Socrates and me!

Is it just ME – and Socrates, or are you, too, always curious as to the ‘who, what, where, when why and how’.

I was blessed to be raised in a family that delighted in my ‘need to know’.  I never remember simply being today, “Because”, in answer to any of my questions.  I was fed with information, which, guess what; provoked more questions.

I remember in an early Philosophy class in college studying the ancients:  Plato, Aristotle, Socrates.  When we got to Socrates, classmates were quick to turn their heads and comment, “That’s you, Beth!”  Yes, they were right. Socrates, a student of Aristotle was known for asking questions!

I recall driving with my Mom and asking her if she thought there were more blades of grass or grains of sand in the world!  She supposed there were more grains of sand.  I supposed she was right! (She most often was!)

While sitting at a red light in close proximity to a large department store (I miss you, Bonwit Teller!) I asked my Mom how many bricks she thought were in the building.  She said, “Well, let’s do some math!”

Do you realize how lucky I was?  I’m not sure I did in those moments, but I sure came to realize it.  I came to appreciate that questions do have answers – or at least they provoke thoughtful conjecture, conversation, assumptions, etc!  I learned – as we are all told – there are no stupid questions, just stupid answers!

But, I wasn’t answered that way.  I was answered so as to cause me to continue to think, to expand my mind.  In so doing, I gained a wealth of information and didn’t grow up being afraid to ask.  I also learned not to be afraid if I were asked a question to which I had no ready answer.  I was given the gift of a sound foundation of communication.  I learned to listen, to think and to answer; not just to respond. 

We all have ready resources if information.  Technology makes it simple to find factual answers to questions – that’s great.  I wonder, though, what negative effect it may be having on the whole cycle of communication. 

Do we want to know, just to know?  Don’t we want to know so we can share, learn from each other and to grow.  Is the strength of our thumbs growing exponentially to the expansion of our minds?

Call me old fashioned, but nothing beats the magic of human imagination and the world of “I wonder…..”.

So, I wonder where the world would be if we began to speak more, to actually answer, rather than just responding…I wonder what would happen if we could just imagine more and know a tiny bit less.

Technology serves us well in the sciences and we have benefited greatly from advances in medicine because of it.  Technology has overloaded us with less valuable information, the benefit of which “ I wonder”.

SO, is it just ME – and Socrates – or do you, too remember the joy of days when you could just wonder, imagine, dream,  without really knowing?  Maybe I just miss driving around with my Mom and talking to her – boy, do I ever!

"Wisdom begins in wonder."

Socrates

Aim high; no higher!

Is it just me, or do you, too, know folks who you believe let talents go unused, underdeveloped, wasted?

OUCH!  Just hope no-one puts you in that category; I’m hoping the same for myself!

I believe in dreaming.  I believe in wishing.  But as an ‘oldie but goodie’ song tells us, “…wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming won’t…………..”.

Fill in the blanks as you see fit !

I believe in the dreams of others.  I want things – good things – for others – sometimes more than they seem to want it for themselves, which, by the way, rarely works out well!

What I don’t understand is anyone who spends a life just dreaming, just wishing, just hoping.  “The world doesn’t owe you a living”, my Dad would say, “it’s up to you to go out and work for it and to earn it.” 

What sometimes gets in the way, especially for women, is the active role we assume in making everyone else’s dreams come true.  (So, have you helped someone’s dream come true or have you simply given them what they wanted?)  Sometimes, it’s the lack of belief in one’s self.  Sometimes, it simply not aiming high enough.

I am at the stage of life where there is more behind me than ahead of me as far as time goes, yet I believe the best can always be yet to come.  I don’t believe in excusing failure for not trying and I don’t believe in sitting around waiting for something to happen to me or for me.  I believe that my life is not a spectator sport and that simply showing up is NOT half the battle. 

We need to set goals – BIG goals.  We need to have audacious visions. We need to be engaged.  We need to take action.  We need to DO in order to HAVE and in HAVING, we can CONTRIBUTE.

