The 3rd time, excuse me, the 5th time is a charm!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, relish the joy of a great human interest story?  If so, this is your luck day…

The name Diana Nyad is not new in the news.  In mentioning her name, some may respond, “Isn’t she that old lady who keeps trying to swim a long distance – and keeps failing?”

“No”, I would refute, “she’s that relentless woman who keeps inspiring all of us to never give  up on a dream, a goal and to just keep pursuing it; but, yes, she is a swimmer”.

Well, on Monday, September 2, 2013, “that old lady” made history.

She made history because she attempted – for a 5^th time – to swim from Cuba to the Keys of Florida.  That’s not the only reason she made history.  She blew it out of the water (no pun intended; unless you think it’s a good one) by being the first to do so without the protection of a shark cage (the kind that keeps them out!) AND, “SHE” is 64 years of age.

Aside from the obvious athleticism required for such a strenuous swim – not to mention dangerous -  and the place Ms. Nyad  takes in swimming history, let’s not overlook what this represents on so many levels.  This is bigger than a sporting event. This is more than “the thrill of victory” over “the agony of defeat”, as the Wide World of Sports taught us. This is bigger than the individual – and I take not a thing away from Ms. Nyad.  This is a story about life, the human spirit, teamwork, determination, persistence.

This is a story within a story and each of us should see ourselves in it.

How many people do you know – and have loved – whose knee you  may have sat upon or whose hand you  may have held who shared all they had dreamed of doing in life – then told you all the reasons they didn’t do any of it?  Can you count?  If you can think of even one (and I defy you not to) STOP; that’s enough.

Now, how many people do you know, admire or wish you could be more like who just keep doing, who don’t keep track – or score  - and just keep doing.  Perhaps, they don’t even take the time to share their story.  That’s fine; their story will live by virtue of what it is they did to affect the lives of others and for long after they have physically left this earth.

Who would you rather be?

Today, I challenge you to be a Diana Nyad (I know, the thought of putting on a bathing suit is one of the greatest fears among women!!  Something else, if I might add, I give Ms. Nyad’s credit for!)

Put a dream into motion.  Stop excusing yourself for not trying.  Believe it, or not, there is more dignity in trying and not succeeding than in never trying at all.  Don’t equate a failed attempt with ultimate failure.  Don’t accept the “would have”, “could have”, “should have” path to old age.  Replace it with “Veni”, Vidi, Vici” (Latin for: I came, I saw, I conquered.)  Believe me, your perceptions, your beliefs, your attitude are the highest mountains you have to climb – or swim….

Here’s what I especially love about Diana Nyad:

She never gave up.

She sees herself as a member of a team – though she was the only one  swimming.

She acknowledges that, though faster as a twenty year old – when she first attempted the swim, it was her wisdom as a 64 year-old that helped her reach her destination (Youth, so often wasted on the young!)

She said she appreciated the journey, itself – it did take a lifetime.

She immediately inspired others to keep trying rather than speak about herself and the grueling 110 miles behind her. 

And,

That on a U.S. National Holiday called Labor Day, she may have worked harder than she ever had – because a dream, a goal and a destiny are always worth getting out of bed for – even on a holiday.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, feel yourself wanting to dig inside your memory bank of yesterday’s dreams, dust them off and jump back in.  Even if you start by just dipping your toe in this pond of personal dreams left too long on the shelf… hey, it’s a start.  

Age, like attitude, is just a state of mind

Happy Labor Day!

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. 

It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being 

of our country.

From all of us here at TheIWLA, we wish 

you and yours a happy and safe 

Labor Day weekend!

Smiles for miles…….

Is it just ME, or have you, too, ever had a day ruined by the way a total stranger spoke to you?

WOW...the power of the spoken word! 

I was at a stop light last Sunday morning, having just left church and feeling rather positive and uplifted.  At the very first corner, the light was red.  Then a ‘do not turn’ indicator was given because the commuter train was arriving and, if cars kept turning, a lingering grid-lock occurs.  I get it; nice to see our tax dollars at work.

The regular light turned green.  The ‘do not turn’ indicator remained on.  I waited.  The man in the car behind me leaned on his horn – it was 9 a.m. on a peaceful Sunday morning!!

