Socrates and me!

Is it just ME – and Socrates, or are you, too, always curious as to the ‘who, what, where, when why and how’.

I was blessed to be raised in a family that delighted in my ‘need to know’.  I never remember simply being today, “Because”, in answer to any of my questions.  I was fed with information, which, guess what; provoked more questions.

I remember in an early Philosophy class in college studying the ancients:  Plato, Aristotle, Socrates.  When we got to Socrates, classmates were quick to turn their heads and comment, “That’s you, Beth!”  Yes, they were right. Socrates, a student of Aristotle was known for asking questions!

I recall driving with my Mom and asking her if she thought there were more blades of grass or grains of sand in the world!  She supposed there were more grains of sand.  I supposed she was right! (She most often was!)

While sitting at a red light in close proximity to a large department store (I miss you, Bonwit Teller!) I asked my Mom how many bricks she thought were in the building.  She said, “Well, let’s do some math!”

Do you realize how lucky I was?  I’m not sure I did in those moments, but I sure came to realize it.  I came to appreciate that questions do have answers – or at least they provoke thoughtful conjecture, conversation, assumptions, etc!  I learned – as we are all told – there are no stupid questions, just stupid answers!

But, I wasn’t answered that way.  I was answered so as to cause me to continue to think, to expand my mind.  In so doing, I gained a wealth of information and didn’t grow up being afraid to ask.  I also learned not to be afraid if I were asked a question to which I had no ready answer.  I was given the gift of a sound foundation of communication.  I learned to listen, to think and to answer; not just to respond. 

We all have ready resources if information.  Technology makes it simple to find factual answers to questions – that’s great.  I wonder, though, what negative effect it may be having on the whole cycle of communication. 

Do we want to know, just to know?  Don’t we want to know so we can share, learn from each other and to grow.  Is the strength of our thumbs growing exponentially to the expansion of our minds?

Call me old fashioned, but nothing beats the magic of human imagination and the world of “I wonder…..”.

So, I wonder where the world would be if we began to speak more, to actually answer, rather than just responding…I wonder what would happen if we could just imagine more and know a tiny bit less.

Technology serves us well in the sciences and we have benefited greatly from advances in medicine because of it.  Technology has overloaded us with less valuable information, the benefit of which “ I wonder”.

SO, is it just ME – and Socrates – or do you, too remember the joy of days when you could just wonder, imagine, dream,  without really knowing?  Maybe I just miss driving around with my Mom and talking to her – boy, do I ever!

"Wisdom begins in wonder."

Socrates

Aim high; no higher!

Is it just me, or do you, too, know folks who you believe let talents go unused, underdeveloped, wasted?

OUCH!  Just hope no-one puts you in that category; I’m hoping the same for myself!

I believe in dreaming.  I believe in wishing.  But as an ‘oldie but goodie’ song tells us, “…wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming won’t…………..”.

Fill in the blanks as you see fit !

I believe in the dreams of others.  I want things – good things – for others – sometimes more than they seem to want it for themselves, which, by the way, rarely works out well!

What I don’t understand is anyone who spends a life just dreaming, just wishing, just hoping.  “The world doesn’t owe you a living”, my Dad would say, “it’s up to you to go out and work for it and to earn it.” 

What sometimes gets in the way, especially for women, is the active role we assume in making everyone else’s dreams come true.  (So, have you helped someone’s dream come true or have you simply given them what they wanted?)  Sometimes, it’s the lack of belief in one’s self.  Sometimes, it simply not aiming high enough.

I am at the stage of life where there is more behind me than ahead of me as far as time goes, yet I believe the best can always be yet to come.  I don’t believe in excusing failure for not trying and I don’t believe in sitting around waiting for something to happen to me or for me.  I believe that my life is not a spectator sport and that simply showing up is NOT half the battle. 

We need to set goals – BIG goals.  We need to have audacious visions. We need to be engaged.  We need to take action.  We need to DO in order to HAVE and in HAVING, we can CONTRIBUTE.

This is not rocket science – by any means.  This is simply saying we don’t need to solve the age-old mystery of which came first: the chicken or the egg.  We can still enjoy the egg!!!

What I am saddened to see is any woman selling herself short. 

What I am saddened to see is any woman who gives up before she starts.

What I am saddened to see is any woman who does not believe in herself .

What I am baffled by is to see anyone set off on a journey not knowing in what direction to go up.

HERE”S THE DIRECTION:  UP!

Dare to dream and dare to dream big.

Don’t permit another to steal your dream,

Don’t steal anyone else’s dream!

So, IS it just me, or do you too, realize there are two kinds of dreams: the one’s you imagine as you sleep and may not even remember once you wake up and then there is the dream you begin living as soon as you wake up!

Live your dream!

Set your sights high – the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way.

~Eileen Caddy

Patience: a virtue, indeed!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes find yourself  growing impatient when others are not on your schedule or timeline or honoring the same priorities?

PLEASE!  Tell me I am not the only one!

I recently responded to what is a very important set of questions after taking several weeks deciding how – and when – I wanted to respond.   You know I had to consider all options, all versions, all the ins and outs: my due diligence had to go full circle!