This is not rocket science – by any means.  This is simply saying we don’t need to solve the age-old mystery of which came first: the chicken or the egg.  We can still enjoy the egg!!!

What I am saddened to see is any woman selling herself short. 

What I am saddened to see is any woman who gives up before she starts.

What I am saddened to see is any woman who does not believe in herself .

What I am baffled by is to see anyone set off on a journey not knowing in what direction to go up.

HERE”S THE DIRECTION:  UP!

Dare to dream and dare to dream big.

Don’t permit another to steal your dream,

Don’t steal anyone else’s dream!

So, IS it just me, or do you too, realize there are two kinds of dreams: the one’s you imagine as you sleep and may not even remember once you wake up and then there is the dream you begin living as soon as you wake up!

Live your dream!

Set your sights high – the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way.

~Eileen Caddy

Patience: a virtue, indeed!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes find yourself  growing impatient when others are not on your schedule or timeline or honoring the same priorities?

PLEASE!  Tell me I am not the only one!

I recently responded to what is a very important set of questions after taking several weeks deciding how – and when – I wanted to respond.   You know I had to consider all options, all versions, all the ins and outs: my due diligence had to go full circle!

So, I put together my responses, all of my explanations, offered a few alternative options, added the niceties and sent it off.  Again, it took me about 3 weeks to push ‘send’.

That brings me to today:  day 3!  Still no response to the response!  The nerve!!!

Of course, I am hoping the party on the other side is approaching this project with the same integrity, commitment  - and due diligence – as I.  So, why should I grant just 1 day per week it took me to do the same?

Oh, my dear readers:  PATIENCE, patience………..

Well, in my family, I don’t think we went through the complete patience cycle when virtues were being distributed.  Without a doubt, we easily make up for it in other ways, but patience doesn’t always come easy to all of us!!!

We tend to be decisive – most of us.  We know what we like, we know what we will accept, We know what we are prepared to deliver – and we will never not show up; we always get the job done!  

But patience?  Not so much a lot!!  (But, at least I am honest about it: that counts for something; right?)

On that thought, something very interesting crossed my desk today and I want to share the gist of it with you…

Did you know (I did not), that when planted, bamboo remains below ground and invisible for 5 years? Once it appears above ground level, it has been seen to grow as high as 90 feet – 90 feet – in about 6 weeks. That is nothing short of incredible!

Now, it might seem that the bamboo is impatient – it cannot wait to grow; it does so at all but miraculous speed.

Not so!

The bamboo is patient.  It plants itself firmly, it grown roots, deep and wide so its eventual height can be supported.  That will sustain it  - and if you know anything else about bamboo it is resilient and hard to get rid of.

Ah, the plant a seed story!

So, we think, we ponder, we do our due diligence.  We plan, we take action – THEN, we want instant gratification!

Failure to plan, not planning well enough, moving too quickly are all ways of not allowing our thoughts, our dreams, our goals, our visions to become fixed in themselves so that growth is possible and sustainable.

I am suddenly thinking about children who want nothing more than to grow up and be, well, ‘grown-up’.   How many ‘grown-ups’ do you know who would love to go back in time and recapture the joy of youth?   My dad used to say that youth was wasted on the young.  What he meant was that we were not wise enough to appreciate it at the time and that we even wished time – the only thing we know we will run out of – away. Ah, the wisdom of the ages!

We are told that good things come to those who wait!  Waiting, though, is not enough. 

What the mighty bamboo tells us is that if we work our plan our plan will work.  (We typically hear that in reverse!) 

Be patient with others; give them time to catch your spirit, your energy.  Give them room to appreciate your thoughts, your visions:  BE PATIENT.

Above all, be patient with those you love – especially yourself (yes, you must love yourself!). As all good parents do for their children, give yourself roots to grow – then, grow your wings and fly.  SOAR!!!

So, IS it just me, or do you too, feel today was a great day:  we both learned something new.

Let your dreams take root!

The Longest Journey!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, ponder over big thoughts, such as this?

Just this morning, I heard a very learned man state that the longest journey is one foot; about the distance between your brain and your heart!!