I tried hard to ignore it; he continued to honk.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he was a weekend visitor (if so, please go home and don’t come back!), I opened my window and pointed to the sign. 

The language – the expletives – none of which I will document hear and now, exploded!

I sat; he leaned on the horn all the more.

The train departed, the green light now turned red and the “do not  turn” indicator was now off. 

He “re-expressed” himself.

When the light turned green again, I was waived on by the car that had the right of way going in the opposite direction.  Ah, poetic justice! 

I watched in my rear view mirror for almost a full mile, hoping to see where the offensive driver was going.  He never came into view.  Probably a good thing – for both of us.

I will admit that I carried how – almost embarrassed – I felt to have had such unkind words hurled at me; it lingered for a couple of hours.

Then it dawned on me…it really wasn’t my problem; it was his.  My reaction to it was my problem – not his.  We’ve all heard the saying that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. TRUE.

Now, four days late, I listened to a message left on the Concierge line at TheIWLA…it was a women calling to express how badly she felt for possibly sounding curt to a Representative who was trying to help her!  She was eager to receive a call back from the same person so she could personally apologize!

  

THAT’S A BIG WOW!

I took a lot of integrity – not courage – to leave that message.  It took accountability and sensitivity to make that call. 

Human nature makes it easier to complain than to apologize; sad, but true.  We express negativity more easily -  and more frequently – than we do positivity; sad, but true.

Hearing that message was what made me recall my own Sunday morning incident; the contrast was so vivid, so extreme.  It served as a great reminder that what we sometimes think is our right, that “I” always come first, that your feelings are your problem…doesn’t always work that way.

I am reminded every day that what we say is, of course, important, but HOW we say it is even more so.

In a world where natural disasters don’t give us choices and inhumane governments steal freedom and life itself – even from their own people - “little” things still matter. Perhaps, they matter more now  than ever.

 

Bruises left by unkind word sometimes are the slowest to heal, for they cut deep.  Though not seen, they are felt; they are real.

What if we all smiled at a stranger?  Would it – could it make a difference?  I don’t know, but I am willing to try.

So, IS it just me, or will you join me and start a wave of “smiles for miles” and see if it makes a difference.  I’ll bet you it does – at least for YOU!  Hey, it’s a start….

Here’s smiling at you!

Carry On…

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometime sing the lyrics of songs without giving them much thought? Please, tell me I am not the only one!!

In the past week, or so, I have heard a song that drew me in;  I think I was singing along the very first time I heard it – now THAT’S a catchy tune!!

MY ear picked up a bit of a Celtic sound and rhythm; a pleasing sound to these ears, indeed.

That caused me to tap my foot and bounce my head; these are the words that made me think:

“May your past be the sound

Of your feet upon the ground...”

WOW!  Such prophetic words from a band named “Fun”.  I've thought about these words and decided I’d be OK to have them as my epitaph.

What I get – and invite you to consider – is that regardless of our phase or stage of life, we ought to take time to glance back and in our own past and on our own path we should see that we were always moving, that our feet were always making noise and that we were headed toward something.  In glancing back, it’s alright to slow down a bit to focus on the view, but don’t stop – not even then; there is no time to waste.

What you don’t want to hear in looking back on your own life is the sound of silence, albeit, lines from another great song.  While we may think we want silence, that we long for what my own dear parents said they wished for (but never got) was ‘peace and quiet’.  Actually, I don’t think they would have known what to do with it!   Actually, I think they were happy in never finding out in may have been a disappointment.

Click HERE for VIDEO

NOISE is good, and it need not have high volume!  Noise can be the thoughts in your own mind, the feel of your own heart beating a bit faster, the anticipation of seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time.  Noise is proof that you are not just alive, but that you are living, that you are moving, that you are growing, making a difference, leaving a footprint.

Noise doesn't have to mean you are heard above all others; but it can mean you are noticed above others, that you are easy to remember and hard to forget/  Noise doesn't mean you have to be the life of the party; just that you added to the enjoyment of the party for others.  It doesn't mean you have to be the one everyone else wants to be; it means you are the one others are happy just to know. 

