Be grateful – aloud!

Is it just ME, or are you, too, sometimes stopped dead in your tracks by news stories?

As I write, it is November 11, 2013; Veteran’s Day in the United States; Remembrance Day in Canada.

For much of yesterday and on today’s morning news, stories of Veterans have been highlighted in ads, football games and as leading news stories – and rightfully so.

My favorite stories are of today’s service men and women as they  arrive home to surprise their partners and children; they never get old!

I am dismayed by the stories of service personnel returning to find themselves homeless, broke and alone.  I am overwhelmed with sadness to hear the stories of the wounded who must find a way to assimilate into society after horrific injury to the bodies and/or their psyches.

I am also extremely grateful to these same persons who remind us that we are blessed to do what we get to do each day because of what do each and every day.  Please don’t think I am comparing my day-to-day to that of anyone in service; I am neither that bold, nor foolhardy!

An annual parade down New York’s storied Fifth Avenue, streets lined with admiring patriots, countrymen waiving flags are all, indeed,  good things.  Let us remember the service and the sacrifice of military personnel everywhere every time WE have the freedom to walk down any avenue, to express our feelings about anything and everything and that the red on the flag of the United States of America represents generations of men and women who sacrificed everything.  They are those who have given me the freedom to write this today.

I am not alone, neither as an American, nor as a woman to know that blessings come at a very high cost and represent a debt that can never be repaid.  The most amazing thing is that those who serve their country – any country – have not asked to be repaid.  Respect, however, should be a given. Respect must be given to every service person and to their families; it should not be reserved for a once a year commercialization of what it truly means to have served.

A wonderful quote came across my desk today…

Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.

                                                                                                                   ~Gertrude Stein

As with love, gratitude must be expressed; it must be given in order to be received. 

So, IS it just me, or can you, too, think of a moment you would like to have back to say, “I love you”, or “Thank you” just one more time?  Wouldn’t we be foolish to pass up another opportunity?

Say it; show it, shout it! 

A bright light, indeed!

Today’s blog is a bit different, as I share the thoughts, words and visions of TheIWLA member Ekaterina Arnaoutova…

The Light Within

A moment before getting onstage, when the crowds are waiting, something special happens. Something that makes my heart beat faster, that makes my whole body tingle, a feeling of excitement suddenly seizes me.

It's hard to measure success sometimes; for some it's money, for others fame, or maybe winning a gold medal, but if success is linked to happiness, then you must ask yourself what really makes you happy as an individual, and as a person?  Are you following a predetermined path laid by your family, your friends, or society? Do you feel as if you're always answering the needs of others rather that listening to your own desires? It's not easy to always indulge yourself with everything you might possibly wish for, but if you take a step back, look at yourself from a distance, how would you qualify your own success? Do you feel like you are happy, or just satisfied?

Ever since the age of two, happiness was putting on a costume, going onstage, and performing to a crowd of thousands. Hearing them hold their breath in anticipation, laughing, screaming, and roaring with applause is where I found myself to be in complete bliss. This feeling of deep satisfaction, of pride, and belonging is my treasure at the end of the rainbow. Suddenly, I forget about all the sacrifices I've made to be where I am; all the hours of sweat, pain, and tears. Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Today, having spent over 28 years onstage, traveled the world, and shared my art with millions; I wish to inspire others to find their own light within. It takes a lot of courage to be able to open yourself up, to be vulnerable, to expel this energy hidden deep within ourselves, to break down walls, obstacles, and fears.
Knowing what to hold onto, finding the right communication skills, and creating a balance of the power in the mind of the beholder are key elements.

"To achieve success, you must want it as much as you need to breathe."

I have been in the entertainment business all my life. Born as third generation in a family of renowned Russian circus acrobats, I have been performing ever since I knew how to walk. I learned the hard way, what it meant to breath, how crucial it actually is to respire, and how far it will take you. In my world, you have to make sure that's it's the audience's role to hold their breath, not yours. Learning how to breathe through tricks, flights, and feats, is an art form in itself. I think that this applies to anything in life: when you breathe, you take the time to make better decisions, which consequently lead you to better achievements.

In order to fulfill your desires, you must know what you’re aiming for: to want it as much as you would need air. When I'm training to achieve a new trick, soaring in the air and defying gravity, I have to make sure that I can consistently accomplish this sequence many times in a row. Over and over again, the same feat, through bruises, blood, and tears, over and over again. When I get to a point where I feel like I'm completely exhausted and I can't do it anymore, that is when it becomes primal to do it again. One last time, with all the reserve power within, because once you can do that, you know that you've broken through your wall, refined your abilities, and created true strength.

For me, when I hear applause at the end of my act, when I get a standing ovation, when I hear audiences cheering and screaming, when I see tears of joy rolling down people’s faces, that's when I know I've succeeded. Being able to reach and touch my audience emotionally is food to my soul. That's what makes me happy.  I wish that you can find your project, goal, or dream and act upon it. Who we are is defined by our own desires, ambitions, and destinies. We are all individuals, and we must search for our own light within and our inner potential as either woman or man.