WOW, I thought, I love that!  It makes sense!  It’s so true!!

Simple!  Profound!

Sometimes, the (seemingly) simplest things in life end up being the most profound and that’s how I feel about what was preached to me to be the longest journey.

Did you ever hear someone say something that seemed to have left the brain and the mouth on a total disconnect?  I guess that’s because the brain went to the mouth instead of to the heart, where it could be held,  if but for a moment – before it becomes the spoken word, the words sometimes unable to be taken back – or at least forgotten.

So,  let’s THINK about it…let’s use our brains.  Let’s ponder the worth, the value of something…anything…everything in our lives.  Let’s  have a cerebral experience.  Let’s weigh pros and cons, then let’s send it to our hearts where we ponder from a different tilt.  Let’s access the impact of what we think and how we feel about it.  Let’s consider how it might affect others.  Then, let’s re-access.

There are many thoughts that are in and out of our minds regularly; almost too fast to be captured and remembered.  Maybe that’s a good thing, after all.  Maybe those thoughts are not meant to take up space in our hearts, not meant to be shared with others, not intended to leave indelible marks on other hearts.

Now, let’s consider the things we hold in our heart that are weighing us down, that we are carrying around for too long; thoughts yet to be shared, expressed or spoken to another.  There’s a reason for that, as well.

I think these are the things we hold most dear; the things we need to express once they begin to take up more room than they deserve.  Hearts must always be ready for new thing, you know.

So, what’s in and on your heart?  What have you been thinking about forever and still not taken any action on?  What’s holding you back?  Why do you fear the first step of that ‘longest journey’?

Quite often it’s just that: fear!  Fear, of course, disguises itself in many different ways, but most often, it is fear. 

I’ll  bet your notion of fear comes with a heaping amount of negativity.  If we are fearful, it must be a bad thing.

Not so, I put out to you!

Fear can be the race of the heart when your eyes set upon a new love, a newborn child.  Fear can be the overwhelming anticipation of the last step before the first next big step toward something wonderful – something you are still not able to wrap both head and heart around!  It is a journey, after all!!!

Thoughts are in your mind for a reason; actually, you place them there: consciously or otherwise.  They are the culmination of many other processes I am not able to adequately explain; trust me, won’t you?  They are there to serve you, to grow you, to create value for you and others.  Listen to them!

The thoughts you hold to be the most valuable are those that take that journey to your heart where they can take on a new life, a wonderful life!  You start to feel your thoughts, they have color and movement.  Feel them!

Please shed your fears and continue our journey.  There may be rough roads, distractions, missed turns…but your journey will take you where you THINK you need to be and where you FEEL the best about yourself and your life.

So IS it just me, or have you, too, been trying to quiet your thoughts and your feelings?  Are you ready to take the first step?  Are you ready to overcome your fear – one step at a time.  Go ahead!  Take the longest journey between brain and heart.  The endless miles that follow will seem quite easy after that!

Enjoy your journey!

Bouncing Back…

Is it just ME, or are you, too blessed to know – or to have known – women with what can only be described as astounding resilience?

I’d hazard to guess that anyone who knows but a handful of women knows at least one resilient one; I think it’s part of the gender description!

Resilience isn’t always easy, though I dare say, becoming more and more necessary all the time. 

Life tests women, it challenges women, it sometimes dares women.  In that challenge is the need to be able to get over the “stuff” that slowly wears us down and to  survive the moments that hit as if a ton of bricks:  fast and hard.

“No-one gets out alive”, my Dad used to say.  It’s all the in between events, experiences, disappointments and heartaches that being present in truly living, not just being alive,  from which we learn our biggest lessons and form muscle and personal constitution to keep going.

Again, not always easy!

On the scorecard of life, you will not be measured by how many times you fell, but by the times you got up.

On the scorecard of life, you will not be measured by how many times you failed, but by the number of times you tried.

That, dear sisters,  is what it means to be resilient.  I like that work; I feel it’s as pretty a word as its meaning is strong.  It’s a shiny word and it’s a smart word: it’s the perfect word to describe a true woman of leadership in today’s world.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too applaud all the resilient women you are blessed to know, to know about, to have shared time and space with or to have learned from?