What’s great about this notion is that if you have been sitting with your feet up (figuratively), in any moment, you can chose to put your feet on the ground.  Guess what?  The moment you do that, you have a moment to look back on…YOU WERE MAKING NOISE!  Now, keep going.

Your past need not define this moment; it need not define your future and it need not define you. If you got to the party late, that’s OK;  better that than not showing up at all  - or that you left before the music began.

So, IS it just me, or do you feel like dancing, marching, moving, making noise?  Don’t let me get in the way………

Carry on; carry on!

Once in a Blue Moon!

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes hear yourself repeating coined-phrases – everyone does – that’s why they’re “coined phrases”, without really understanding them?

I’m quite sure you have; at least “once in a blue moon”!

Having just gone through an actual blue moon occurrence in the heavens, it caused me to think about the phrase a bit more as well as its actual definition. 

What a blue moon actual refers to is a second full moon in a calendar month cycle (though there are other explanations that refer to it as the third full moon in a season in which there are 4!)

While the ask.com info is interesting, if not confusing, my point is this…

I noticed there was quite a bit of talk about this recent celestial event.  It was in the papers, on the web, featured on news shows, spoken about in the office – I even texted a colleague on my way home to tell her to ‘look at the moon’ as an encore to the fact she and her husband had joined others at the beach the night before, built a fire and – well…gazed at the moon.  Ahhhhhh!

How wonderful, I thought to take time to celebrate and enjoy such a beautiful view – especially since it won’t happen again for about another 3 years! 

Now, I am thinking…but no moment ever comes again!

All we have is the here and now; the “present”, the gift that is ours to use or to lose.  So, what is it that we are all busily (term used loosely) waiting for?  Every moment of our lives “present”s us with options, opportunities and choices to be made.

Not every moment is meant to be one of epic proportion; believe it, or not, even that could become mundane, but every moment is to be savored, appreciated and put to good use.

The “once in a blue moon” moments are the extra-special moments and we do need to anticipate them, grow eager for them and create new memories because of them.

Looking up at the sky last night, I didn't see the moon, at all.  I know I will see it again in its many shapes, sizes and hues.  In the meantime, there were countless stars in the sky to fill my senses, to cause me to appreciate the breadth of it all and to say, “This, too, is a moment.”

Now, here’s where I think it really gets even better…these moments exist everywhere and at all times.  We just need to take a moment to slow down and see what is always around us; what we often overlook.

Stars are in the night sky, yes, but stars are where you chose to see them: in the faces around the dinner table (hopefully that’s a gift you give yourself!), strangers in a crowd, most especially, it is you star-gazing your own reflection in the mirror.

Yes, it is you!

 

Keep your light shining; keep it glowing and growing by being present in the moment and contributing to the beautiful view you can help create for others.  Actually, those just might be the most epic moments of all.

So, IS it just me, or are you, too, starting a mental list of all the stars in your reach.  Are you wondering whose lists you might be on?

Be in every moment;

Shine in every moment.

Reach for the stars!

Are you playing the right music?

Is it just ME, or do you, too, appreciate words of wisdom from experts who get you back on the right track?

Today, I am sharing the wisdom of Mary Jane Mapes and boy, is she right on target – as she always is…

Mary Jane describes the two sides of leadership and the two sides of effective followers.  There are always two side; it is a partnership.  Think of it this way:

If you are dancing to different music, someone is going to get hurt, the pleasure of the experience is diminished and you may not get a second chance to strike up the band.  It makes sense to be on the same page, see the vision the same, understand the desired results and land it; that’s the sweetest music of all!

This is all about expectations, but, perhaps,  the best take-away from this is the need for all parties to be accountable.  It is so easy to blame, accuse, pass-the-buck, call it what you may. 