                              

Thank you, Ekaterina; beautiful.

Keep your light shining brightly.

The last 26.2 miles….

Is it just me, or are you, too, blown away by stories of extraordinary accomplishments of people you wish you were blessed to know?

Last Sunday, November 3, 2013, the world’s largest marathon was run in New York City.  That’s MY city!

This year’s race was particularly special for a number of reasons.  In addition to perfect running conditions, 48,000 runners and the streets of the 5 boroughs that are New York City lined with record-breaking  crowds offering support to the runners, this year’s race meant more than ever.

Last year’s NYC Marathon was cancelled.  Mother Nature had sent Super Storm Sandy on a marathon of her own.  She too had visited the 5 boroughs as well as the Jersey Shore, Long Island (that’s MY ISLAND!) as well as surrounding Metro areas.   We were in a race of a different sort: to save homes, treasures…lives.

Many are still running THAT race; we are all winners!

After New York, all eyes were set on Boston.  On another beautiful day for a Marathon another disaster struck.  It wasn’t Mother Nature.  In fact, it seemed to be the antithesis of anything that could be defined as natural.  On that day, terrorism struck devastating a country, a city, a community, families, individuals.

We are still fighting THAT battle; we will be winners!

So, November 3, 2013 was about more than world-class athletes  and recreational heroes,  It was about spirit, survival, destiny and humanity.  It was a good day.

That day was special for another reason.  For on that beautiful Sunday and for  more than 8 hours, 86 year old Joy Johnson of California, USA, became the oldest woman to compete in a 26.2 mile marathon.  She competed along with her 83  year old sister – there is nothing like a sister.  Others around her competed in the greatness of this woman aptly named “Joy” – and wasn’t she just!

Somewhere in the 20th mile, Joy slipped and bumped her head.  She declined medical attention and was determined to finish her race.   The next day, she appeared on a National Talk Show with Al Roker to “show-off” her medal; that was her goal. 

Joy Johnson died just several hours later.

The legacy of this beautiful spirit, this outstanding example of determination, this brilliant living-definition of what it means to have a passion and to put it in motion will live forever.  Joy Johnson will inspire others who may never know her name, never really know what it took to do what she did; they just know that she proved what is possible when you have a vision, see the goal and take action to reach it.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too , want to strive to find  some form of “joy” in your heart that can be put in to action, that can inspire others, that can go the distance and in the end create a great legacy of your own?

         That’s a race worth running!

The Wall

Is it just ME, or do you, too sometimes feel as though you’ve hit “the wall” – or that the wall has hit you?

Something tells me I am not alone.  In fact, many of you have told me I am not alone; I am in good company.

So, what is this wall?  What is this force that seems to have power over us to such a degree that it stops us in our tracks?

I believe the answer to that question is a four-letter word!!  It’s  L – I – F - E;  it happens and not always when we feel most able to deal with it, to handle it, to get on with it.

Recent conversations and circumstances remind me that it is in these very moments that we must call upon ourselves and dig deep inside ourselves so as to come out on the other side and get past that wall.

I am one to want to understand the “why” of moments such as these.  In some cases, the whys are so obtuse they explain themselves.  In other moments, they seem more subtle, though no less challenging or threatening.

Among the many life lessons my Mother taught me was that the rear-view mirror explains everything.  What’s important is to stay in the present, to keep moving and to move past the wall by climbing over it or going around it.  Most importantly, don’t just stare at it; for it is staring back and in that glance may come doubt, fear or over-thinking.

When the dust settles and your focus sharpens, you will remember your “why” and if it is strong enough you will easily reduce that wall to tiny pieces that raise it to the ground.  Then, you can keep moving forward.

These days, it seems that many give up too easily when things don’t go as easily as one would hope or wish.  WOW!  If easy facilitation were the most urgent motivator, think of all the wonderful things that have been accomplished that would have been given up on!  Remember your “why”, keep your goals in sight, be prepared to do some demolition along the way; you will conquer the thickest of walls. 

   

So, IS it just me, or do you, too feel up to some “wall climbing”. 

Climb…climb…climb

Dreams really do come true…

Is it just ME, or do you, too, sometimes day dream and imagine what could be?

I believe in dreams.  I believe dreams begin as thoughts.  Often unconscious, these thoughts become more powerful than the thoughts we are consciously aware of.

I believe dreams are pathways to our own destiny; they are the root of actualization.  They are not only inspiring; they are inspired.

Today, and in the company of amazing women and with the support of countless others, I am blessed to have another dream actualized as TheIWLA begins a new day, a new month, a new phase, in a new home.

As in most cases, moving is a twice-edged sword.  There is the excitement of planning and visualizing (dreaming!!) of what a new office will look like, where it will be, how it will function, how it will help TheIWLA to serve more effectively.

Then, there is the angst of worrying if all the decisions already made were the right ones, the best ones.  There is the work of packing, cleaning-up , followed by unpacking and setting up.

In addition to the power of dreams, I also believe that when you believe in and with all your heart that you are fulfilling your life’s plan and being blessed by sharing your blessings…all the work in the world is well worth it! 