Get up just one more time than you fall down!

 

Never settle…

Is it just ME, or do you, too know too many people, especially women, who just always seem to accept what they are given?

Now, I’m not talking about accepting that your feet hurt by the end of the day or that you are not as understood as you want to be…I’m talking about accepting that whatever happens just happens.  I’m talking about women who don’t play an active enough role in their own lives!

I read a very interesting quote recently: something to the effect that once you settle for less than you deserve, you get less than you settled for…something like that and I am sorry I can- not give credit to the right party.

Once you settle, you accept.  Once you accept you acknowledge that “it’s good enough” – for you.

There is no woman in the world who deserves any less than anyone else in the world…please read that again…a third time if you need to…

Now, here’s the warning on THAT label:  it’s still your choice!

If you chose to accept, to settle, you’re not “allowed” to complain about it after the fact.

You CAN, however, change your mind and decide you want more, you deserve more and you are willing to do the work to achieve more.

Fair deal; don’t you think?

Sure it is.  It reminds me of a famous scene in a movie (NETWORK) in which people are shouting out their windows, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Try it; very liberating…now do something about it – because you can. 

Believe me, within the capacity of every woman is greatness.  Women are natural born leaders!  Day-in and day-out women share their incredible stories with us at The International Women’s Leadership Association.  They share how they overcame circumstances and situations others of us cannot comprehend by deciding to try to change them.

Many, many tiny steps add up to major leaps and in that journey is change and in that process is the unwillingness to settle.  In that process is declaring that I am worthy to the extent I am willing…

So, IS it just me, or do you, too realize that your right to choose gives you power over results ; power over your life.

Chose to never settle

We survived!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, wonder how the world survived for the approximate 38 minutes Facebook went down on the morning of June 19, 2014?

OMG… it was in the 4 A.M. hour and I was up listening to the morning news.  The announcement was made:  Facebook was down!

I lay there wondering what I should do…in this “War of the Worlds” moment, I prayed the panic would not spread too quickly, that windows wouldn’t open and that 1.2 billion people could hang on and make their way through this tragedy!

I was glad it was so early on the east coast of the United States  and thanked God that most Americans were still in dreamland believing the world was as safe as when they closed their eyes the night before.  If only they knew!!!

“Sorry; something went wrong” were the simple reply words given to those Face Bookers east of New York.  Wasn’t Eastern Europe in enough pain?  How would the feelings of Spain’s loss to Chile in the World Cup be shared with so many – not to mention on the same day at the Coronation of a new King in Spain!  ENOUGH!

Calm returned within the hour; all was right with the world again (Oh, really?)!  Face Book was back!

OK – just having a moment!

BUT, it did cause me to think how reliant we have become on “stuff” the world knew nothing of so short a time ago!  Progress!    Progress?

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, miss some of the personal touch that was shared between friends and family?  Are we on sharing overload?  Who really needs to know what ANY ONE is doing in any given moment?  Progress!   Progress?  Just a thought:  In the words of ET…CALL HOME!

Reach out and touch someone

(notifications don’t count!!)

Competition: It’s a good thing!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, know business persons who shutter at the thought of competition?

I got over the fear of competition a long, long time ago and I want you to do so, as well…

I can recall times of sharing ideas for businesses with others who told me I was crazy because someone had already done ‘something like that’.

Good, I thought; there’s competition!  That means someone else has already done due diligence; great minds, I thought!

Could you imagine if you could only buy one type of car, shop in one particular store, eat food prepared the exact same way – every time?  NO, of course you couldn’t.  Besides, how boring would life be?

I want to share three positive ways to view competition:

Competition creates choices

Competition indicates proof of concept

Competition indicates a market

This is all great news!

So, where do you go with a great idea for an existing market where competition is able to be identified?  How do you begin to compete?  How do you begin to gain market share?  GREAT QUESTIONS!