So, I put together my responses, all of my explanations, offered a few alternative options, added the niceties and sent it off.  Again, it took me about 3 weeks to push ‘send’.

That brings me to today:  day 3!  Still no response to the response!  The nerve!!!

Of course, I am hoping the party on the other side is approaching this project with the same integrity, commitment  - and due diligence – as I.  So, why should I grant just 1 day per week it took me to do the same?

Oh, my dear readers:  PATIENCE, patience………..

Well, in my family, I don’t think we went through the complete patience cycle when virtues were being distributed.  Without a doubt, we easily make up for it in other ways, but patience doesn’t always come easy to all of us!!!

We tend to be decisive – most of us.  We know what we like, we know what we will accept, We know what we are prepared to deliver – and we will never not show up; we always get the job done!  

But patience?  Not so much a lot!!  (But, at least I am honest about it: that counts for something; right?)

On that thought, something very interesting crossed my desk today and I want to share the gist of it with you…

Did you know (I did not), that when planted, bamboo remains below ground and invisible for 5 years? Once it appears above ground level, it has been seen to grow as high as 90 feet – 90 feet – in about 6 weeks. That is nothing short of incredible!

Now, it might seem that the bamboo is impatient – it cannot wait to grow; it does so at all but miraculous speed.

Not so!

The bamboo is patient.  It plants itself firmly, it grown roots, deep and wide so its eventual height can be supported.  That will sustain it  - and if you know anything else about bamboo it is resilient and hard to get rid of.

Ah, the plant a seed story!

So, we think, we ponder, we do our due diligence.  We plan, we take action – THEN, we want instant gratification!

Failure to plan, not planning well enough, moving too quickly are all ways of not allowing our thoughts, our dreams, our goals, our visions to become fixed in themselves so that growth is possible and sustainable.

I am suddenly thinking about children who want nothing more than to grow up and be, well, ‘grown-up’.   How many ‘grown-ups’ do you know who would love to go back in time and recapture the joy of youth?   My dad used to say that youth was wasted on the young.  What he meant was that we were not wise enough to appreciate it at the time and that we even wished time – the only thing we know we will run out of – away. Ah, the wisdom of the ages!

We are told that good things come to those who wait!  Waiting, though, is not enough. 

What the mighty bamboo tells us is that if we work our plan our plan will work.  (We typically hear that in reverse!) 

Be patient with others; give them time to catch your spirit, your energy.  Give them room to appreciate your thoughts, your visions:  BE PATIENT.

Above all, be patient with those you love – especially yourself (yes, you must love yourself!). As all good parents do for their children, give yourself roots to grow – then, grow your wings and fly.  SOAR!!!

So, IS it just me, or do you too, feel today was a great day:  we both learned something new.

Let your dreams take root!

The Longest Journey!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, ponder over big thoughts, such as this?

Just this morning, I heard a very learned man state that the longest journey is one foot; about the distance between your brain and your heart!!

WOW, I thought, I love that!  It makes sense!  It’s so true!!

Simple!  Profound!

Sometimes, the (seemingly) simplest things in life end up being the most profound and that’s how I feel about what was preached to me to be the longest journey.

Did you ever hear someone say something that seemed to have left the brain and the mouth on a total disconnect?  I guess that’s because the brain went to the mouth instead of to the heart, where it could be held,  if but for a moment – before it becomes the spoken word, the words sometimes unable to be taken back – or at least forgotten.

So,  let’s THINK about it…let’s use our brains.  Let’s ponder the worth, the value of something…anything…everything in our lives.  Let’s  have a cerebral experience.  Let’s weigh pros and cons, then let’s send it to our hearts where we ponder from a different tilt.  Let’s access the impact of what we think and how we feel about it.  Let’s consider how it might affect others.  Then, let’s re-access.

There are many thoughts that are in and out of our minds regularly; almost too fast to be captured and remembered.  Maybe that’s a good thing, after all.  Maybe those thoughts are not meant to take up space in our hearts, not meant to be shared with others, not intended to leave indelible marks on other hearts.

Now, let’s consider the things we hold in our heart that are weighing us down, that we are carrying around for too long; thoughts yet to be shared, expressed or spoken to another.  There’s a reason for that, as well.

I think these are the things we hold most dear; the things we need to express once they begin to take up more room than they deserve.  Hearts must always be ready for new thing, you know.

So, what’s in and on your heart?  What have you been thinking about forever and still not taken any action on?  What’s holding you back?  Why do you fear the first step of that ‘longest journey’?

Quite often it’s just that: fear!  Fear, of course, disguises itself in many different ways, but most often, it is fear. 

I’ll  bet your notion of fear comes with a heaping amount of negativity.  If we are fearful, it must be a bad thing.

Not so, I put out to you!

Fear can be the race of the heart when your eyes set upon a new love, a newborn child.  Fear can be the overwhelming anticipation of the last step before the first next big step toward something wonderful – something you are still not able to wrap both head and heart around!  It is a journey, after all!!!