When you believe that you are doing all the right things and for all the right reasons, the burden of ‘work’ is lessened by the sense of accomplishment.

To all the women of TheIWLA who believe that we are the agents of change, influencers in today’s world, and for all the better, brighter tomorrows we hope for our children, thank you for doing the work you do so selflessly, so passionately and with such resolve. 


I KNOW IT’S NOT JUST ME!  I know that all people understand the power, the potential and the perseverance of women everywhere, for each to rise to her personal level of greatness and in so doing be part of something that truly is greater than any of us can be alone.

It is who we are; it is what we do…we are TheIWLA!

Dare to dream.  I did.

Thank you.

An open letter to parents on bullying…

Dear Parents,

Since I can remember, I have had a visceral reaction to any situation that involves bullying.   My tolerance level is ZERO.   

What makes someone a bully?  Why do some, by inaction against it, condone it?   Why is anyone stupid enough to think they are above getting caught at it?  

I don’t pretend to have all the answers.  I do believe finding answers is based on caring enough to ask the questions.

In what environment are your children being raised that gives them a sense of superiority over another child?

Perhaps this is part of the genetics vs. environment debate about which the jury is still out, perhaps indicating it is really a combination of the two; which I believe to be true.  Therefore, parents are doubly accountable.

It is tragic that children are such a part of daily news for the worst of all possible reasons. We hear stories of frustrated parents seeking assistance from schools and social systems to protect their children and getting  no response.  Families move to new towns & cities to protect their children – FROM OTHER CHILDREN !    FROM OTHER PARENTS!! 

The epidemic proportions of bullying – and the term should not be used lightly – is an indictment against all of us.   Why should a less attractive, less athletically adept, less popular, less intelligent, less social individual feel pushed to such desperate edges as to the ledges of bridges and buildings?

Social acceptance is a primal desire, I would say, as is love.   Children should leave home fulfilled of that need, certain of that love.    Children should know their value, their worth to the world and I know I sound naïve to think it could be that easy, but it is the best first step to anchor and fortify children.  To send them out as a David in a world they see as full of Goliaths is a task no child should be forced to undertake in addition to all the “normal” challenges of adolescence.  

The job – the toughest job in the world – is that of a parent.  I cannot begin to imagine the overwhelm of heartbreak in bearing witness to your child’s victimization at the hands of bullies.   
What of the parents of the bullies?  I feel as much pity for you.  For to be responsible for turning out ‘weapons’ – yes, bullies kill, just like weapons – is a burden you must bear.    I beg you to search your souls and hold yourselves accountable for the role you have played – or the role you may be ignoring – that turned your child into a death threat to other children.

Know that it is never too late to change this situation.  If you are the parent of a bully, I present to you that your child may be in as much pain as those they bully.  They are questioning their own worth by diminishing the worth of others.  They make themselves feel bigger and better by making others feel smaller and weaker.   

There is a two-sided sword to this plight we call bullying.  There can be no victim if there is no perpetrator.  We must come together and stop pretending there is no problem.  Stop saying we are monitoring our children’s computer activity when we are not.   Stop worrying about our own social status in the neighborhood, pretending we have the perfect child.  We must hold ourselves accountable; we must hold our children accountable.   We will raise kinder,  gentler, more secure children  when we do.


Lastly, let’s be honest.  Let’s stop bullying each other as parents.  Let’s join hands and hearts and protect all children, everywhere.  

Together, we can put an end to bullying – once - AND FOR ALL!!  

With respect and with hope,

Beth Johnston
Executive Director
The International Women’s Leadership Association

The Power of Words

Is it just ME, or are you, too, growing more aware of the power of the words you chose – and the power of the words you hear?

Words are weapons.  I believe in saying what you mean and meaning what you say. 

Choose your words carefully.  Whether you realize it or not, words can overtake your thoughts on all levels.  They become you and you can become them.

Here’s an example:

I was recently among a group of amazing women; so much to offer, so much to share.  So many represented themselves by saying what they weren’t and what they didn’t want.  They placed themselves in very negative places emotionally, psychologically and eventually..,actually.

Declare who and what you are.

State clearly what your intentions are, what your goals and mission are.

Put everything in to positive syntax and, with practice, you will see yourself, your circumstances and the world from a more positive perspective.  You condition yourself to see the glass as half-full – which, by the way, is exactly the same as the glass being half – well not half full!

I don’t know anyone who prefers to spend time with negative, complaining people than with positive, affirming ones.

Sadly, it seems to be part of the human condition to complain, to blame, to be negative.  Just think of how quickly bad news travels!  It is rarer for individuals to go out of their way to compliment, to pat another on the back and just see the upside of any situation.

Lose words such as “don’t” and “can’t” from your day-to-day conversations and chose to see, live and be more positive. Talk about the “law of attraction”, this is what will draw people, opportunity, success and fulfillment to you.  Without even realizing it, you will be turning it around and sending it back out to others.

So, IS it just me, or do you, too see that choosing words and how you express yourself can eventually define your habits and, therefore, your results?

You can?   You can!