You get busy – very busy – determining how you may be able to:

Serve a niche market already served by competition

Serve a share of the same market in a better way

Serve a share of the same market in a better way

Determine one very distinguishing factor that differentiates you from the public  

  Perception of what is perceived to be your competition.

Believe it or not, you competition; may even thank you for it:  you are adding strength to their existing market and you might just help them get back on their “A” game!

Imagine coming up with totally unique, never thought of idea before  (I wonder if that is even possible, any more!)  Now, imagine going out into the world and trying to explain this idea that has never been heard of before and get people excited about it.  Then, get them to pay for it!

Think about it!  Virtually everything is an extension or a newer version of something that already exists in one way, or another.  The key is to do it better, more affordably, shinier, with ease of functionality and a new twist.

This is what existing markets respond to.

How many newer, better versions of anything have you bought?  How many next generation devices have you bought?  How many new wonder creams have you tried?  OMG…how many weight loss programs have you signed-on for?

These are all products within huge industries and they just keep coming at the market with “the better mouse trap”.

Don’t put aside your ideas…think them through…learn the competition… segment the market; don’t try to take it over!

Come from abundance in everything you do.  Do what you do for the best of reasons and serve others in the best way you can.  The waters may not always provide for the smoothest journey, but at least you’ll know you are heading in the right direction!

So, IS it just me, or can you, too appreciate that competition is a good thing and something you should not be fearful of?

Don’t be afraid to compete!

Roots and Wings

Is it just ME, or do you, too find yourself weighing things you want to do for yourself against the sense that you might be disappointing someone else in the same moment?

Please, tell me I am not the only one!!

I recall a day in my life in the late 60’s when as a young teenager, I had the opportunity to attend a high school dance with a bunch of my friends.  On the same night, I had planned to go to a St. John’s University basketball game with my Dad, a couple of my brothers and a younger sister, or two.

We had season tickets to St. John’s games for years and “the plan” was somewhat automatic. Talk about “cognitive dissonance!!

So fearful of disappointing Dad for not going to the games (or perhaps bringing him to the realization his “little girl” was growing up), I angst over how to tell him!

You’ll never guess what I decided to do…… I’ll share that with you at the end……

When the story I am about to share came across my mail, it stirred this teenage memory and on a much larger scale, I want to share Ruth’s story…


The Song Of My Life

I have always wanted to live in California. In 1989, after graduating with my certification in elementary education from Clark University, I packed my car with everything I owned and headed West to follow my dreams.

I set off on my adventure in February and took the southern route from Boston to California. I was so excited to find a fun place to live, get a great teaching job, and start my new life! The trip was fantastic. I visited all sorts of friends and family along the way. Once I reached California, I got scared. The fear of doing it all on my own was so strong that it pulled me back home to the safety of my family.

I moved back home with my mother, in Boston, and eased into my teaching career.  Like others who abandon their dreams, I had to push away that ever-present feeling of regret that I didn't stay in California. The regret became more distant but it never really disappeared.

Fast forward, ten years later, I was still in Boston and getting my masters degree, when my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. I became her primary care giver. It turned my life upside down, and yet I cherished the time I was able to spend with her.

When my mother passed away, I was devastated. It underscored the rut I was living in. I wasn't satisfied with my job, or anything, really. I felt stuck, and my heart KNEW there was something else. 

A decade later, in 2009, I went to a personal development workshop. The facilitator asked: “What’s something that you’ve tamped down, pushed away and told yourself, ‘No I can’t do that’?”

What immediately surfaced was going to California. It had been 20 years since my cross-country journey. 

That very moment, I decided to go back. Instantaneously, I felt the weight of regret from all those years lifted. I was so excited!

That night, I woke up to the "old, nagging" voice of doubt and fear: “Who the hell are you? You can’t do this. You have a perfectly good job; your family and friends are here. What will you do? Are you nuts?”

Then another voice appeared (from the movie, "The Princess Bride"): “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!”

I thought I was going crazy. The voice kept repeating that phrase over and over again. What was going on?

All of a sudden I heard myself saying, “My name is Ruth Wishengrad, you killed my spirit, prepare to die!”