   

Let Mary Jane share her story with you…

Recently Dawn, video aficionado and recorder for most of my online educational videos, helped me put together a speaker demo video for meeting planners.  She'd not done something like that before, but felt confident she could do the job.  I was excited. We pulled out the latest couple of programs I'd had video recorded for client audiences and viewed them, with me pointing out clips that I thought we could use, while sharing with her the importance of having some music to bring the whole thing together.  Because speeches, venues, and expectations are constantly changing, I didn't want to invest thousands of dollars into a video that I'd just have to turn around and change.  So it seemed like a wise choice to have Dawn do it. She took the video materials and equipment home and put together what she thought was a wonderful video, and then sent me the link for my approval before posting it "live".  Viewing it, I felt irritated. The finished product was not what I thought we'd talked about.  But I also knew that I had no one to blame but myself.  I simply had not taken the time to communicate my expectations to her in a way that allowed her to clearly understand what it was I actually needed. So, back to the drawing board--with time, energy, and money (not to mention high hopes) wasted. I should have known better. Having worked with leaders as a consultant and executive coach over the past several decades, I know that clear expectations is a basic leadership competency - something I had not provided Dawn (and the second of 5 mainstays of leadership trust -Character, Clarity, Consistency, Commitment, and Contribution).  Had I been less aware, I might have chalked the incident up to Dawn's incompetency, her lack of listening skills, and a flagrant disregard for what I was asking.  Trust would have been seriously affected and our relationship damaged. Fortunately, none of that happened. Accepting responsibility for less that stellar results, I again sat down with Dawn and laid out exactly what I wanted.  We viewed samples of demos that more clearly indicated what I had in mind, and she had a chance to ask questions (and question some of my requests). We identified specific clips from my videos, marking the beginning and ending of each clip. We identified the order for the clips, the words that would indicate what the viewer would see, and how the music would be used.  We took time for discussion, making it possible for us to negotiate other elements to be included. We cleared up anything that seemed confusing to Dawn or to me, ending with the joy of knowing we were both in total agreement. A couple of days later Dawn sent me another link. This time it did not disappoint. In fact, we were thrilled! Why?  Because we had taken the time to thoroughly discuss expectations, validate them, ask and answer questions, and negotiate elements with one another. This time I did not assume that my expectations were clear - a major trust-buster when results don't match. As a leader, it's your job and responsibility to clarify expectations so that you do not end up undermining trust and pointing the finger of blame in the wrong direction. Be your own best coach:  To make sure you're providing clear expectations (at work or at home), think of the last time you were disappointed in the results you got - results that didn't match expectation - and answer the following questions: · Did you check with the other party to see if your communication had been clear?  Did you know what that person had understood from your conversation? · Did you ask the other person what they saw as their next step?  · Did you ask that person what you could do to make things clearer for him/her? · Did the other person have a chance to express their own ideas and concerns? ·  Was the work expectation going to be a win-win for both parties? Remember:  If you are not the one in charge, clear expectations go both ways.  Take responsibility every time for making sure that you have all you need to fulfill on another's expectation of you. But as a leader, that does not negate the fact that, ultimately, you are responsible.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too, better understand exactly what Mary Jane is teaching us here?

If you start ANY journey headed in the wrong direction, you’ll never reach your destination in the most efficient and enjoyable way possible.

Champion, Indeed!

So, Is it Just ME, or do you, too, find sheer stupidity to be, well stupid?  Well, have I got one for you….

Imagine…you are an 11 year-old girl. Your spinal chord is stricken with a rare neurological disease rendering you unable to walk.

Fast forward seven years.  You are now 18; ahh, the magic of being 18  (must pause for a moment and just remember…smiling…).  You have been in a wheel chair for all of those seven years; almost half your life!

Meet Victoria Arlen, the young girl who uses wheels for legs.

  

Victoria was in a coma for years. She missed-out on most of the typical experiences of youth.  One could grow quite bitter with such a fate.

Not Victoria…she chose not to jump into the pity-pool: she jumped into a swimming pool, instead.  With diligent training and unwavering determination, she has become a world record-holder and highly decorated athlete.

Having just arrived in Montreal, Canada for the Paralympic World Swimming Championships (August, 2013), Victoria has learned she has been disqualified from competition.

Why, you ask?  (You better sit down for this….)

A 16-person governing group of the International Paralympic Committee (IPC) has determined that Victoria is “not paralyzed ENOUGH”!

