting on lines – we can do that on any other day of the year.

So, I ask you, are you going to help guarantee that the likes of Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Sears, Best Buy…… put a few bucks in the till or are you going to help guarantee that a great tradition continues and that Thanksgiving has a day all its own?

And Macy’s?  Don’t you want to be remembered as, hello, The Thanksgiving Day Parade store?  Are you going to rename it The Black Friday Day Parade?  Must you throw a sale after the parade? You’ll get my dollar – one day, or another, but not on Thanksgiving. (FYI, Cher won’t be shopping at Macy’s on Black Friday, either – or ever; at least until they get rid of Donald Trump as a spokesperson!)

I also wonder where all the retail execs will be.  Are they pushing back from their feasts early and showing up for work on Thanksgiving, too?  I wonder (but, come on, I think we may know the answer to that already).

SO, IS it just me, or do you, too, want to tell the turkeys who make these decisions to stuff it?   

Do you think Thanksgiving should become Black Thursday, instead?  Please comment…

P.S.  And, Thanks for giving all that you do; today and every other day.  For you alone give us cause to stop, celebrate, and declare a special day!

KEEP THE GIVING in THANKSGIVING!

Is it just ME

Is it just ME… or do you often wonder how people end up doing what it is they do?

OK, I get that nurses went to nursing school.  I actually hold professions like nursing and teaching in high esteem.  They are “callings”.   They choose you; you don’t choose them – and I’ve spoken with countless healthcare pros and educators who agree.

Then there are those situations where one is in a position that is not even remotely connected to their educational background or familial tendency – which also includes nursing and teaching.  I’ve heard some declare, somewhat casually, “I was in the right place at the right time” (RPRT) Ah; location, location, location.  Yes, I see.

Believe it, or not, I have also spoken with a few (one is too many!) who seem quite successful, by some definition of success, who really can’t explain what it is they do.  I actually was in a conversation on this topic when the person with whom I was speaking needed to get her job description to answer the question!  WOW; she earns a living (?) not knowing what it is she is actually doing. 

Oh, wait… isn’t there a lot of that going on of late?

Well, I’ve been asked what it is I do and why?  How did I get into my position?  How?  Why?  Where was my RPRT?

I’ve done an assortment of things in my life.  I did corporate America, started, built and sold 3 businesses, consulted, went back to fulltime (you know the 60 hour a week deal!) then found myself starting on a whole new journey.

My career track hit-on an assortment – and unassociated – industries.  I found that I did not always apply my specific education, either. I just used my head and followed my heart.  I saw a vision, I wrote the mission (not so I could read it in case someone ever asked me about it, but to make it real) then planned a course, set a goal, and got to work.

Here’s what I learned through it all.  Passion was my driving force.  I think most women feel the same.  I saw a need – and it was women; those women.

When the vision bringing women from around the world together to serve and be served by individual and collective passions, it burned itself in my mind.  It was another call to action.  The result: The International Women’s Leadership Association (TheIWLA) with Co-Founder, Keitha Rocco, who, like me, not only saw the vision but understood it and believed it.

Women needed a culturally diverse and dynamic platform from which their voices could be heard and where there were others waiting to listen: women – other women.  A place where they could freely express, exchange, engage, and embrace.  A forum for women, by women, and about women. 

Don’t misunderstand; TheIWLA is not a safe house for the meek.  It is a safe net for the courageous.   It is not a place to come and hide.  It is a place to come and be exposed beyond the limits of any individual.  It is not for those who set their dreams on simmer.  It is place for those who grow their dreams to white hot.

So, why do I do what it is I do?  I do what I do because I have never let anyone tell me that I can’t.  My Dad made me believe there was nothing I couldn’t do if I made the decision to do it.  My Mom told me I was worthy.  So are you.

There is an intuitive leader born in every woman.  God got it right.  Women don’t need chairs pulled back for them or car doors opened.  We just deserve it; not because we feel “entitled” but because we are “empowered”.

SO…IS it just me, or do you, too often wonder why people end up doing what it is they do?

Tell me – no, really…tell me:  what are you doing?  Why?  How?

Then tell me… what is your passion, your vision, your goal?