The voice of doubt kept echoing in my mind. So I screamed louder, “My name is Ruth Wishengrad, you killed my spirit, prepare to die!” I kept repeating this until the “You can’t do this” and the “Who do you think you are” voices were gone. 

Finally! I heard what my heart wanted me to do. I was going to California, no matter what. I didn’t know WHERE in California I was moving to, or WHAT I was going to do, I just knew I was doing it.
Once I made the decision, things started showing up to support my dream. My friend, Kate, said she had some vacation time and would love to accompany me. Then another friend said I could ship my car to where she lived in Arizona. Amazing things continued to appear.

It felt like that scene in “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade”, where he stood at the edge of the cliff, not knowing what would happen, and knowing that if he didn’t take that step into the unknown, it would spell disaster for him and everyone else. So he took the step, and the path magically appeared before him. This kept happening over and over for me. Every time I would stop, listen and say YES to me, things showed up, every time. I kept ‘taking a leap of faith’.

A year after I moved to California, an opportunity came for me to take a songwriting class for free. I was terrified to take it. I couldn’t even press ‘send’ on the registration form because my hand shook. What was I afraid of? The class was free, after all. Maybe I was afraid to let myself become who I truly wanted to become. I couldn't let myself be afraid of that, could I?

So, once again, I took that leap into the unknown, and the rewards have kept coming ever since. That was the beginning of my breaking free of my fears and allowing my voice to be heard in so many ways.

It was fifteen years ago this week that my mom passed away. Back then, I was devastated and thought my life was over.

In the last year, since I have found what makes me happy and makes my heart sing, my mom has been visiting me more often in my dreams. It feels fitting to honor my mom’s passing with the birth of my dream. I was determined to make a change and live the life I love and I HAVE!

I’m now a singer and songwriter, creating music that heals and touches the lives of children and adults. I call them Songs to Change Your Tune™.

What dream have you been putting on hold? Take the leap of faith and your life will never be the same.


Ruth Wishengrad

Ruth “Wish” Wishengrad is a vibrant singer and songwriter. She’s passionate about the benefits of positive thinking and empowers others to do the same through her songs. For years, Ruth had these songs in her head. When she finally started to listen to their positive messages, she realized she was really listening to songs of her soul.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too have an experience along these lines?  What I’ve learned during my life is that the role of parents and children become somewhat equal at a point in time and then they change, almost switch.

What I know from my parents is that their greatest joy was to see their children take the lessons they taught in giving us our roots and see them rise, so much so, that we adult children could spread our wings  -   and fly!

Honor your roots and use your wings

Now, back to my little story….I actually called my Dad form a pay telephone (remember those?).  I told him about the dance …he was fine!

Years later, I told him the whole story…he laughed, so did I, then we both shed a tear.

FLY!

(but never forget your roots)

Thank you, Maya

Is it just Me, or will, you, too miss the in-the-moment spontaneous moments of Maya Angelou’s words of wisdom? Without a doubt, we all will. The calm of her voice, the focus of her thoughts, the passion evident in her eyes, Ms. Angelou was, indeed, blessed with great insight and the ability to compose rational thoughts that we could all “get”. Beyond – or perhaps, better said, “before” her ability to share these thoughts was her desire to do so. Ms. Angelou’s impact on civil rights and women’s issues is many decades old, but for many, she became known in households around the world as a regular guest on the Oprah show. Her kindness was evident yet she could “throw a punch”. She could be quite direct; that was good. I often use the term “an iron fist in a velvet glove” and that somewhat applies to Maya Angelou. She said what she meant; she meant what she said and in the end, I believe we could all be better for it. I have chosen one of her, too many to count, quotes to focus on, here and now… "I can be changed by what happens to me; but I refuse to be reduced by it." I am particularly fond of this quote; it resonates quite deeply in my mind and in my heart. For me, it calls upon the strength that is within each and every one of us; trust me, it is there. Now, you just have to learn it trust IT! We are all called upon the make our way through moments in life we wished never came. The death of love ones, most of all, can easily break not only our hearts but our spirits for an extended period of time. For some, it takes far less than such loss to have their spirit broken. Yes, we will forever be changed, and that is more than understood, but we should never allow ourselves to be reduced by it. Out of every moment comes the opportunity to learn a lesson, to count a blessing and to realize that, though changed, in many ways, we should focus on the gift that was ours, the experience we were given and the joys shared with others. Those are the things of growth, of expansion; not reduction. They are the lessons of life that give us the opportunity to gain strength, as if working any muscle of the body. Seeing it any differently, I would say, is to excuse oneself, to pardon one’s own deficiency or lack. Yes, that may sound the stuff of the human condition, but we are capable of so much more and I would exchange development for disappointment, resilience for regret, and faith to move forward over being paralyzed by failure any day – every day. So, IS it just me, or do you, too, thank this complex women who spoke simple words we could all learn something from? Maya Angelou 1928-2014, Author and Poet