I might find it possible for one non-thinking, unfeeling version of a human-being able to admit to such an opinion, but…and  let’s assume there had to be a majority ruling…that means NINE such wonders had to  agree.

Before I express my feelings about the IPC and it’s ruling, may I humbly suggest that it be ruled hazardous to humanity for 9 – 16 persons of this ilk to come together – for anything!  (Therapy might be OK!)

Now, let’s suppose that many of those 16 committee members are parents…you see where I am going…how would they feel, then?  Would having the ruling of “not paralyzed ENOUGH” in any way soften the type of pain a parent feels for their child who is limited in ANY way? 

Is there a Paralympic event for THAT?

Back to Victoria…

Having arrived in Montreal, Canada and having trained for this world-class event for the last year, she has just learned the IPC  has disqualified her.  Is not their very existence to recognize and support the efforts, the determination, the talents, the resolve of all the Victorias who turn to these wonderful opportunities to find their deserved place in the sun? 

I don’t know if members of this committee are paid or are volunteers.  If they are paid, let’s get a refund!  If they volunteer, thank you, very much, but there must be something you are more qualified to do than destroy the dreams of paralyzed children.

I may not know all the facts.  In some ways, I pray I don’t.  I pray that “they” never know life in a wheelchair, though I would urge them to assume that lifestyle for just one week: that’s one day to every year that Victoria has lived that way…and will continue to.   Maybe, just maybe, they would lift heir pompous bums from it and say, “we didn't care -  ENOUGH”; we got it WRONG!

In a recent interview on a United States national news show, Victoria stated, “I refuse to be bitter”.  In that statement, dear Victoria, you are, yet again, a champion.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too feel more sorry for the IPC Committee members than for Victoria.  In defining their own heartlessness, they have more clearly defined what is in Victoria’s heart: HOPE

Hey, IPC: is THAT ENOUGH?

(who are you people?)

Please consider supporting Victoria Arlen and other disabled athletes in local, national and world-wide competition and celebrate what THEY stand for.

Thank you

ABOUT THE IPC

The International Paralympic Committee (IPC) is an international non-profit organisation and the global governing body for the Paralympic Movement. The IPC organizes the Paralympic Games and functions as the international federation for nine sports. Founded on 22 September 1989 in Düsseldorf, Germany, its mission is To enable Paralympic athletes to achieve sporting excellence and inspire and excite the world. Furthermore, the IPC wants to promote the Paralympic values and to create sport opportunities for all persons with a disability, from beginner to elite level.

The IPC has a democratic constitution and structure and is composed of representatives from 174 National Paralympic Committees (NPC's), four international organizations of sport for the disabled (IOSD's) and five regional organizations. The IPC's headquarters is located in Bonn, Germany.

On the basis of being able to organize the Paralympic Games more efficiently and to give the Paralympic Movement one voice, the four international organizations combined under the IOSD founded the International Co-ordination Committee of World Sports Organizations for the Disabled (ICC) in 1982. In the upcoming years, other organizations joined and the need for a democratically guided organization emerged, demanded by the nations participating in the Paralympic Movement. They desired a democratic structure, to improve national and regional representation, which led to the foundation of the IPC as we know it today. The 1994 Winter Paralympics, Norway, were the first to be organized by the IPC.

The IPC functions as an umbrella organization, representing several sports and disabilities, in contrast to other international sports organizations for athletes with a disability, which are predominantly limited to a single sport or disability.

The word "Paralympic" derives from the Greek preposition "para" ("beside" or "alongside"). and "Olympics". The first connotation connected to the syllable "para" was paralysis or paraplegia. But since the Paralympics cover different disability groups and the close association to the Olympic Movement, "para" underlines the existence of both movements side by side.

A fifteen-member Governing Board oversees the IPC between meetings of the General Assembly. Dr. Robert D. Steadward became the first President in 1989. Since 2001, Sir Philip Cravenis President of the IPC, who is also a member of the International Olympic Committee.

The number of athletes and nations participating in the Paralympic Games and thus being part of the Paralympic Movement is constantly increasing, alongside with the audience. Sport for persons with a disability is growing on a national and international level.