Thoughts are in your mind for a reason; actually, you place them there: consciously or otherwise.  They are the culmination of many other processes I am not able to adequately explain; trust me, won’t you?  They are there to serve you, to grow you, to create value for you and others.  Listen to them!

The thoughts you hold to be the most valuable are those that take that journey to your heart where they can take on a new life, a wonderful life!  You start to feel your thoughts, they have color and movement.  Feel them!

Please shed your fears and continue our journey.  There may be rough roads, distractions, missed turns…but your journey will take you where you THINK you need to be and where you FEEL the best about yourself and your life.

So IS it just me, or have you, too, been trying to quiet your thoughts and your feelings?  Are you ready to take the first step?  Are you ready to overcome your fear – one step at a time.  Go ahead!  Take the longest journey between brain and heart.  The endless miles that follow will seem quite easy after that!

Enjoy your journey!

Bouncing Back…

Is it just ME, or are you, too blessed to know – or to have known – women with what can only be described as astounding resilience?

I’d hazard to guess that anyone who knows but a handful of women knows at least one resilient one; I think it’s part of the gender description!

Resilience isn’t always easy, though I dare say, becoming more and more necessary all the time. 

Life tests women, it challenges women, it sometimes dares women.  In that challenge is the need to be able to get over the “stuff” that slowly wears us down and to  survive the moments that hit as if a ton of bricks:  fast and hard.

“No-one gets out alive”, my Dad used to say.  It’s all the in between events, experiences, disappointments and heartaches that being present in truly living, not just being alive,  from which we learn our biggest lessons and form muscle and personal constitution to keep going.

Again, not always easy!

On the scorecard of life, you will not be measured by how many times you fell, but by the times you got up.

On the scorecard of life, you will not be measured by how many times you failed, but by the number of times you tried.

That, dear sisters,  is what it means to be resilient.  I like that work; I feel it’s as pretty a word as its meaning is strong.  It’s a shiny word and it’s a smart word: it’s the perfect word to describe a true woman of leadership in today’s world.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too applaud all the resilient women you are blessed to know, to know about, to have shared time and space with or to have learned from?

Get up just one more time than you fall down!

 

Never settle…

Is it just ME, or do you, too know too many people, especially women, who just always seem to accept what they are given?

Now, I’m not talking about accepting that your feet hurt by the end of the day or that you are not as understood as you want to be…I’m talking about accepting that whatever happens just happens.  I’m talking about women who don’t play an active enough role in their own lives!

I read a very interesting quote recently: something to the effect that once you settle for less than you deserve, you get less than you settled for…something like that and I am sorry I can- not give credit to the right party.

Once you settle, you accept.  Once you accept you acknowledge that “it’s good enough” – for you.

There is no woman in the world who deserves any less than anyone else in the world…please read that again…a third time if you need to…

Now, here’s the warning on THAT label:  it’s still your choice!

If you chose to accept, to settle, you’re not “allowed” to complain about it after the fact.

You CAN, however, change your mind and decide you want more, you deserve more and you are willing to do the work to achieve more.

Fair deal; don’t you think?

Sure it is.  It reminds me of a famous scene in a movie (NETWORK) in which people are shouting out their windows, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Try it; very liberating…now do something about it – because you can. 

Believe me, within the capacity of every woman is greatness.  Women are natural born leaders!  Day-in and day-out women share their incredible stories with us at The International Women’s Leadership Association.  They share how they overcame circumstances and situations others of us cannot comprehend by deciding to try to change them.

Many, many tiny steps add up to major leaps and in that journey is change and in that process is the unwillingness to settle.  In that process is declaring that I am worthy to the extent I am willing…

So, IS it just me, or do you, too realize that your right to choose gives you power over results ; power over your life.

Chose to never settle

We survived!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, wonder how the world survived for the approximate 38 minutes Facebook went down on the morning of June 19, 2014?

OMG… it was in the 4 A.M. hour and I was up listening to the morning news.  The announcement was made:  Facebook was down!

I lay there wondering what I should do…in this “War of the Worlds” moment, I prayed the panic would not spread too quickly, that windows wouldn’t open and that 1.2 billion people could hang on and make their way through this tragedy!

I was glad it was so early on the east coast of the United States  and thanked God that most Americans were still in dreamland believing the world was as safe as when they closed their eyes the night before.  If only they knew!!!

“Sorry; something went wrong” were the simple reply words given to those Face Bookers east of New York.  Wasn’t Eastern Europe in enough pain?  How would the feelings of Spain’s loss to Chile in the World Cup be shared with so many – not to mention on the same day at the Coronation of a new King in Spain!  ENOUGH!

Calm returned within the hour; all was right with the world again (Oh, really?)!  Face Book was back!

OK – just having a moment!

BUT, it did cause me to think how reliant we have become on “stuff” the world knew nothing of so short a time ago!  Progress!    Progress?

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, miss some of the personal touch that was shared between friends and family?  Are we on sharing overload?  Who really needs to know what ANY ONE is doing in any given moment?  Progress!   Progress?  Just a thought:  In the words of ET…CALL HOME!

Reach out and touch someone

(notifications don’t count!!)