May we never forget...

Monday, May 26, 2014 is Memorial Day in the United States.

Let us take a moment to remember those who have lost their lives in the service of their country – whatever country that may be – and let us never forget what some do for all in the name of freedom.

Let us pray for peace around the world, the world we will be leaving to our children and grandchildren.

Enjoy a happy and safe weekend.

Beth’s regular Blog will be back

on Wednesday, May 28, 2014  

Finding Strength Within

Is it just ME, or are you, too, blessed to have someone, anyone, in your life who always seems to find their way through even the most difficult circumstances?

Ever blessed, I have had and have many such people in my life.  Through their examples,I have learned that little is impossible when the purpose, the passion and the plan are well aligned.

Recently, a member of TheIWLA sent me an article she had written; it speaks to that need, that ability to find the strength within.

I share that article with you, as written by Jacqueline Roche

Finding Strength Within

When asked to define strength most people would opt to say it is the ability to defeat a person or situation.

When in reality it is being in control of yourself, of your reactions and what you let penetrate your heart and your mind. It is about rising above a person or a situation mentally and veering your thoughts towards optimism no matter how strong the current rises against you. Having inner strength is believing that you possess the most vital weapons there ever existed right within yourself; heart and soul. And with all of the heart and soul you demonstrate, you give the very best of you to every situation, every day.

I have always been an avid believer in the logic behind the statement, “the glass is always half full”. We spend so much of our time focusing on the things we don’t have, and worrying about situations that probably won’t ever happen. If we were to let optimism and happiness over-come our minds as fast as we let fear and regret, we would undoubtedly lead richer, fuller lives. There is such a wondrous beauty in real happiness and inner strength. A genuine smile of confidence gleams of fortitude and resilience.

True strength within a person is not holding your past and other people accountable for your own mistakes, and realizing your life is a direct result of what you have ultimately done, or let happen, regardless of the severity of situations around you. Strength comes from seeing possible in the impossible and rising above assumptions.

Although fear itself is real, it is also a mere state of mind. It is the one thing that can delineate a person, because it threatens our peace. It instills a sense of uncertainty. It causes us to reduce the size of our own beliefs and magnify the opinions and words of other people. When we begin to compromise with fear, we put our resilience in jeopardy. What we seldom realize, is just how powerful our mind really is. We don't give ourselves enough credit for our strength. We seem to forget, more often than not, that we may not have control of everything and everyone else around us, but we have full control of ourselves. If you let the roots of fear manifest themselves into your mind, you have allowed the outside world to gain control of who you are. It will try to define you are by challenging your fortitude.

 As vicious and unmerciful as an enemy outside of ourselves may seem, there is no greater challenge than the one we face when we battle a fear within ourselves. Unlike an enemy, we can’t simply walk away from our words and our thoughts. In fact, they echo the loudest at the peak of our silence and solitude. It takes learning to free ourselves of regret, free ourselves of pessimism and shake off negative energy, to really found our own strength.

A few months ago, I found this inner strength. I made several life changing decisions to better my life, more importantly, my sons life. We took a leap of fate together into our happiness and there has been no looking back. I learned to be strong enough to love every inch of myself just the way I am. I learned to live alone and to love my life. Instead of depending on another person to safe-guard my hopes and dreams, I went out beyond my comfort zones to reach them myself. It took facing fears and my own reflection, but I did it. Most people can't fathom the idea of being alone because they feel lonely, but you never truly are. You have an entire universe to explore within yourself, thoughts and ideas that are worth more than gold, but never voiced. Be busy. Be so busy following those ideas that you don't have time to be alone. Follow your dreams so attentively, that you lose track of time. That is strength and happiness. Getting so lost in the love you have for life that you completely forget to be lonely.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too realize that you DO know someone who has the ability to dig deep and come through difficult times, often while feeling alone?  Perhaps you realize YOU have used such strength to see it through trying times.  While I hope such times do not come your way too often, please know that within you, within every woman, is the instinct to survive and pull others through with you.

Thank you Jacqueline

You Don’t Need Permission to Shine!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, know someone who is never happy for the success or happiness of others?

I truly don’t like saying so, but I’ve been around long enough to say I have known – and still do – a handful of people who just cannot find it in their hearts to be happy for others if they have nothing to be happy about at the same time.

Human nature is, well, it is what it is!  When Bob Proctor sent me this story; I knew I had to share it.  There is much to be said about dream-stealers, jealous hearts and those who would rather not even try than to learn from an experience and to grow.

The letter, below says it all… I’d like to say “enjoy it”; rather, I say, “learn from it”!

Stand Out In The Crowd

From the files of Bob Proctor

Many years ago a young lady who was attending a seminar shared an interesting story with me. Apparently she and two or three of her girlfriends went and tried out for a place in a stage play. She got the starring role while her girlfriends were not even picked for the supporting cast.

Opening night she said she was really excited but afterwards became very disappointed when her girlfriends never came out and supported her. She was explaining the situation to an elderly friend of her fathers named Hap. He wrote her a letter and she gave me a copy with her permission to share it with others. Read it carefully and think.

Dear Ann,

Once upon a time there was a fellow by the name of Al Capp who wrote a comic strip called "L'll Abner." Many years ago he had some characters in his strip who lived in a town near Dogpatch. They were the town bums, the n'er do wells, the failures whose whole aim in life was to pass judgement on others. Their criticism and ridicule became so vehement that in time the rest of the people in the town became acutely conscious of it. "The boys down at the stable," as they were called because that's where they spent most of their time, soon set the social standards of the town. Nobody could do anything without their sanction.

Because they lived within the structure of their crummy little world, they would laugh and point their fingers at anyone and everyone who tried to be better than they were. As a result the people feared the ridicule of the boys down at the stable so much that they stopped trying. Soon everybody became bums and the town died.

In every social structure, Ann, whether it be family, town, county or state, there are "The boys down at the stable." They are the jealous ones. They are too scared to try something different. They show their ignorance by laughing at those who do. Learn to recognize them Ann, for what they are. Don't let them hurt you. It takes a certain amount of toughness to succeed. One has to rise above those who would tear you down so that they can laugh and say, "I told you so!"

There are too many of us who love you and want you to make it. I could put myself at the top of the list. You aren't going to fall flat on your face as they would have you. You are going to do a superb job. Remember this show is only a small step in the direction of greater things you will do, many of which are beyond your wildest dreams. All you have to do is want to. One of the things I like about you best is that you always give it hell for try.

The show will be a success because of you and others like you who try. There are only winners in the cast. The losers are gathered down at the stable laughing and hoping for your failure. If we could dig down deep inside them, I'm sure we'd find they want to win also, but are too scared to try, and they attempt to cover up their own failures as human beings by laughing at others. In a sense I'm sorry for them. Their guilt must make them very unhappy people.

Much love,

Hap

So, IS it just me, or do you, too “get” that you don’t need anyone’s permission to try or to succeed.  You need heart, you need passion, you need purpose and a plan.  It’s nice, of course, to have the support of others, but don’t anticipate it, don’t wait for it and don’t shrink in the absence of it.

Above all, be true to yourself!